Snooze

For the alarm setters of the world, I've determined there are two types of people:

Those whom set an alarm for a certain time, when the alarm goes off, they wake up

 Those whom set an alarm for an early time, so they can "snooze" their time away until they wake up.

Which type are you?

I'm a recovering snoozer.  I was a snoozer once upon a time.    I remember my dad had this clock on his bedside table.  It was gold, round, battery operated.  It had this tiny little button that turned the alarm off.  There was no "snooze" option. I SO remember asking him how he didn't fall back asleep.  He answered, "you just wake up".  This made NO sense to me.  No sense at all. For years. I was young when I discovered this (elementary school age).

Yes, I set an alarm for years.  I was scheduled.  Programmed.  Reactive.  Reactive to society. Reactive to the way you are supposed to live your life.  Alarm goes off, hit the snooze.  Sleep another ten minutes.  Then get up.

Then the logical Leasa somehow woke up.  Literally.   

Now?  I don't even have a clock in my room, much less an alarm. I'm a recovering alarm clock addict! 

For some reason, I just wake up.  Granted, we have a corner house.  There is a window open year round.  I think it's the traffic patterns.  Yes, I do set my phone alarm - if I HAVE to be some place.  Otherwise, I just seem to get there.  On time. Truly though, I'm always laying there in bed when the "phone rings"

Duncan, Carolyn and Joellen are all "snoozers".  Really?  Just set your alarm for 30 minutes later, then you can enjoy those 30 minutes. No.  Oh, no.  They love their snooze button.  Joellen snoozes for at least an HOUR.  Seriously?

I get why we are all friends.  Still not sure how Duncan is my son.  I get up, get the world running - they need their rest, they then have to spend the rest of the day keeping up with me.

Driving

I don't really like to drive.  I live confined within a 6 mile radius.  My life is just fine within this radius.  I don't understand it when people commute 40 or so minutes to work every day.  That's almost two hours in the car - round-trip! LOTS of people commute, every single day.

Just not my thing.  I would be the PERFECT person, to live in a little village, owning a scooter and a bike.  You know, the kind with a basket on the front (yes, both the scooter and the bike) with fresh flowers and food in the basket. 

Road trips.  Road trips are good for about 6 hours.  I can make it seven or eight.  Anything more than that, well, I'd rather fly.  I've done all this.  Well, if it's over 8 hours, I guess I could ride a bus or a train, but I don't want to drive.

I'm a HORRIBLE parallel Parker.  Once upon a time, I owned a Mazda Miata.  I could park that thing anywhere.  Any place.  After that - well, not so much.  Side note, I drive one in Hawaii - I can still park that thing.  Although, the guy I'm working with?  He owns this truck - I'm determined to learn to parallel park it.  If I can park that, I can park anything.  I've only driven it once.

Which brings me to my oldest son receiving his learners permit on Friday.  I've determined it would just be better if I shut-up and shut my eyes.  If he's going to wreck, well, he's going to wreck.  Actually, he's not going to wreck, he's going to side-swipe a car.  I'm just closing my eyes.

Yelling at him - scratch that - I'm not a yeller.  Besides it's not going to help.  It's just making me nervous.  It's making me want more wine. 

Granted, he could have received his permit 6 months ago.  He finally made up his mind.  He completed the online written portion last week.  He now has his permit.  He hasn't been in a hurry.  Everything, so far, I'm fine with.  In fact, as much as I'm ready for him to drive himself places, if he's not comfortable, well, I'm not pushing him.  I get it.  I don't like to drive either.  I like my bike.

For now, I just close my eyes.  Hold my breath.  Drink more wine (outside of the car.  Although, I'm thinking a wine bottle in the car would be great!).  And hold on.  After all, I've always been about the ride.  And usually, the ride has nothing to do with driving.

Nowhere

Is that one word or two?  No and where?  Yes.  It's two words, but then it is one word.  The English language is very confusing.  Or maybe it's just me.

Where are you going?  Nowhere.  What are you doing?  Nothing.  Whom are we meeting?  No one in particular.

One word or two?

"No" is a universal word.  Every language understands the word  "NO".  I guess we do all have something (or should that be "some thing") in common.  "Where" is a location.  "Wear" is what you have on.  Where is not only a location, but a place.  "Where are you?" 

Not there. Not here.  A place other than here?  I'm there.  (Don't even get me started on THERE"S or is it THEIRS?)

This weekend Duncan and I went to the mountains with some friends.  I had no cell service, no internet and no communication with the outside word for 4 days, 3 nights. 

First, let me tell you what I missed.  Nothing.  That I know of. 

Second,  I was cold.  High of 70's during the day.  The dogs water on the land would freeze at night.  There were Elks and Coyotes telling us hello.  Beautiful country.  Beautiful space.  Just a break in the middle of the mountains.  In middle of this great beautiful state.

I'm tired of being cold.  There was wind.  It's almost June.  Please, please, can I just complain about the heat for ONE day?  (I know, I know - be careful (or is that becareful) what you wish for....)

