Okay, I've actually only bought it twice.
The first time I bought the house: It was 1998. We went to look at it on Christmas Eve morning 1997. I had a 9 day old baby. We pulled up in front of the house. We didn't even need to go in. This was the house.
Don't get excited, maybe it won't be all it seems. I walked in. This was the house.
We closed Super Bowl Weekend January 1998.
When I moved out January 2002 - He could have the house. I didn't want anything to do with it. Just let me go. Please. I'm sorry. I tried. I tried for 10 years and 2 kids, please can I just go?
I'm sorry.
August 2002. I bought the house back. It was MY house. I came back. My kids, my house. It's funny, I lived there for four years with my ex-husband and kids. Although, when I think about the house. I truly think of it as MY house.
I never did the "apartment with friends" - after college. Yes, I lived in the sorority house in college. Oh my, we were so young.......
I got married. He's a great guy. He's a great father.
What's really funny, I only lived in that house for a year and a half all by myself. Although, that was during the "found years". The years we reclaimed. I think Carolyn was in town every other month - if not more.
Then I moved to the "neighborhood house". The great house, with great neighborhood kids, and well, not "the house in Cherry Creek" No more cute neighbor for your best friend to kiss when she came to town.
This house has been more than I could have ever dreamed.
It's THAT house. Yes, all the kids are here. Comment from new neighbor 'how many kids do you have? we haven't figured it out?" Just two - we just have the neighborhood house. :-) I've wanted my whole life to have the neighborhood house. Once again, those things you want, just go make them happen. "That's really cool". Yes, it is.
Now a time is drawing near. Background here. My "old" house. Is a Denver bungalow. It's charming and has the BEST front porch in the whole world. AND the couple whom bought it - a delightful wonderful young couple - they were just getting married, and I heard a few years ago they had a baby. I'm sure they now have two.
I remember those days. The house got a little crowded. 1008 square feet 1 bathroom up, 1 bathroom down.
I moved to the "neighborhood house" and I told them then: By the time you have kids, you will want more room. And let's make a deal. You can buy my house and I will buy your house. My old house.
My oldest goes to high school next year. 1.2 miles from the old house. Yes, it's too small for us, but maybe one boy lives with their dad and the other with their mom - then they swap. It's big enough for two of us full time - and we are in Kona for the summer anyway. It's closer to the high school. Ten years ago it sounded like a good idea......
Maybe they are ready for the "neighborhood house". Maybe it's time to go back to Cherry Creek. It's seems really small. It doesn't seem like something I would want to do. Although, who can honestly say, "I've bought the same house, THREE times". ?
I do have the PERFECT porch swing to hang on the porch.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Ramblings from home
I went with my oldest son and his dad to register him for classes for high school tonight. A very weird feeling. How can it be?
I know, I have no idea. He's going to high school. A BIG high school. He's been in a "bubble" his whole life. My sons go to a GREAT school. It's a K-8 Denver Public School. It's not a charter school. It's not a private school.
It IS the #1 school in Denver. The parents are OVER involved. Great staff. Great teachers. It's been our little world for the last 9 years. And it's time to move on. There are 50 kids per grade. I call it my public/private school.
High school - it's definitely a public school. I think there are 600 kids PER GRADE. We are about to hit the real world. And he's excited. Of course, several of his really good friends are going there. What he doesn't realize is that he will have a whole new group of friends by the end of high school. It's a really good school.
The way Denver schools are set up - you can go to your neighborhood school or you can "choice" into the school you want. Then it is strictly a "lottery" system. Say, 400 kids from the neighborhood go to the school. Then there are 200 slots left. All the kids that "choiced" in and picked this school first are put into a lottery. Lots of kids he knows didn't get in. He's the charmed child. He got in. Of course he did. We are talking about the kid whom won a contest at a gas station.
He's ready. I sure hope mom is.
I know, I have no idea. He's going to high school. A BIG high school. He's been in a "bubble" his whole life. My sons go to a GREAT school. It's a K-8 Denver Public School. It's not a charter school. It's not a private school.
It IS the #1 school in Denver. The parents are OVER involved. Great staff. Great teachers. It's been our little world for the last 9 years. And it's time to move on. There are 50 kids per grade. I call it my public/private school.
High school - it's definitely a public school. I think there are 600 kids PER GRADE. We are about to hit the real world. And he's excited. Of course, several of his really good friends are going there. What he doesn't realize is that he will have a whole new group of friends by the end of high school. It's a really good school.
The way Denver schools are set up - you can go to your neighborhood school or you can "choice" into the school you want. Then it is strictly a "lottery" system. Say, 400 kids from the neighborhood go to the school. Then there are 200 slots left. All the kids that "choiced" in and picked this school first are put into a lottery. Lots of kids he knows didn't get in. He's the charmed child. He got in. Of course he did. We are talking about the kid whom won a contest at a gas station.
