Random Strangers

Random Strangers have shaped my entire adult life.  They probably shaped parts of my earlier life, but I love when moments happen and someone leaves a mark.  They never know it.  You can never tell them.  You remember them forever.

Today.

Today was a picture perfect Colorado day.  Not a cloud in the sky.  55 degrees.  Crisp.  Leaves changing. 

I've been seeing this guy - and this was his suggestion of the day:  "Let's take a drive.  Go the changing of the trees and pack a lunch.  We'll be back in time to watch the Broncos game."  (Oh, we didn't make it back it time for the game - it was just too beautiful outside to worry about going home).

Sounds like a delightful day.

We head out.  Let's go to Estes Park.  Beautiful drive - beautiful town 2 hours and a lifetime a way.  We live in an incredible place.  There is a guard at the Stanley Hotel (you know, the one from The Shining).  I say, "tell him we are here for the wedding".  He does.  I can't look, I'm trying not to laugh.

We sit on some side steps of the Stanley Hotel and have lunch.  We have wine, wraps, fruit, nuts. A relaxing perfect afternoon.

(Looking at the pictures, we were on the first steps to your left).  Yes, I took this picture - turns out my camera has a panoramic button!!!

(Our view from the steps)

A lady walks out of the hotel and notices us on the steps.  "Look, they are having a picnic.  Aw...."

Me:  "You can join us, if you want".

Him:  "We have plenty of wine".

Her:  "Aw..... They are having a picnic.  Aw......".

No, she didn't come over.  She did make me smile.  Thank you random lady for making us smile.  I hope you are still smiling too....

Then we are in Rocky Mountain National Park.  Some roads were closed and some park rangers were out at different spots.  Not sure how, but we got on the subject of "Yogi Bear and his buddy BooBoo".  We are at this dead end, in the middle of a forest, and there is a park ranger.

Him:  "Excuse me, we are looking for Yogi Bear and BooBoo"

Park Ranger:  Pause.  Smile  "Haven't seen them in a while, but I know they are here"......

Still no bear sightings.  Lots of Elk.  Lots of tourist.  A few deer and a few rams.  Still no bear. 

Lots of random strangers making each other smile.....

"I wouldn't wish a 13 year old girl

upon anyone.  Speaking from someone whom WAS a 13 year old girl".

I've said those words, over and over and over again.

Stereotypical 13 year old girl:  hormonal, moody, hates you, angry with the world, beautiful - insecure. Wait, doesn't that really describe the whole world??

First 13 year old girl:

TIFFANY  I was 18.  She was 13.  Divorced father, little brother, dad's girlfriend is pregnant, Mom left them.  How the hell did I fall into this??

She needed me as much as I needed her.  I was a freshman in college.  I was there to baby-sit the little brother and help out around the house.  Cook dinner.  She did not want to like me.  She cried when I left.  She didn't recognize me when I showed up at her wedding 15 years later.  When she did, we both cried.  Sometimes you can leave the people you love - you know they will pick you up later.

ERIN:

My second 13 year old girl.  I've loved Erin since she was one.  How could I not love the 13 year old version of her too?  I didn't have to live with either one of these girls.  But, that's what Auntie's are for.

I took her to her first R rated movie.  I let her have her first drink of alcohol and stay up past midnight.  She had some obstacles in her life, and she didn't want me there - thinking she would disappoint me, only she should know, I would be there.  It wasn't me she wasn't letting down.  It was herself and her expectations she had, not me.  I will always love her.  No matter what.

THE BOYS:

Then God gave me boys.  THANK YOU.  For my wonderful incredible boys.  Because, after all, "I wouldn't wish a 13 year old girl upon anyone".  I was given the children I needed.

THEN I was told, ONE MORE:

You aren't done yet.  Here is another 13 year-old girl.  Beautiful, insecure, hormonal, love-struck, boy-crazy, 13 year old girl. She needs you - just as much as you need her.

I've said for years, "I wouldn't wish a 13 year old girl on anyone".

I've changed my mind.  You could only be so lucky to share this part of their life with them.. I have loved them all.  I have been very lucky.   Yes, I'm the lucky one.  The one whom warned everyone about the teenage girl. Teenagers?  YES.  In fact, give me a room full of them.  I can handle it.  All of them.  Every single one. 

They don't need me in their lives.  They want me there.  I want to be there.

Now, babies on the other hand, I'm not really good with them........

