The Crying Game

The good-bye's have begun.

They started on Tuesday.  A couple of people from the paddling group were leaving.  They said good-bye to us.  Or rather "see you next summer".  I tried not to let my eye's water.  I'm not sure if it worked.

Yesterday, I had driven to the drugstore, to get chips and candy for the kids.  They were waiting for me in the shade.  We had determined that the ice cream truck wasn't going to come today.  It's near the end.  Why not?  What's better than chocolate and chips and candy on a hot summer day?  I was on my way back to the beach.  The store is approximately 2 miles from the beach.  My eyes watered up the whole way back.

We stayed to night swim after the sunset.  I had "glow in the dark" bracelets for the kids.  Fun to see them play near the shore and their wrist and necks (because of course you can join them and make necklaces).  My eyes didn't water, but the melancholy feeling overtook me.

What a great wonderful lucky person I am.  This summer has been incredible.  I truly love this place.

I asked the kids "I wonder if we were only here for two weeks, if the tears would start with so much time still left?".  We determined probably not.  Although, the boys are use to me - they said I wouldn't cry until the end.  I think the girls thought - she'd probably cry the whole time she was here.

This morning we said good-bye to the local girl.  We might see her on Monday, but she's gone with Lily to the other side of island for the weekend and school starts on Monday.

But first, we all went paddling.

Like everything else in life, I can't help but immerse myself.  Today - in our canoe, I had 5 of the 12 participants.  Duncan was steering.  Lily was calling, I was stroking, L & Nolan were helping the new people on the boat with how to paddle.  I couldn't help but smile.  I couldn't help but have tears in my eyes as we paddled back to shore.

Saying good-bye to our paddling friends was easier than I thought.  It was more of a "See you next summer"  once again, plus I was ready for it.

We went to the farmers market on our way home - everything seemed a bit brighter and tasted better - even more so than it had all summer.  Our one guy had our fresh macadamia nut basil pesto fresh pasta ready for us.

We made pancakes.  The girls braided my hair.  The girls recorded the boys singing silly songs.  The girls said good-bye to the house.  We took them home.

The tears are in check.  I'm really trying to savor these last few days.  Enjoy every single moment and not worry about the sadness that will follow.  As they are really not tears of sadness, but joy.  Crying for how fortunate we all have been.

I need a shower

We shower at the beach.  We shower when we get out of the hot tub. 

I wash my hair at both or either locations.  If you shower at the beach, the showers are outside of the restrooms.  In other words, co-ed and very public.  Needless to say, you shower with your swimsuit on. 

If I shower at the beach, then I usually rinse off at the house to get rid of the rest of the sand. 

Also, as mentioned earlier this civilization is a bit of "lost paradise".  We are dirty.

As in Duncan informed me he's only washing his hair once a week.  It is wet everyday. 

Lily's hair has a knot in it - I think that combs out.  My hair on the other hand?  It also has a knot in it.  And I'm not sure if there isn't something living in my hair.  Curls are nice, most of the time.  I'm beginning to think I'd kind would like only wavy hair. 

I'm not sure when Nolan is washing his hair.  Although Nolan does put on fresh clothes at least once a day.  Duncan informed me he hasn't worn underwear this entire trip.  I don't think I needed to know that.  Sorry, I thought you might need to know that.  (smile!)

So tonight after the beach, I took a real shower.  One that include a dry towel, hair shampoo, conditioner and a razor! I feel like a new woman.  I even got the brush through the hair.  Ahhhh...

I'm clean, but I'm betting there is still sand in my hair.

DNL

When I started this blog, I wasn't sure how to start.  I wasn't much of a writer, I'm not sure I even enjoyed writing.

What I wanted was a record of my adventure with my sons on our first house swap to Hawaii.  Only I didn't know it was going to be a "first".  Well, I knew it was my first, but not the "first" of something. 