He's ready. I sure hope mom is.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Hockey, Hockey, Hockey
I'm not a believer in club sports. After school sports - I'm all for it. Sports in general, yes. Activities, yes. Activities/Sports where you practice 3 times per week, plus at least one game, if not two every weekend, plus 3 tournaments. (tournaments = 4/5 games in one weekend around the state and one out of state). Now multiply that by two.
Two sons playing club hockey. Yes, I support my sons and what they want to do. Club hockey. No. On an average weekend we have at least three games. (This is an average). Try-outs start in August. The season ended today. My sons are good hockey players, not GREAT hockey players. They love the sport. Their dad loves the sport. Their dad is an incredible, wonderful father. Therefore, the boys love playing club hockey.
I think we do too much for our kids today. They (being the so called experts) say, the children today lack motivation. And in part, I think it's true.
My sons don't WANT for anything. It's truly hard for them to think of things they want for Christmas and Birthday's. Unless of course, that something they want is completely outrageous.
When you WANT something; REALLY, REALLY want something - you figure out how to make it happen. Or wait, maybe that's me. Some people give up and think it's out of reach. Others, figure it out.
I do tell my sons they can't have things. I even say "we can't afford it". It's the truth. We can't afford everything they think they want, when they want it.
Years ago - they were 5 and 6, they wanted a trampoline. I told them if they would save $200, I would pay the rest. They saved for 9 months (a birthday each and Christmas) - pooled all their cash and we went and bought a trampoline. We've been through 2 "beds" on the trampoline - we are now on to our third. The trampoline is bounced upon on a daily basis. They were invested in this.
Yes, they have a Wii - no, it's not played that often. The basketball net - yes, it was gift, and it's played daily also.
There is a balance between want and give. If they WANT it, I usually have no trouble supporting helping them achieve their goals.
In today's structured, over-instruction world, I'm a believer in GO PLAY. Yes, coaching and lessons help make you good. However, there will always be the voice in the back of my head that says "against all odds, the good ones rise to the top - you just have to want it."
Two sons playing club hockey. Yes, I support my sons and what they want to do. Club hockey. No. On an average weekend we have at least three games. (This is an average). Try-outs start in August. The season ended today. My sons are good hockey players, not GREAT hockey players. They love the sport. Their dad loves the sport. Their dad is an incredible, wonderful father. Therefore, the boys love playing club hockey.
I think we do too much for our kids today. They (being the so called experts) say, the children today lack motivation. And in part, I think it's true.
My sons don't WANT for anything. It's truly hard for them to think of things they want for Christmas and Birthday's. Unless of course, that something they want is completely outrageous.
When you WANT something; REALLY, REALLY want something - you figure out how to make it happen. Or wait, maybe that's me. Some people give up and think it's out of reach. Others, figure it out.
I do tell my sons they can't have things. I even say "we can't afford it". It's the truth. We can't afford everything they think they want, when they want it.
Years ago - they were 5 and 6, they wanted a trampoline. I told them if they would save $200, I would pay the rest. They saved for 9 months (a birthday each and Christmas) - pooled all their cash and we went and bought a trampoline. We've been through 2 "beds" on the trampoline - we are now on to our third. The trampoline is bounced upon on a daily basis. They were invested in this.
Yes, they have a Wii - no, it's not played that often. The basketball net - yes, it was gift, and it's played daily also.
There is a balance between want and give. If they WANT it, I usually have no trouble supporting helping them achieve their goals.
In today's structured, over-instruction world, I'm a believer in GO PLAY. Yes, coaching and lessons help make you good. However, there will always be the voice in the back of my head that says "against all odds, the good ones rise to the top - you just have to want it."
Thursday, March 8, 2012
The places I've changed
Changing clothes. We do this daily. We shower. We put on make-up. Every day, we change.
Places I never imagined changing clothes:
Vail parking garage. After skiing, when just up for the day, but before going home. The first time, it seemed quite odd. Second time, well, not so different at all - there are lots of people changing in the garage. It's quite funny. Here you are at a world class resort/ski mountain - changing clothes in a parking garage. Or showering at the club locker room at the hotel, because they don't check id's.
Yes, granted, I did this when I was bit younger. I also did this last year with 3 other mom friends before picking our sons up for the Train concert. They didn't need to know we stayed to late skiing, and the free concert was starting. We felt gross, they didn't care.
I have a new one. The pier in Kona. I actually shaved my legs at the shower on the Pier. A personal best for even me. The showers are really to rinse off. The water is cold.