Foreshadowing

My life has been filled with a series of  "foreshadowing".  I would even go so far as to say, all of our lives are filled with events that will predict future events in our lives - only we don't always listen.

FIRST:  My first concert I remember.  John Denver.  Okay, truly, I think it was Donny and Marie Osmond, but I went with my mom. (really, I can't tell someone my first concert memory was Donnie & Marie!)  My Aunt took me to see John Denver.  She let me sit on her lap and drive down the freeway on the way home.  I couldn't have been more than 8.  John Denver, freedom and getting to do something that was fun with someone whom loved you.

Ok, if I look back - I might have been 10.  John Denver spoke about their being no snow in the mountains that year.  His daughters were complaining.  I remember it clear as the sky today.

A cousin of mine moved to Denver.  Denver?  Where is that?  

I was in maybe 9th or 10th grade and I was making some brownies.  I think it was the first time I had ever made something from a box - not scratch.  On the side of the box with the instructions:  "If you live above 3500 feet, add less flour and more water (their directions were a bit more specific)".  My first thought:  "Who the hell would live on the 36th floor of a building???" (each floor represents 1000 feet above sea level")

In 10th grade, there was a girl whom moved to my high school from Boulder, CO.  The only thing I knew about Boulder?  Wasn't Mork from Mork and Mindy living in Boulder?  Wasn't it cold there??? (and I still smile when I think that)

THEN, the biggest foreshadowing event of them all.  Landon.  Landon moved to Denver.  My mom babysit Landon and I was in love with Landon from my very first thought in life.  Of course, Landon was 8 years older than me.  He grew up and got married and moved to Denver.  Of course he did.  Where else would he move????

It's no surprise to me that I ended up in Denver.  One night sitting at Landon's kitchen table we laughed on the fact that we both ended up in Denver.  Can you believe we both live in Denver??

Landon replies:  Would we have ended up anywhere else???

He's back in Texas now.  He spent his 20 years here.  So have I.

The Locker Room Ladies

I work out at a club.  It's not a country club.  It's a workout club.  It's not 24 hour fitness.  It's not a "gym".  Well, really it is.

There are exercise machines.  Fitness classes.  Mind/Body (stretching, yoga, Pilates) classes.  There are men.  Women.  Young.  Old.  Middle aged.  Only it's not a "top of the line fitness facility" - only it's nicer than a "gym.

There are towels for you in the locker room.  The lockers lock, and you just have to slide in your membership card.    An indoor pool.  An outdoor lap pool and recreational pool, whirlpool.  Racquet and handball courts too.

In the locker room, there is also a steam room, a sauna and a whirlpool.  (One in each the men's and women's). There is shampoo, conditioner, body wash, combs, hair spray, lotion, deodorant, tissues, hair dryers and curling irons. Oh, then there is a "family" locker room.  The family locker room is where those with children under the age of 13 are banished - unless your kids are in the "Kids club".

Yes, it a little pretentious.  I've tried other clubs.  One is closer - same price.  The gyms - I just can't do.  Part of my whole "workout" is my "comfort" level.  I don't need showy things, I just like nice things. 

Truth is the classes are better at this club than others.

I like to think of my life as "just outside the A group".  No need to be on the "A List".  Too much trouble.  My club is that way.  Just outside the A group.

As with all things though, there are groups within the groups.

9:00AM classes - I refer to these classes as the "skinny mean girl classes".  Except for the pregnant woman there is Power Sculpt today, well, I was the heaviest person in the class.  The class is not welcoming.  It is cut-throat and all the women look anorexic.  It's an awesome class.  The Body Pump class the other two days a week at the same time, well is the same group of women.

However, not everyone at the club is this way.  There are also the "Locker Room Ladies".

This would be my group.  We are definitely not all anorexic looking.  Although two of my dear friends from the locker room do have bodies to die for - curvy, fit, athletic.  I have older friends, younger friends.  Married.  Kids.  No Kids.  Grand kids.  Husbands.  No husbands.

I left this club for a year.  I tried another club.  It's closer.  Same price.  Same amenities.  I hated that place.  I arrived back at my old club:  literally:  the phrase was "where have you been".  You see, I'm friends with the ladies and they know tons about me and a few are friends on facebook, but really, we are locker room friends.