What do I name the blog:  DNL Summer Adventures.  DNL - the first letter of our first names. Only, when I created the blog, I typed in dnlSUMERadventures.blogspot.com .  Me, of all people, misspelled summer.  I only put in one M.  It only took me over a year to realize there were not two M's in my summer.  And quite honestly, I'm not sure how I figured it out.

Then as I kept writing, I removed the word "Summer" from the title, but had to leave it in the web address.  The blog became titled DNL Adventures.  The adventures of a divorced mother and her sons.

Truly, these are my adventures, with my perspective.  Although, the D & N do contribute on a non-regular basis.

But, I was writing a note to a friend today and went to refer to the kids as DNL (Duncan, Nolan and Lily).  I then realized I knew something before I knew I knew it.

It may have been me whom started them on this crazy journey, and yes, this is my blog.  But, the real story will one day be the adventures of those three.  If it's not already.

 

Fire pit

We have a fire pit in the front yard.  Yes, I know, most people have them in the back yard.  This yard is more of a wrap around lawn, so the fire pit is in the front yard.

It's a great fire pit.  There is a gas line, so you can get the fire going with propane, then shut off the propane and let the wood burn.  The best of both worlds.

Six chairs around the fire.

Tonight the teenage girls were over for hot dogs and s'mores.  My stomach hurts.  Roasted marshmallows are great, just make you feel a bit full later.

Some cute things about the fire pit:

• It's much like a campfire
• Stories are told
• Food is dropped into the fire
• Marshmallows are burned
• Bugs still bite
• Smoke gets in your face
• It's a nice way to relax
• The teenagers don't understand the irony of playing the song "Summer Nights" from Grease.  They still think it's just a song from Grease.
• They totally forget that I'm actually the grown-up

And the cutest thing:

• These teenagers are still kids - after all, "I dropped my wiener" makes them laugh until they cry - on the first time and on the 50th time.  

Convenience

It's nice when things are near.  They are convenient.  Easy to get to.  Make life easy. 

I tend to exist within a four mile radius of my house.  Both houses, that is.  The stores I do shop in (I'm not a big shopper - most people whom are big shoppers, just by things they don't need), are close.  The restaurants I like are near.  My friends also live close.  Except of course for the ones whom live across the country and world.  Although with technology now, you don't realize friends live so far apart.

Speaking of friends, I would hate to also think my friends were only my friends because they were convenient to me.  Yes, there are local friendships - those people you know at the stores, or you have drinks with because you all live near each other.  But true friends, they know no matter where you live, you are friends.  I see Carolyn at least 3 times a year - she lives in Houston.  I would also hate to think that one of my friends whom live far away was so needy that they think we aren't really friends because we don't see each other but once a year.  I don't have friends like that.

The kids friendships from the summer will live on.  Now they have Facebook, SnapChat, Instagram - these kids are connected throughout the year.  Even if they don't get to see each other they know they will always be friends. 

Sometimes life isn't convenient.  Life can separate you from the ones you love.  But instead of just going with what's convenient, remember it's okay to drive/bike/fly out of your radius to be with whom you really love.

I'd hate to think I had missed out on the best restaurant in town, because it took a little extra effort.  I'd also hate to think I was hanging out with mediocre people in just "ok" places just because it was convenient.  I would have missed so much in life.

How many summers?

How many summers are you going to do this?

I've been asked this question before.  And by this, they mean swap my house in Denver for the house in Kona.

The same answer has always been my reply:  "For as long as I can".  Meaning for as many summers as they want to switch.  Each summer becomes a bit longer of a trade.  It would even be okay if the trades became a little shorter, as long as we get to come over.

Two days ago though I was asked this question again.  "How many summers are you going to do this?"  This was asked by one of the local girls whom is friends with Lily.  The one whom has had some problems.  I had her at the house with just me the other day.  A few hours of me working, her working on a puzzle.  The other kids were off with Lily's dad running.

I realized though most of her problems are not her fault.  It's not her fault she hasn't been raised well.  She doesn't have good role models.  That's not her fault.  I think she is finally realizing it though.  She is now becoming aware of what she doesn't have.