When leaving the house, I always took extra clothes (lesson learned last summer), the camera and shampoo and conditioner. I have never considered my curly hair fortunate, but it does make life easy in humidity - as long as proper attire isn't required. A little hair product and one is good to go.
I washed my hair. I conditioned my hair. And Al, borrowed both. Quite the site. Only, we weren't the only ones showering at the Pier.
Then, you do go inside the bathrooms to change clothes. Although, I'm not sure if anyone would have minded people changing clothes either. Maybe the tourist. Maybe not.
But we are talking about me here. And I'm not talking about clothes.
A few years ago when I had done my marathon - I told client about the marathon. Six months or so later, I get an e-mail saying he had signed up with the running group I went with to Greece and went to Ireland to run a marathon. Seriously?
We change people too. We change ourselves and those we meet along the way. We never know when something we say will influence another (both positive and negative).
We need to change. Some friends come and go - and always come back. Others stay for a bit and then move on. Or we move on. Others stay forever. We are truly lucky when someone enters our life - even for a bit.
You can thank your blessings for what has been bestowed upon you. You can be miserable because it's not the same as you want it. There is a reason. We just don't always see it.
Changing isn't about the clothes.
You can change. You can get older. You are going to do one, if you are lucky. Why not do both?
Places I never imagined changing clothes:
Vail parking garage. After skiing, when just up for the day, but before going home. The first time, it seemed quite odd. Second time, well, not so different at all - there are lots of people changing in the garage. It's quite funny. Here you are at a world class resort/ski mountain - changing clothes in a parking garage. Or showering at the club locker room at the hotel, because they don't check id's.
Yes, granted, I did this when I was bit younger. I also did this last year with 3 other mom friends before picking our sons up for the Train concert. They didn't need to know we stayed to late skiing, and the free concert was starting. We felt gross, they didn't care.
I have a new one. The pier in Kona. I actually shaved my legs at the shower on the Pier. A personal best for even me. The showers are really to rinse off. The water is cold.
When leaving the house, I always took extra clothes (lesson learned last summer), the camera and shampoo and conditioner. I have never considered my curly hair fortunate, but it does make life easy in humidity - as long as proper attire isn't required. A little hair product and one is good to go.
I washed my hair. I conditioned my hair. And Al, borrowed both. Quite the site. Only, we weren't the only ones showering at the Pier.
Then, you do go inside the bathrooms to change clothes. Although, I'm not sure if anyone would have minded people changing clothes either. Maybe the tourist. Maybe not.
But we are talking about me here. And I'm not talking about clothes.
A few years ago when I had done my marathon - I told client about the marathon. Six months or so later, I get an e-mail saying he had signed up with the running group I went with to Greece and went to Ireland to run a marathon. Seriously?
We change people too. We change ourselves and those we meet along the way. We never know when something we say will influence another (both positive and negative).
We need to change. Some friends come and go - and always come back. Others stay for a bit and then move on. Or we move on. Others stay forever. We are truly lucky when someone enters our life - even for a bit.
You can thank your blessings for what has been bestowed upon you. You can be miserable because it's not the same as you want it. There is a reason. We just don't always see it.
Changing isn't about the clothes.
You can change. You can get older. You are going to do one, if you are lucky. Why not do both?
Monday, March 5, 2012
To be continued....
Hated those words.
I'm not very reliable when it comes to TV. I used to hate it when "TO BE CONTINUED" appeared at the end of a show. I KNEW I would never see the next one. OR even worse, I would see the second episode and missed the first!!
Now with DVR. "DVD sets" Hulu TV - that is never an issue. We don't have to wait any more. In fact, we can sit down and watch a whole series - not just one season. We know the ending.
In real life we don't know the ending. We don't know what will happen next. That is the joy of life. It's full of surprises. Twist and turns.
As I head back to the mainland - and the real world - not sure what will happen next. I don't know what's in store for me.
I do know I can't wait to see my sons. And sleep through the night without roosters waking me up. Life isn't waiting for me. It's there to be claimed and lived. Not wasted wanting something that isn't there.
To be continued........
I'm not very reliable when it comes to TV. I used to hate it when "TO BE CONTINUED" appeared at the end of a show. I KNEW I would never see the next one. OR even worse, I would see the second episode and missed the first!!
Now with DVR. "DVD sets" Hulu TV - that is never an issue. We don't have to wait any more. In fact, we can sit down and watch a whole series - not just one season. We know the ending.
In real life we don't know the ending. We don't know what will happen next. That is the joy of life. It's full of surprises. Twist and turns.
As I head back to the mainland - and the real world - not sure what will happen next. I don't know what's in store for me.
I do know I can't wait to see my sons. And sleep through the night without roosters waking me up. Life isn't waiting for me. It's there to be claimed and lived. Not wasted wanting something that isn't there.