I was walking the land with my music on - Sunday afternoon.  My phone/ipod beeped at me.  Seriously, I'm in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a peaceful moment and my phone beeps.  Peter Pan's text stated "I'm sorry I didn't get to see you."  He didn't get to see me.  I'm in a place where no one can get to me, but he did.  No one in the middle of nowhere, got to me.

The thing is...

she just likes me as the older brother.  She's like a baby sister.  Do you know what I mean?  No, I don't have a crush on her.  Besides, my brother is the one in love with her. I'm the big brother.

What do think will happen this summer?  How do you think it's going to be?  This summer I'm going to:  Live life.  Enjoy my time in Hawaii. I'm going to win the Jr Lifeguard competition, and I'm going to Maui.  I've been so lucky for the things and moments I"ve had in my life  The one thing I can guarantee you is that the sun always comes up. And what I realize is that not everyone has these moments.  There are "snaps" in life.

"Snaps":  a change.  Immediate response.  I changed from a way I used to think the way things were going to turn out.

The greatest things about snaps?  Well, they let you know where they are.

We don't know what's going to happen.  We expect the unexpected.  Something that is never going to happen.

If there was a book to be named after you, what is the name of the  book:  "Challenging, Wrong Answer".  My entire life, even when I knew I was wrong, I challenged the wrong answers.  Even if I knew I was wrong.  I knew better than to let it go - just for one more day.
'
I'm just thankful that my mom was crazy enough to make exploring something I couldn't only hoped to.  Maybe next time. . 

I know you love you me.  I know you hate me.  I know there is a Bing Video changing others lives.  I'm here to tell you , my my mom tried.  She might have been wrong, she might have been right, but she willing to take the chance.

That's the thing....

(love, Duncan)

The story of us

My name is Harper, I'm 32.  I'm married and have two young kids.  My best friend, her name is Carson.  She's getting divorced this summer.  You really shouldn't be jealous when your best friend gets divorced.

That's the first paragraph of my book.  Only, it's not really a paragraph.  Just a couple of sentences.  It really doesn't tell you anything.  It's not supposed too.  The point is to make you want to read more.

If I read the first two lines above, I would want to keep reading.  If you haven't read "The Glass Castle", by Jeanette Walls, you should.  The first page of this book, made me want to keep reading.  It started out with a woman in a limo looking out the window watching a homeless woman digging through the trash.  Only, it took a few minutes for her to realize it was her mother digging through the trash (the rest you have to read..)  The story brought you in, and told you their story.  Even though it was non-fiction, it was their story.

Which brings me to the story of us.  Which story you ask?  Where do I even begin? Which one?  The one of my elementary school friend whom I still keep in touch with? Whom runs snow cone stands in Texas.  By the way, we didn't like each other in 5th grade.  Good thing we got over that.  I couldn't have asked for a better friend to help me with my grand-father's funeral.  She was there for all of it.

Were you talking about the story of me and my kids?  Isn't that what this blog was supposed to be about?  The adventures of me and my sons.  The journeys.  The adventures.  The highs and the lows. 

Were you talking about the story of::

• How I met an incredible running buddy from a Craigslist ad. Wait make that two running buddies.  And our friendship
• How I swapped my house in Denver for one half way across the world?
• A summer romance.  Learning that hearts still ache, no matter how old you are.   Or how many times it's been broken.  
• Letting time heal everything.  Everything.  
• Carson and Harper have their first beer together.  Forging a friendship that would last through it all.
• A children's romance.  You know, the type where you just write in the sand that persons name.
• Meeting a random stranger at the airport.  Then knowing you couldn't live without this person.
• Letting go.  Make that holding on.  Not knowing if it would be better to hold on or let go.
• On and on and on.

Peter Pan came to visit last weekend. Only, he didn't come to visit me.  He wanted to visit.  I gave him times.  Opportunities.  Chances.

For whatever reason, this is how we work out. Almost there.  Not really.  Can't let you go.  Yet can't hang on. Were you talking about the story of you and me?  You know the story.  They always end the same.

It's been along time since we weren't nice to each other.  I was busy.  There were many things going on  We were both busy. He didn't make the time either.  I wasn't a priority in his life.  We didn't get to see each other.  When it was safe, he sent me a text "I'm sorry it didn't work out"

I replied: "I guess that's just our story" 

It is the story of us.


 

Career Day

Today was a bittersweet day for me.

Today, I was in charge of Career Day at my youngest sons school.  The same school he and his brother attended from first grade until now.  My oldest finished last year.  My youngest finishes in two weeks. 

This is a K-8 Denver Public School.  This school originally opened in the 50's.  The same time as all the houses in the area were built.  This area of town was considered "South East Denver", now well, it's just part of Denver.  After many years, the school closed.  The "original" kids were grown and gone.  The parents were still living in the neighborhood.  Not many kids for an elementary school. There were five families on our block with kids at the same school when we moved in.  Everyone else was over the age of 75.