My two friends with the great bodies and I chat.  No non-sense - after all, we all three work, we are in there to work-out, visit, but no chit chat.  (and if I'm going to be really honest, sometimes I just go steam and get dressed).  Tell me what's going on:

In:  So, what's going on with your social life?  You still seeing that guy??

Me:  Yes, I guess we've been seeing each other for a bit now.

In:  You mean, you are dating.

Me:  No.  Remember, I have commitment issues.  I'm seeing him.

In comes, Th

In:  Hey, L is seeing someone

Th:  Dear God, please tell me he's over the age of 30.

Me:  Actually, he's age appropriate.

Th:  What???

Me:  And he's hot.  He looks like Bradley Cooper and it's been fun.

Th:  So, do tell......

Me:  He also does this CrossFit class - he goes three times a week.  He's got an incredible body.

In:  That's why we have seeing her more lately.

Th:  Oh....   Now I know why.... I've got your number lady.......

I needed a new goal.  This is actually a healthy one.  As I sit here with my beer - I only went to one workout class today.

Diversity

My kids attend public schools.  They attend VERY GOOD public schools.  Denver Public Schools.

We live in the city.  I got as close to the suburbs as I could get.  Technically, the suburbs start across the street.  Literally.  We live on the dividing line.  In our one neighborhood, you can either go to Denver Public Schools, Cherry Creek Schools or Englewood Schools.  In fact, you walk through the "Cherry Creek Schools" portion on the way to my sons school.

Technically, they now attend two different schools.  First I'm going to start with our neighborhood school.

Actually, I'm going to back up and start at pre-school.

My sons attended a Montessori school in "Five Points" for the first five years of their lives.  Yes, daycare, pre-school and kindergarten.  All at the same school.  What a wonderful place this is.

"Five Points" is one of the more "challenged" areas of Denver.  There are shootings. There is poverty.

Half the kids were to come from outside the neighborhood.  The other half were from the neighborhood.  I couldn't have asked for a better place.  My children were loved.  Cared for.  And both were bilingual in Spanish when they hit first grade.  The had culture and diversity in their lives.

I then moved.  A whole 4 miles away.

I'm still in Denver.  I still expose my children to all that the world offers.  Only I went from Yuppy-ville to "Stepford in the City".  My thoughts:


Can't stay inner-city - only 5 years after moving the elementary school around the corner, became really good.

Can't move to the suburbs - I can't play the game.  I don't care what you have.  What someone else has.  Or doesn't have.  (Of course, I've never lived there - this is my perception) I'm here to make this world a better place.

My compromise - I live in Denver.  My kids attend the best Denver school there is.  Hands down.  It wasn't "the best" when we got here.  It is now.  We are about to win a "Blue Ribbon Award" - a national award.  A national award several DPS (Denver Public Schools) have been nominated for - I don't think any elementary/middle schools have received.

Truly though, this is how I imagine the suburbs.  We are truly "Stepford in the City".  It's the parents that run this school.  Honestly though, I think in suburbs (once again, just my opinion since I don't live there), they let the "school" run itself.  Yes, they are involved, but the "establishment" knows best.  At our school, there is over an 82% participation rate in activities.  Seriously?

The EDUCATIONAL system will NEVER change unless the parents are involved.  Period.
We can't make people want to be involved.

Back to the school  It's a great, incredible, wonderful school.  It's small.  50 kids per grade.  One grade has 75 kids.  Everyone is white, upper-middle class.  We live in the city.

Wait!!  Isn't the whole purpose of living in old houses to provide the parents with easy access to the city (a life outside our kids and easy to get things with our kids) to show them what city living is all about?

I guess not.

This sums the diversity we have experienced at our school:

Two Asian girls - both adopted and living with white families.
Two "inter-racial" families.
A couple of foreign adoptions
A couple of kids with ADD
Two kids with two moms - whom should be the poster parents for all parents.  Period.
Some of the parents are divorced.


Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.  This has been their exposure  to the "world". 

Which brings us up in time.  Until today.

I now have a high schooler.  In the state of Colorado, you can "choice" into any high school you want.  Not everyone gets in (unless that is your "home" school).

He attends a high school in "downtown" Denver.  Okay, so not RIGHT DOWNTOWN, but "in the city".  Literally, "in the City".

We are back to:  half the kids are, as I lovingly refer "over-indulged white kids" (although they aren't all white) the other half:  well, we live in the city.

