Missing

I finally now know a disadvantage to Hawaii - it's really far away from anything.  Normally, I would think that is good thing.  I'm good at wanting to escape.  Get away from it all.  Yesterday I was able to realize it's not always a good thing.

My best friend's mom died yesterday morning.  I'm a long way from Houston right now.  I'm a long way from my best friend.  She understands.  Of course she would.  I may send a proxy - a close girlfriend lives in Houston, I may see if she can go stand next to Carolyn for me.  Or just be there.  Carolyn will be fine.  It will be a hard week, but she is strong, she can handle this.  I know she can, because let me tell you about her mom.

I met "Mom Frusco" my junior year in college.  I showed up over Christmas break at their house.  I was raised in a WASPy family.  Always loved, but family dinners never involved alcohol or singing.  When Uncle Larry broke out into song, I'm not sure I knew what do.  She knew I would be fine, I probably just joined in.

I was immediately welcomed in, and later was told I could stay.  So, I stayed.

She taught me to love Pasta Fagioli.  Although, for years, she said I wouldn't be able to cook it, because it would "take hours and hours".  I did finally get the recipe.  It doesn't taste as good as hers, but I always knew it never would.  Carolyn and I would wake up in the middle of night and go to raid the kitchen - we ate plenty of Pasta Figioli in the middle of the night.

She was always there to listen.  Give advice.  (We now refer to that advice as WWFD - What Would Fran Do). It was fun to help her in the kitchen. Or just hang out on the bar stools with.   Or watch movies in the TV room - as we would sometimes have movie marathons and she would join us to laugh and cry.  Maybe that's why I like to join the kids when they are all hanging out.  Or talk about books.  She loved to read.

Things I remember, that won't make any sense to anyone but Carolyn:

• Sometimes you need to just get in the closet
• Find yourself a "nerd" (and this could be a dork, but I'm thinking it was a nerd)  They rule the world.
• Writing "hi mom" on the memo section of the checks Carolyn would write as she would balance her account.
• I think you two were a little "tipsy" - okay, tipsy is not the word she used.  I will think of it in the middle of the night.
• "A pitcher" is the usual???"
• Coming to see us at college
• Easter baskets - where you don't use a basket.  You use shorts, or something else.  A tradition I carried on with my sons.
•  Hearing stories of her teen years.  While driving barefoot and using her forged birth certificate as a fake id on the Jersey Shore.  
• Shopping at Sam's club for "spring break supplies" or for the New Year's Eve parties we through at the house. 
• Laying on the bed and telling her our grand idea of Carolyn having the girls, me having the boys and deciding that one of them could marry the other.  Her replying "And that would be the end of a beautiful friendship".  (ironically, Carolyn has the girls, I have the boys)
• Teaching us that the song "YMCA" actually has a movie!
• Her singing "Achy Breaky Heart" on the karaoke machine when we had a pool party after college.
• Her losing weight and us all sharing clothes for a time. 
• Love her referring to changing her hair color as "Visine ing" her hair - as in "getting the red out".
• She was the expert "tooth puller" and Duncan remembers her pulling one of his teeth

She was at my college graduation.  My wedding.  I think she actually knew before anyone I was pregnant with Duncan - she and Dad Frusco were in California visiting and we were all out to dinner. I didn't like my wine.  I didn't figure it out, but I think she did.  She was on the phone with me at the hospital when I was in labor with Duncan, as Carolyn was in Mexico.  The first flowers to arrive at the hospital were from her.

She had a stroke 15 years ago.  And while, she was still "Mom Frusco" she became a different "Mom Frusco".

Twenty-five years is a long time to know someone. I could go on and on with stories.

They told us she went in her sleep.  We'd like to think she went telling someone what to do and God finally said, "That's enough Frances, come home".

I'm missing the services.  I'm missing being there for her daughter.  And I will always miss her.

Rest in Peace Mom.

How did we get here?

I've been here a month already.  From date to date - exactly a month.  From the calendar, I've been here for 4 weeks and two days. 

How the heck did that happen?  No wonder I woke up one day in Colorado and realized I've been living there 21 years.  I woke up today, and it's been three summers in Kona. 

I asked the boys if they were ready to go back.  This time last year, this was our last full day.  The lifeguard competition was today, and we left the next night. 

The first summer was filled with adventure and wonder.  What will happen?  There is so much we want to do.

The second summer was filled with a routine and bit of unwanted drama. But still the adventure of what will happen and what can we do.

This summer?  We've settled into our life here on the island.  We have routines.  Habits.  Friends.  We are doing things we have done before.  But also new things. 