To be continued........
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Paradise by the Dashboard Light
WARNING: This is a long one. Go get some tea or some wine and some tissues. You might not need the tissues. Then come back.
Kona Beer. Kona Brewing Company. Kona, Hawaii. The beer from here is best in bottles. Longboard is the best. When you open the bottle on the cap, on the inside, is a word. It's a Hawaiian word with the English translation. Truthfully, I'm not a big beer drinker.
This is almost like a "fortune cookie" of the day kinda of beer. What will is the theme of the day? What's under the cap? What will the day bring us?
Last fall, my friend Al (that summer romance that came home) came to visit in Denver. I bought some Kona beer to have on hand. We had gone hiking in Vail - my favorite hike in the world. Piney Lake. It's beautiful. It looks exactly like you think it would. Perfect.
We went on the hike and as we were getting ready to leave, we pulled over by the river to have a couple of cold beers. From the ice chest in the trunk. Our bottle caps had "HOA" and "IPO - respectively, "Friend" and "Lover" on them. A perfect description of the day. Those bottle caps sit with my beach glass on the window ledge in my kitchen. Every morning they make me smile. There is beach glass, two bottle caps and a quarter with the state of Hawaii on it. In a nice little dish.
I'm not a collector of things. To me, it's clutter. Much to my Granny's dismay - I just can't add "stuff" to my house. I'm all about the experience. I do keep memento's though.
This trip has been seen through the dashboard lights. Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Yes, the old Meatloaf song. Not sure quite why it reminds me of these two weeks, but it does. Really though, it's not the Dashboard Light - it's the bottle caps.
The feeling I feel - it's almost like a "fortune cookie" of the day! What is going to happen?
Yes, I have drank a lot of beer this trip. I've also found a lot of the bottle caps.
WEEK ONE:
Theme:
Strong - IKAIKA (i-ka i ka)
Warrior- KOA
Smart - AKAMAI
That was the theme. I decided not to drink the last beer. In my heart of heart - the bottle cap says "HOPE"
No, I don't know the Hawaiian word for Hope. I just knew it said hope. Hope is something we need to have.
The next round?
I'm on a boat. Fishing with a bunch of guys I don't know. Lance's wife suggested I go fishing. I wish she would have suggested we go "catching".
This theme:
Ocean - MOANA
Drink - INU
That works. That fits. I'm living life.
Still couldn't drink that last beer.
I bought more.
The first cap from this set?
Hooray - HULO
It made me smile. I turned the corner. I held out. I didn't drink the last beer. I waited. Hold out for what you want.
The second week is a blur. There was one moment though:
Back to the story about me pulling over on the side of the road??? Asking this man to get in the car? When we sat down at the beach - mind you I was still shaking. I look down. There is a bottle cap. It's says: Strong (IKAIKA). You can do this....
That night? After spending hours with this man - that I can't tell the whole story about YET - that I have to be patient and wait. (No, he's not married) No one is in a hurry. Do you know what the cap said????
"HOA" Friend. Of course it did.
What comes next??
To Finish - PAU
Friendship - LauLea
Dinner Party - Pa-INA
I have to go home, I'm not strong enough to sit here and have more beers with you. I'm not that strong. I don't care what the Dashboard light says.
He has to leave. He has some things to finish too......
Next round?
Wave Crest - 'ALE
Ocean - MOANA
Is this the peak? Ride the Wave??
Next Round???
Seriously, the only thing that showed up???
Reef - LAUPAPA
Reef's can be dangerous. Reefs can also be a place to wait and explore. There are some really cool things around reef's.
Still, there is one beer bottle left in the fridge. The one from the first week. The one that gave me hope.
I'm taking the bottle caps home. Every once in a while - Martha Stewart comes screaming out of me. Not too often, but every once in a while. I was ready to make a picture frame - out of bottle caps.... :-) I'm thinking now, they really need to be used as a "horoscope" of the day. Pick the one. Embrace it. Love it. And know it's okay if that's not what you were thinking. After all, I'm a girl, whom believes in Hollywood.
However, this is an independent film. Very low budget. If this were Hollywood, Neil Young would have come out and sang for us the other night......
Instead we have bottle caps. And we have one un-opened beer. The one in the fridge. The one we will leave and we will never know. We always wonder what was under that cap. I'm already thinking of what IS under the cap:
HOPE
FRIENDSHIP
I could go on and on. Although, the only cap that hasn't shown up this trip? Lover.
We will never know.....
Kona Beer. Kona Brewing Company. Kona, Hawaii. The beer from here is best in bottles. Longboard is the best. When you open the bottle on the cap, on the inside, is a word. It's a Hawaiian word with the English translation. Truthfully, I'm not a big beer drinker.