The school became an administration building.

About 15 years ago, the neighborhood united and asked for the school to re-open for the neighborhood.  A "test school" so to speak.   Junior Highs/Middle Schools are notoriously bad across the country.  What does one do with the middle schoolers?  Too young for high school.  The schools with just "middle school" - can't find a positive one to say about many of them.  Let's try this:  Let's make it a K-8 school.

The school re-opened.  15 years later, this school is the #1 DPS school.  A few years ago, some of the smaller middle schools were trying to get DPS to move the "middle school" out of the school to help give them students.  "Allowing for more room for elementary students.  As the superintendent for DPS said at the time:  "Why would we disrupt and change our most successful school model?"

I call it my "public/private school".  Yes, it's mostly over-educated, upper-middle class parents and kids.  If the kids of the "really wealthy" have it even better, it's hard to imagine what THEIR lives are really like.

The parents are over involved.  Although, this "next generation" of parents aren't near as involved as we have been.  Which actually is kind of scary.  The school didn't get to be the best without all the parents volunteering.  People now move into the neighborhood to get their kids into the school.  Only they "don't have the time" to volunteer.  Parents of the next group of kids, let me tell you something, "I DON"T HAVE TIME EITHER".  But, I made the time.  I found the time.  Other parents did too.  Working parents.  Stay at home parents.  The school didn't just become the best.  We made it happen.

Of course, when the kids are young, they WANT you at the school.  They want you to help out.  Until about 4th grade.  They will want you there then, but not as much.  Then every year you become needed/wanted just a little bit less.

Field trips, "book clubs", auction committees, bake sales, cake walks, fundraisers.  A little bit of everything.  It's been great. You can say what you want about public education, but until the parents/community are involved in each and every school, nothing will change.

And today was my last volunteer activity for this incredible school.

Don't get me wrong - it's not a perfect place.  There are politics amongst the faculty, the parents, the kids.  There are cliques. It's a normal place.

 An incredible place. A building that kept my children safe.  Teachers whom taught my children.  A couple that didn't like my boys.  A few whom loved them.  People whom cared.  A community of parents, teachers, faculty whom helped me raise my boys.

I was in charge of Career Day last year.  The mayor came to speak.  Plus many other incredible speakers.  I arranged it all.  Then said, that's it, I'm done.  "Please, please, just once more", they asked.  "Okay, I will line up the keynote speaker and handle the start.  You have to find someone else to do the rest".

It's been my only volunteer activity at school this year.  I have been SO done.  I couldn't have pulled it off without help, but it's done.  And, yes, it was great.  All of it.

The last few times I've the left the school, my eyes have teared up. 10 years of my life have been spent in this building, with these people.  I've NEVER done anything for this long of a period.

Today though, after I hugged the office ladies good-bye, I quietly just slipped out the side door being thankful for it all.

Hope

Hope can be a bitch.  She's evil.  She will convince you - even when you KNOW better - that there "might be a chance".  No matter what the situation.

If you ever watched "Two and a Half A Men", she is the character "Rose".  She is charming.  She's funny.  She's a stalker.  She's fun.  You want to be friends with her.  At least for a few minutes, then you realize you are slipping into a vortex.  The only problem is you don't WANT to leave.  For all the reasons above. You want to be with the fun, charming, adventurous one.  And she's a little crazy.  Even for your standards.

But Hope makes friends with you.  You just can't help it.  Why wouldn't you be friends with her?  Only she reels you in and tells you everything will work out just like you "hoped" it would.  And you believe it.  Then when you are so mad at yourself, you try and end the friendship.  Only you try to be mad at her, only it's YOU that upsets you.  YOU come to terms with your friendship with Hope.  It calms down.  You realize you are "occasional" friends.  It's okay, because you both understand your friendship.  It's all good.

Then she introduces you to her cousins:  Potential, Wish, Want, Would Like.  See, all the "thoughts" are the same - "I wish I was thinner.  He has the potential to be better.  I want to be thinner.  I would like to travel". And instead of concentrating on what we do have in this world, we focus on Hope and her cousins.  Why wouldn't we?  They will come around.  We KNOW it.  They are our friends.

But see, Hope and her cousins have a secret.  They won't ever tell you what I'm about to tell you.  It's the real secret.  They keep "their secret" a secret.  Hope has a twin.  Only Hope is the evil twin.

Faith is Hope's twin. 

Faith has been large and small.  She understands her size fluctuates.  Faith doesn't want to be your friend.  She understands you don't talk to her for a while.  She's a bit of a recluse.  She's okay with that.  She's loyal.  She doesn't even need you to say thank you.  She just wants you to remember, when her sister Hope has beat you up and down, well, she will still be there.

We so want to rush things, so we turn to Hope, Wish, Want, Potential and Would Like.  Forgetting all the time, we are friends with Faith and her friend Believe.