Why is it in our own town, we stop exploring the new things?  I KNOW I haven't done everything there is to do in Colorado, much less Denver.  Our town becomes HERE, rather than THERE.  We feel we must go THERE, to try something new. When there are plenty of adventures to be had in our own backyard. 

Well, we are now HERE doing old things.  Still trying new things.  Not sure when THERE became HERE.

Things I never thought I would say

Here are some things I've said, out loud, that I never thought I would:

• Would you like guacamole on that?  And by that, I mean anything as we have now run out of ideas of what to use avocado's for.  I did find a recipe for stuffed avocados - still have to try that.
• What else can we do with bananas?   The bananas in the backyard are about to be ripe - and we will have approximately 1 week to consume 50 or so bananas.  I know, I know, we will freeze some, but seriously 50 plus bananas.
• Did you get all the sand out of the hot tub?
• I think there is something growing in my hair.  Seriously, I can't get a brush through this curly mop and if it's not growing, something might be living there.
• I GET to wake up at 5:45am (it's sleeping in) and to start my day by paddling.  
• Did anyone bring a dry towel?  
• You have to pack the cooler, unload the dishwasher and shake the sand out of your bed, before going to bed.
• Anyone know what happened to the "dry clothes" bag?  

AND probably the one that has shocked me the most:

• Teenagers are pretty darn cute when they are in love.  Not sure I'll say the same thing next summer, but for now, I'm sticking with my statement.

Monday in Paradise

There are seven days a week here in paradise.  Much like every place else in life. 

As a society, we all tend to view "Monday" well, as the start of "work".  I try to balance life and work.  Understanding, there are no distinct lines in my life.  My life blurs between work and play.  It seems to work for me.

But I do have "Mondays", sometimes they arrive on Wednesday.  Sometimes they arrive, well, on Monday. 

Why do people dread Monday?  Most people I know wouldn't want to spend all week doing what they do on the weekends?  Yard work. Shopping.  Riding their bike.

Okay, maybe I lie.  Maybe I do know a few people whom would like to do what they do on the weekends all week.  But we have to pay the bills.  So, Monday comes and people go work doing something they don't love or even like.

They do it for money.  Only money doesn't buy us happiness, it buys us freedom.  Then the habits form.  People work, because that is what they "need" to do.  What society tells us to do.  "Have a career".  "Make something of your life".  We've all followed that dream. 

Luckily, I've done both.  I had an incredible wonderful industrious career.  I had a start up that broke even.  I've been out on my own for many years now.  I just helped a start-up get up and running.

Today, though, was a Monday in July.  The time of year I always make changes.  July that is.  Not Mondays.

Although, I was here a year ago February - I had a Monday then too.  That February, I had a deal fall through, been chased by goats, the dog I was dog sitting got head butted and bit by the neighbor dog - ALL BY EIGHT AM HAWAII time.  Seriously.  If that isn't a Monday, I don't know what is.

Well, I had another Monday today.  It actually started on Sunday.  Seems my beautiful summer daughter gets in trouble for bringing us up.  For wanting to see us.  So, we all "were at the same beach yesterday".  Oh, yeah, we were all there today too.  I'm thinking I should put signs up saying "Warning:  There are boys and ex-girlfriends at this beach".

But, well, it's going to happen.  So, I'm not fighting it.  I'm just here to enjoy my summer.  At least the new old girlfriend seems to be on the summer daughter's side.  Her moves are a little transparent in the girl can see she's just trying to win her over.  But we will take what we can get at the moment.

This morning, the company I've been consulting with, my e-mail no longer would let me log in.  Seriously?  This is how we are going to break up????  I text the owner:  "Do we need to talk?".  "Yes" he replies, "did you get my e-mail".  "well, you shut down my e-mail, so no I didn't".  "Please re-send it to my personal e-mail".  Next text to him:  "I thought we were mates?"  'We are, we just need to figure out what's next". 

I haven't told him, but he knows.  I don't have a non-compete or a non-disclosure.  I'm not signing one either.  Wait, I will, it's just going to cost you.....

And by now, it's 8am.  I have to wake the boys up.

It's Monday afternoon on the mainland and you have one pissed off Mama.

"Hell hath no fiery like a woman scorned".

See Monday's exist even in paradise.  Don't mess with my kids or my money and we will be fine.  After all, I'm a woman from Texas.  We all have bad days, but trust me, you want us on your side. 

And as a mama, I have two teenagers in love.  And there are two moms whom are actually encouraging this situation.  Well, whom can blame us?  Doesn't someone get the Hollywood version of love?  Someone does.  Even on a Monday.

