Monday, December 9, 2013

What you wish

I'm a true believer in putting out to the "universe" what you want.  Your "universe" might be God or a God or several Gods.  Your "universe" might be your friends.  You might be strong enough to "think about want you really want a lot", then it comes true.

What is the difference between WANTING and BELIEVING?  Believing you will one day get what it is that you have been wanting.  Do you just believe it?  And at what point does wanting become believing?

It's a fine line.  I read the book "The Secret"  What about all those things we REALLY believed were ours, and if we just believed it for long enough, it would come true?

What happens when it DOES come true?  Your wish is fulfilled?  We all finally have want we have wanted for years.

Is it okay to say we no longer want it?  It wasn't really him/her/it/the watch/the trip and on and on.  We became addicted to the "wanting".  Not sure if we really wanted what we were wanting, we were just so used to "wanting it", we didn't know how to survive "not wanting it"

Peter Pan is moving back to Denver.  Supposedly.  I've heard this before.

For some reason, it seems different this time.  He's really coming back.  Be careful for what you wish, it just might come true.

Only now, I'm not sure what to do.  It's been on again.  Off again.  When do I get to see you again?  I never want to see you again. I don't even know if we still like each other.  We just don't know how to go on, not "wanting" each other.

It's funny, when Lily's dad told me he was getting back together with his on again/off again love, I completely understood.  How could you NOT finally give it a chance? The stars were aligned, it was YOUR time. 100% I got it.

When I told Peter Pan the story, he understood too.  But could we actually say good-bye to each other?  We both agreed yes. In theory. We also both agreed, you have to go after the one whom set your heart racing, the way we set our hearts racing.  We will always love each other.  He will always be the one whom helped me save me.  But sometimes, that is all it will ever be.  And for that, I love him even more.  I always will.

With Peter Pan - I always thought he'd be the one I'd fight anyone for.  The one I would give up everything.   But I realized, I don't have to risk it all for him.  There is nothing to risk - that was all in my head.  He will always be there for me.  The love of my life.

He's not the one whom held me close.  He's the one, whom set me free..

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