The other night at dinner, I told her to do a couple of things.(put your knee down at the table, and no I won't braid your hair at a restaurant).  She helped me pack the cooler and make lunches.

And today, while she was off with Lily at the beach, she wanted to know why they weren't seeing me.  Not the boys, but me.  I guess it's true, children do crave discipline.

She has matured.  I'm still unsure my level of trust with her, as she has tended to lie about things.  The lies were little and stupid and last summer.  So far this summer, she's been honest with me.  And I now realize others lie to her, so she has learned this is normal behavior.

While people may have misbehaved in the past, people do learn to do things better.  I also know how to forgive.

She's the one whom asked me last "How many summers do you plan to do this?" A different answer was uttered,  I answered "One".   She looks at me funny and says "Huh?".  "I only planned to do this one summer.  I didn't know my whole life was going to change and this was my new old way of life." 

She replies, "You have to keep coming back.  You are my "white summer mom", and us kids are supposed to grow up together".

I think she is maturing.  I think Lily's friend will be okay.  I think the kids (I guess I have four now) are already growing up together. 

Paddling

Rowing and Paddling are two different things. 

First, paddling is not hitting.  When I hear the word "paddle", I used to think, of a child being punished.  "If you don't behave, you are going to get a paddling".  Of course, now, the adult would go to jail for "paddling a child".

Rowing is a different instrument.  Also, a different type of stroke.  By stroke, I mean what you do with the instrument in your hand. 

Yes, it is a paddle - there are different types of paddles. Steering or stroking.  Wood or fiberglass.  T-grip or palm.  Different lengths too. 

You want to sit in a chair, reach your arm straight up in the air, put your hand around the top (t-grip or palm) and have the shaft sitting on your knee.  Then your paddle is the correct length.

If you are in a double canoe - there are 12 people.  A single canoe - 6 people.  You stroke 14 times on one side.  Someone is a "caller" they count the strokes.  On the 13th stroke, the caller says "Hut".  The entire crew replies "HO" at the start of the next stroke,  then you change sides.  The stroking on the other side of the canoe.

There is a "stroker"  This is the person whom everyone else follows.  The person that sits in the first seat on the boat.  Everyone "enters" the water with their paddle at the same time. Everyone stroking at the same time.

There are different "drills" you can do.  For example, the person whom is steering, may say "Ok, on the next switch, give the first 5 strokes 100%, then 80% for the rest.  Do this for two sets."  Meaning, stroke as hard as you can for the first five times (not faster, but more strength), then 80%, then switch sides and do it again."  Then on each side one more time.

We go to the "recreational" paddling group.  Which means we paddle for 1.5 miles (20 or so minutes), then hang out and swim for a bit, then paddle back.

I've "paddled".  I've called.  I've even stroked. 

I'm the youngest one there most of the time.  There are first timers, there are those whom have been paddling for years.  There were a group of tourist hotties there a few weeks ago.  A cute guy my age was there the other day too (I'm hoping he is back tomorrow!)
 
Then of course, there is my entourage.  For two weeks, the boys didn't go.  There was life guarding.  Their days were pretty full.   I either went by myself or with Mary down the street. Now, well there is me.  My neighbor Mary (whom is in her late 50's) is gone to the mainland for a month - her cousin, Donna, is staying at her house.  Donna had a daughter and son-in-law here (they came with us on Tuesday).  But Thursday, I have me, my 70 year old neighbor's cousin and 3 teenagers. 

Are we going paddling?  This is our conversation everyday.  I will pick up Donna - she offered to drive, but well, we have to go get the girl.  She said she would drive.

So tomorrow,  I will drive.   Leave the house at 5:45am Pick up my neighbors cousin (at 6).  Pick up my summer daughter (at 6:10) then go paddle.  Me and my entourage.

Not sure when you had people begging you to pick them up at 6 am, but I have a group of them.  My tribe may not look the way I thought it would, but we are one loyal tribe.  Following each other one paddle at a time.