This is almost like a "fortune cookie" of the day kinda of beer. What will is the theme of the day? What's under the cap? What will the day bring us?
Last fall, my friend Al (that summer romance that came home) came to visit in Denver. I bought some Kona beer to have on hand. We had gone hiking in Vail - my favorite hike in the world. Piney Lake. It's beautiful. It looks exactly like you think it would. Perfect.
We went on the hike and as we were getting ready to leave, we pulled over by the river to have a couple of cold beers. From the ice chest in the trunk. Our bottle caps had "HOA" and "IPO - respectively, "Friend" and "Lover" on them. A perfect description of the day. Those bottle caps sit with my beach glass on the window ledge in my kitchen. Every morning they make me smile. There is beach glass, two bottle caps and a quarter with the state of Hawaii on it. In a nice little dish.
I'm not a collector of things. To me, it's clutter. Much to my Granny's dismay - I just can't add "stuff" to my house. I'm all about the experience. I do keep memento's though.
This trip has been seen through the dashboard lights. Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Yes, the old Meatloaf song. Not sure quite why it reminds me of these two weeks, but it does. Really though, it's not the Dashboard Light - it's the bottle caps.
The feeling I feel - it's almost like a "fortune cookie" of the day! What is going to happen?
Yes, I have drank a lot of beer this trip. I've also found a lot of the bottle caps.
WEEK ONE:
Theme:
Strong - IKAIKA (i-ka i ka)
Warrior- KOA
Smart - AKAMAI
That was the theme. I decided not to drink the last beer. In my heart of heart - the bottle cap says "HOPE"
No, I don't know the Hawaiian word for Hope. I just knew it said hope. Hope is something we need to have.
The next round?
I'm on a boat. Fishing with a bunch of guys I don't know. Lance's wife suggested I go fishing. I wish she would have suggested we go "catching".
This theme:
Ocean - MOANA
Drink - INU
That works. That fits. I'm living life.
Still couldn't drink that last beer.
I bought more.
The first cap from this set?
Hooray - HULO
It made me smile. I turned the corner. I held out. I didn't drink the last beer. I waited. Hold out for what you want.
The second week is a blur. There was one moment though:
Back to the story about me pulling over on the side of the road??? Asking this man to get in the car? When we sat down at the beach - mind you I was still shaking. I look down. There is a bottle cap. It's says: Strong (IKAIKA). You can do this....
That night? After spending hours with this man - that I can't tell the whole story about YET - that I have to be patient and wait. (No, he's not married) No one is in a hurry. Do you know what the cap said????
"HOA" Friend. Of course it did.
What comes next??
To Finish - PAU
Friendship - LauLea
Dinner Party - Pa-INA
I have to go home, I'm not strong enough to sit here and have more beers with you. I'm not that strong. I don't care what the Dashboard light says.
He has to leave. He has some things to finish too......
Next round?
Wave Crest - 'ALE
Ocean - MOANA
Is this the peak? Ride the Wave??
Next Round???
Seriously, the only thing that showed up???
Reef - LAUPAPA
Reef's can be dangerous. Reefs can also be a place to wait and explore. There are some really cool things around reef's.
Still, there is one beer bottle left in the fridge. The one from the first week. The one that gave me hope.
I'm taking the bottle caps home. Every once in a while - Martha Stewart comes screaming out of me. Not too often, but every once in a while. I was ready to make a picture frame - out of bottle caps.... :-) I'm thinking now, they really need to be used as a "horoscope" of the day. Pick the one. Embrace it. Love it. And know it's okay if that's not what you were thinking. After all, I'm a girl, whom believes in Hollywood.
However, this is an independent film. Very low budget. If this were Hollywood, Neil Young would have come out and sang for us the other night......
Instead we have bottle caps. And we have one un-opened beer. The one in the fridge. The one we will leave and we will never know. We always wonder what was under that cap. I'm already thinking of what IS under the cap:
HOPE
FRIENDSHIP
I could go on and on. Although, the only cap that hasn't shown up this trip? Lover.
We will never know.....
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Gypsy Soul
I'm going to generalize here. Most of us have "two lives". If not more. The one we live - daily. In and out. Then there is the life we want to lead. If we are lucky, we let the one we "want to lead" out of the closet - so to speak - every once in a while.
Or maybe not.
Maybe your life is the one you wanted. You never wondered. You never wandered. You lived your life. This is what you are supposed to want.
Maybe it's that I'm a Gemini. The twins. There are two of us.