Living in the jungle

Where we live in Hawaii is tropical.  On some land, on the side of a mountain.  Coffee trees in the back yard.  A couple of lime trees.  Bamboo, green grass, wild orchids, a small pond.  A fire pit.  Wild turkeys and chickens roam through the yard - not always, just sometimes.  The rooster hasn't been so annoying this trip. 

Either I'm used to the sound now, or there aren't as many roosters.

There are also these animals called mongoose.  They are a rodent type creature whom you usually only see on the side of the road, or crossing the road.  The story goes:  the mongoose were brought to Hawaii to kill all the wild cats.  Only someone didn't do their research - cats are nocturnal. Mongoose are not.

Needless to say, the wild cats and the mongoose live nicely together on the island.

They say you can finally call yourself a local when you've run over a mongoose (they are pretty darn fast).  Well, I could have run over two this week, only I couldn't do it.

I was able to chase the cat away off the front porch while he still had the mouse IN his mouth.  This morning, we ran the cat off, while the bird was still in his mouth. 

Needless to say, it's a little "wild" around here.

You can't get there from here

You know when you have a moment you really want to capture?  Only there is no way to capture.  No picture would do it justice.  No word could describe it.  It's a just a moment you want to hold on to forever. 

I hope I can describe a moment I want to remember forever.  Really, it's two moments.  Each boy.  But it was the same reaction from each of them.

The night after I picked up Nolan from the airport - we had spent the day at the beach and we were headed home.  You can drive down the highway - which is really a two way road (sometimes there are three lanes, maybe four at one point, but not far.  Granny was surprised the roads were paved  (I digress)) home, then make a left turn, go up a windy road for about a mile and then there is the house.

OR

You can take the back road.  You turn off the main road, on to the "road in front of the house" - only it's 6 miles from the house.  It's windy.  There are huge trees.  Hairpin turns.  Chickens crossing the road.  It's plush, it's green (it's paved) and it's beautiful.  If you look out between the trees through the passenger side window, you can see the sun and the ocean.  Our house is at about 1500 feet elevation, so you are also climbing as you are curving. 

There is this one point, about a half mile from the house and I look over at Nolan.  There was a smile from EAR TO EAR.  There are really no words.  A picture wouldn't have done it justice. The biggest smile ever.

A week later, I pick up Duncan.  Same sequence of events - airport, beach, back road home.  Another smile from EAR TO EAR.  I literally could feel him about to explode.  I seriously thought he was just going to burst right there in the car. 

You could feel the happiness.  The joy.  The excitement.

One day, I hope wherever they are, they can remember this moment and "get there".  

The Pied Piper

You know the bulletin board at the grocery store?  Or the community center or inside your favorite fish market.  You know the place in the middle of nowhere has a bulletin board too.

On those bulletin boards, or taped to counters or to walls there are announcements.  Things for sales.  Missing pets.  Upcoming activities.  Services offered.  Some of them have those "tear off" slips with a phone number.  Others just tell you when and where to go to do/get/see whatever it is.  I guess Craigslist is life's ultimate "bulletin board" - and it changed my life.

I'm the person whom stops and looks at those.  Not all the time.  Not every time.  Not only do I look at them, I then act upon those little "callings" in life.  I call.  I show up.

Example One:  Jr Lifeguard training.  There was a half of a piece of paper taped to the wall between the public bathrooms on the public beach last summer.

Example Two:  Craigslist - I could list a million things here, but that's an older blog.

Example Three:  Last week in a place called "The Poke Shack"  (pronounced Po-kee), there was a flyer on the counter about a "FREE BOOTCAMP"  Three weeks - every Wednesday and Saturday.

I had gone paddling on Saturday morning, so I missed the first Saturday.  I went on Wednesday.  There were 5 of us plus the instructor and her husband.  The boot camp is on the same lawn as the bay where I go paddle.  It was a good work out.  When it was almost over, I asked, "So, why are you doing this for free".  She answered, "well, we are in town for 3 weeks and I don't want to work out alone.  That way I have people to work out with.".  Okay, I'm now in love with the best idea ever.

What a great idea!!! Find something you like to do.  Tell others that you are offering it "for free" - boom, you suddenly have a group of people all doing what you like to do!

Yes, we all spoke about how it hard to go do something on your own, by yourself.  It's always easier when you have someone else.  Yet, here we were, a group of individuals, going to do something by ourselves with other people.

Then in turn, I told them about me and the Canoe Club.  "It's right here, Tues/Thurs/Sat at 6:30am or 8am - be about ten minutes early.  It's a great group.  Everyone is very friendly and it's free."  (If you want to join the club you can, which I did today - the dues are good for a year)

One of the women from boot camp showed up this morning for paddling, and she brought a friend.  Another one showed up for the 8am group.

And so it continues.....