There is a girl in one class whom has 8 brothers/sisters and her mom is 30.  There are 4 different dads.   A kid in one class is a freshman and has a tattoo.  There are piercings.  There are kids whom can't afford food.  The school gives away breakfast everyday.  Side note:  even though my child eats breakfast at home everyday, he goes and grabs a free burrito.  Keeps saying how happy he is with his school.  This is a big adjustment.  For all of us.

He's a little more skittish these days.  He locks the door between the garage and the house.  He's seen a couple of fights where the police have to come.   I have a glass of wine every night.  He doesn't want me to have any wine.  (I immediately fall asleep - he wants me alert).  He rides the city bus home from school.

He wanted to attend this school.  His teachers are incredible.  I've been very impressed.  He's impressed.  I'm not impressed that all your friends are still "over-indulged white boys"    He's right where he is supposed to be.

I told him:  "This is the real world".  Learn to play the game.  He can't believe you can graduate with high school with a "d". 

He said today in the car (he is a bit dramatic, btw) "I've just never been around something so different".

My response:  You don't have to like it.  I hope you will.  I hope you understand not everyone is like you or likes the life you live. 

He said:  You know what I have noticed?  It seems the people without "money" have really nice "stuff".  And I think I have money, but I don't have those things.

Me:  They have things that won't matter later.

Him:  The people with things, think things matter.  We don't think "things" matter.  Only people matter.



Maybe I'm doing okay.......

Conversation Topics

Many of my stories come from people I know.  Only I change names and embellish, but the "ideas" aren't always mine. 

This topic, I will disclose, was not my idea, but I do think it's a great idea.  We have all been in situations where we start talking to someone new or someone we work with whom we don't know well or someone else's friend THEN we have to make a conversation. 

Standard conversation topics:

• The weather?
• Local current events?
• What do you do?
• How long have you lived here?
• Blah, Blah, Blah

We now have new conversation starters and some new answers to the above questions:

• I'm a Zamboni driver - what do you do for a living?
• Did you hear that Mike & Ike broke up?
• What is your favorite holiday?
• I'm training for .............. (just fill in the blank) - it doesn't matter, if you are training or not, it will start a conversation.  Which brings us to all the things we could actually train for in life:

I'm training :

• to be the worlds slowest quilter
• to qualify to be on "The Biggest Loser"
• for an Ironman Triathlon
• to be a speed reader
• my mouth not to talk so much
• to be a Hula Hoop expert
• to enter the Olympic Curling event.

Go for the shock.  It doesn't matter if it's true or not.  The other person will either have a fun conversation with you.  Or you will know this person can't handle a conversation with you, and move on.

Someone will converse with you. 

Pregnant & Cheating

I received a "Spam" e-mail this week from the house owners in Hawaii.  The original trade house, not Joe's house.  From here on out the first house will be referred to as "the house owners".  The second summer house will be "Joe's house". 

There were only 10 of us whom received the "link to riches".  I let her know she had been "attacked".  We caught up via e-mail - she sent a really nice e-mail to all of us whom had received her "spam".  She thought it was the universe's way of telling her she needed to reach out to some people.  Made me smile.

They are doing well.  They are trading the house over the Christmas holiday's for a couple of weeks in  NYC.  Their son and daughter-in-law live in NYC.  I've heard it's beautiful in NYC over the holidays. I knew they were thinking of doing this.  She said she hopes these "traders" are as great as us and the boys. 

I'm not really the jealous type, just more of the possessive type.  What?  You are trading my house?  Yes, I do realize it's really your house. Yes, I realize I let someone else come live in your house here in Denver this summer, but really?  You are going to cheat on me and let someone else live in our house???? I should have known.  If you would trade with me, OF COURSE, I'm not the only one out there willing to trade.  I'll get over my jealously.  I'll forgive you that you are cheating.  Secretly hoping the whole time, you really will like us better. 

THEN, just when I was about to want to break up with you forever Hawaii house owners, you went and saved the best for last.

The daughter whom had the wedding.  Whom caused the house swap in the first place.  Well, she's having a baby next spring.  The boys had wanted her to have a baby "every summer" so we could keep going back. 

I told her, NEVER in the history of the universe (and I could state this with certainty) that no two boys will have EVER been so excited to hear someone was pregnant.

There are no plans yet for next summer.  Get through Christmas first.  Of course, Joe's house hasn't sold yet.  They can go cheat on us..... 

Who knows, we might have two houses to watch next summer......