Career Woman/Hockey Mom: No, that's only one personality. She's got it figured out. She's at the top of her game. She's knows what to do and how to do it. She's a volunteer. She's the best you can be. Mom, worker. You want something done; done right? She's the gal. Period. I'm in charge of career day next week at my kids school. The mayor of Denver is speaking. Some other really cool people too. This is how you do it. I was the number one recruiter for years when I worked for someone else. I work for myself now. She has it all. She has it all together and she makes it look easy.
My favorite saying "My boss is a real bitch, but she's good to me" :-)
This woman is in charge.
HOWEVER:
The girl (notice I've gone from WOMAN to girl???) that comes screaming out when she's been grounded for too long: Gypsy Girl
GYPSY GIRL:
She's the one we all love. The girl whom actually makes things happen. The dreamer. "Yes" is her middle name. Want to go to Kona for the summer? Want to go ________" YES. The daydream believer. For her, there is no choice. It's try or die. Either or.
In life, we put Personality #1 in charge. Thank goodness. She pays the bills.
Here are her pitfalls though: she's scared to try. She goes the way everyone else has gone. Work 40+ hours per week. Work hard and wait - you will get rewarded at the end. That's what we are told. That's how it works. The harder you work, the better person you are. The more "important" other people think you are, well, that's makes her a better person.
#2 - She's the daydream believer. She's okay with being #2. You just have to let her out every once in a while.
Really though, she should be #1. In her world, it all works out. And we know it does. She balances work, kids, freedom and life. She should be in charge.
Life would be SO much better. All that STUFF - it wouldn't matter. Not sure if the bills would get paid though. She's lovely. She's fun. Just not sure if without the other one quite how responsible she would be. Maybe she's got it in her.
Last night I told this story. I told this man - I told him the problem with all of it. Truly, the Gypsy Soul met her Soul. He got it.
And the worst part. He admitted it. He's got the gypsy soul too. His gypsy soul met his gypsy soul.
What's the quote? "You are face to face with the enemy. And it's you".
I get it. EVERYTHING. I understand EVERYTHING you are doing.
You hurt me. I explained my Gypsy Soul met her Gypsy Soul. He says "So, we're soul mates".
I think the bills will still get paid. Maybe the wrong one has been in charge.......
Or maybe not.
Maybe your life is the one you wanted. You never wondered. You never wandered. You lived your life. This is what you are supposed to want.
Maybe it's that I'm a Gemini. The twins. There are two of us.
Career Woman/Hockey Mom: No, that's only one personality. She's got it figured out. She's at the top of her game. She's knows what to do and how to do it. She's a volunteer. She's the best you can be. Mom, worker. You want something done; done right? She's the gal. Period. I'm in charge of career day next week at my kids school. The mayor of Denver is speaking. Some other really cool people too. This is how you do it. I was the number one recruiter for years when I worked for someone else. I work for myself now. She has it all. She has it all together and she makes it look easy.
My favorite saying "My boss is a real bitch, but she's good to me" :-)
This woman is in charge.
HOWEVER:
The girl (notice I've gone from WOMAN to girl???) that comes screaming out when she's been grounded for too long: Gypsy Girl
GYPSY GIRL:
She's the one we all love. The girl whom actually makes things happen. The dreamer. "Yes" is her middle name. Want to go to Kona for the summer? Want to go ________" YES. The daydream believer. For her, there is no choice. It's try or die. Either or.
In life, we put Personality #1 in charge. Thank goodness. She pays the bills.
Here are her pitfalls though: she's scared to try. She goes the way everyone else has gone. Work 40+ hours per week. Work hard and wait - you will get rewarded at the end. That's what we are told. That's how it works. The harder you work, the better person you are. The more "important" other people think you are, well, that's makes her a better person.
#2 - She's the daydream believer. She's okay with being #2. You just have to let her out every once in a while.
Really though, she should be #1. In her world, it all works out. And we know it does. She balances work, kids, freedom and life. She should be in charge.
Life would be SO much better. All that STUFF - it wouldn't matter. Not sure if the bills would get paid though. She's lovely. She's fun. Just not sure if without the other one quite how responsible she would be. Maybe she's got it in her.
Last night I told this story. I told this man - I told him the problem with all of it. Truly, the Gypsy Soul met her Soul. He got it.
And the worst part. He admitted it. He's got the gypsy soul too. His gypsy soul met his gypsy soul.
What's the quote? "You are face to face with the enemy. And it's you".
I get it. EVERYTHING. I understand EVERYTHING you are doing.
You hurt me. I explained my Gypsy Soul met her Gypsy Soul. He says "So, we're soul mates".
I think the bills will still get paid. Maybe the wrong one has been in charge.......
Just listen
The universe is talking. As I stated earlier in the blog -I need a sign - we don't always listen.
Today- and yesterday, and the day before and I'm going to even bet, tomorrow: The universe is speaking to me. And I'm listening.
I'm on the side of the road. Literally. At a "seafood market" and barbeque stand. If you have never had "poke" or Pulled Pork from Kona - you are missing out. The first, is raw tuna. Not for everyone. Last summer, my sons and I acquired a taste for it. While on the Hilo side of the island, a native Hawaiian relative said "I've never seen boys from Denver like poke like you guys like poke". The boys just smiled.
I'm in the middle of nowhere. Literally. On the side of the road. I buy my fresh tuna ($14.99 per pound - it was alive this morning). My poke. I'm waiting on my pulled pork. YUMMMMM!!!!!
I've spent all day at "Two Step". Snorkeling and reading my book. Drinking a couple of beers. Life is good.
I pick up a hitchhiker (Yes, sush now - I know, I know - I learned this from my mom). All the kids hitchhike on the island. It's actually quite fun. I've never picked up one before. He was an exchange student here to learn to farm for 6 months. He gave me a shell as a thank you. (Audience - no lecturing, I'm sure I've met guys in bars far worse for me than the hitchhiker on the side of the road). Plus, I was sober...
Sorry for the tangent.
Back to waiting for for my food. This woman has a Kona Marathon shirt on. Once again, the voice inside my head says "ask her". I'm listening.
"So, have you run the Kona marathon". "Actually, I'm the race director". me - "I have this company I'm thinking about starting - I own the website "My Athletic Adventures" I want to bring people to races. I live in Denver. Eventually, when I grown up, I want to be you." I want to RUN the race. Not run a race, but RUN it."
Seriously?
I'm in a swim suit, with a wrap on. I'm on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.
"I e-mailed you last fall. It's a long story, but I didn't know if I was coming back". Ah. And her husband says, "Now you are coming back?". Yes, Yes I am. "Here, let me give you some GU, some cards, and a free registration. Oh, and here's another race for the families that weekend. Oh, and your name is Leasa, right?"
I'm on the side of the road. In a bathing suit. In Kona. And this woman knows whom I am???
Okay, I'm listening........
Anyone want to run a race in Kona??
Today- and yesterday, and the day before and I'm going to even bet, tomorrow: The universe is speaking to me. And I'm listening.
I'm on the side of the road. Literally. At a "seafood market" and barbeque stand. If you have never had "poke" or Pulled Pork from Kona - you are missing out. The first, is raw tuna. Not for everyone. Last summer, my sons and I acquired a taste for it. While on the Hilo side of the island, a native Hawaiian relative said "I've never seen boys from Denver like poke like you guys like poke". The boys just smiled.
I'm in the middle of nowhere. Literally. On the side of the road. I buy my fresh tuna ($14.99 per pound - it was alive this morning). My poke. I'm waiting on my pulled pork. YUMMMMM!!!!!
I've spent all day at "Two Step". Snorkeling and reading my book. Drinking a couple of beers. Life is good.
I pick up a hitchhiker (Yes, sush now - I know, I know - I learned this from my mom). All the kids hitchhike on the island. It's actually quite fun. I've never picked up one before. He was an exchange student here to learn to farm for 6 months. He gave me a shell as a thank you. (Audience - no lecturing, I'm sure I've met guys in bars far worse for me than the hitchhiker on the side of the road). Plus, I was sober...
Sorry for the tangent.
Back to waiting for for my food. This woman has a Kona Marathon shirt on. Once again, the voice inside my head says "ask her". I'm listening.
"So, have you run the Kona marathon". "Actually, I'm the race director". me - "I have this company I'm thinking about starting - I own the website "My Athletic Adventures" I want to bring people to races. I live in Denver. Eventually, when I grown up, I want to be you." I want to RUN the race. Not run a race, but RUN it."
Seriously?
I'm in a swim suit, with a wrap on. I'm on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.
"I e-mailed you last fall. It's a long story, but I didn't know if I was coming back". Ah. And her husband says, "Now you are coming back?". Yes, Yes I am. "Here, let me give you some GU, some cards, and a free registration. Oh, and here's another race for the families that weekend. Oh, and your name is Leasa, right?"
I'm on the side of the road. In a bathing suit. In Kona. And this woman knows whom I am???
Okay, I'm listening........
Anyone want to run a race in Kona??
AND - she's gone
Hook, line and sinker. GONE. What kind of gone are you?
(One of my FAVORITE C&W Song)
What kinda gone are you?
Gone with the Long before it?'
Or just gone to visit your mom?
No, this time she's gone. LONG GONE. Gone = you know, the one with the heartache after it.
What's the ultimatum? There isn't one. You are a grown man. We live in an adult world. You do what you need to do. I will do what I need to do.
If you can't do it. Well, that's okay too. I COMPLETELY 100% understand. I'm not sure I could move Justin out (that's a whole other story)
No. You won't be able to move her out. Here is the ultimatum? Mover her out? Oh, come on. Security and Longevity ALWAYS win. I'm not asking for anything.
Where do we meet. Utah - safe place. It's not you - it's not me. Really we don't need to meet. It's all very simple. You make the choice. Here I am. Missing you. Here's you - missing me......
Truly, this is a low budget, made-for-TV movie, with a few Hollywood moments.
'
(One of my FAVORITE C&W Song)
What kinda gone are you?
Gone with the Long before it?'
Or just gone to visit your mom?
No, this time she's gone. LONG GONE. Gone = you know, the one with the heartache after it.
What's the ultimatum? There isn't one. You are a grown man. We live in an adult world. You do what you need to do. I will do what I need to do.
If you can't do it. Well, that's okay too. I COMPLETELY 100% understand. I'm not sure I could move Justin out (that's a whole other story)
No. You won't be able to move her out. Here is the ultimatum? Mover her out? Oh, come on. Security and Longevity ALWAYS win. I'm not asking for anything.
Where do we meet. Utah - safe place. It's not you - it's not me. Really we don't need to meet. It's all very simple. You make the choice. Here I am. Missing you. Here's you - missing me......
Truly, this is a low budget, made-for-TV movie, with a few Hollywood moments.
'
Friday, March 2, 2012
Questions & Answers
It's difficult to ask hard questions. If you ask the question, you have to be prepared for the answer. If you don't ask the question, you don't have to deal with the answer. It's called avoidance.
Things are usually worse in our heads, then they ever are out loud. We think of "what will they think" We exaggerate in our minds. My favorite thing people do is "I think, they are thinking blah, blah, blah". Let's start with this premise: We NEVER know what someone else is thinking. PERIOD. There are tons of these types of examples: Ted Bundy? The 9/11 terrorist? We would have never dreamed people had thoughts like this.
Rules for moving forward in life:
Say "yes" more than you say "no". And enjoy the day. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week, just today.
Things are usually worse in our heads, then they ever are out loud. We think of "what will they think" We exaggerate in our minds. My favorite thing people do is "I think, they are thinking blah, blah, blah". Let's start with this premise: We NEVER know what someone else is thinking. PERIOD. There are tons of these types of examples: Ted Bundy? The 9/11 terrorist? We would have never dreamed people had thoughts like this.
Rules for moving forward in life:
- Ask hard questions
- Be prepared to deal with the answers
- No matter what you WANT the answer to be, understand it is out of your control.
- Give unconditionally
- Risk it all - the answer might actually be better than you thought.
Say "yes" more than you say "no". And enjoy the day. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week, just today.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Short Version - Q&A
****Word of warning: I'm EXHAUSTED. The great incredible, wonderful type of exhausted. SO EXHAUSTED in fact, I can't think straight enough to write.
But for my adoring fans (namely my mom and my aunt) - this is this the short version of what happened today. There won't be any lessons or deep thoughts - just ramblings, until tomorrow, after I've slept. The name of tomorrows blog will be Questions and Answers, but tonight - it's the short version.
I worked
I swam
I picked up Al and we went to the most Northern Tip of the island. We passed the turn around point for the Ironman Bike Race (so I've driven it now - does that count??)
We saw more whales.
We watched the sunset at a beach I've never been to before - and Neil Young lives on end of that beach - No, he didn't come out and sing.
All is good on the island. And now you have more questions than answers......
But I must now go to sleep, for tomorrow I'm going to learn to ride this paddle board that I can't get on the truck. I must work, I must write, I must finish organizing career day for my kids school. Then it's ALoha Friday. A motorcycle ride, paddle board riding and cocktails for the sunset. Holy cow, I'm back to living on island time. I heard Denver got snow.....
But for my adoring fans (namely my mom and my aunt) - this is this the short version of what happened today. There won't be any lessons or deep thoughts - just ramblings, until tomorrow, after I've slept. The name of tomorrows blog will be Questions and Answers, but tonight - it's the short version.
I worked
I swam
I picked up Al and we went to the most Northern Tip of the island. We passed the turn around point for the Ironman Bike Race (so I've driven it now - does that count??)
We saw more whales.
We watched the sunset at a beach I've never been to before - and Neil Young lives on end of that beach - No, he didn't come out and sing.
All is good on the island. And now you have more questions than answers......
But I must now go to sleep, for tomorrow I'm going to learn to ride this paddle board that I can't get on the truck. I must work, I must write, I must finish organizing career day for my kids school. Then it's ALoha Friday. A motorcycle ride, paddle board riding and cocktails for the sunset. Holy cow, I'm back to living on island time. I heard Denver got snow.....
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