The next steps in the journey can be found here......... Should Have learned This
Friday, March 28, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Parting Gifts
Tomorrow, "our house" in Hawaii is officially sold. I mean, it wasn't really "our house", but for 17 actual weeks of our life plus 3 years of thinking it was our house. It has been our Hawaii house.
The couple has decided it's time to come to the mainland. Even though, they have lived there for 40 years. It was time for something new. It was time for a new adventure.
For now, they are headed here. To Denver. To "their Denver house".
They are here, while we are gone. One final swap. Only we aren't headed to Hawaii, we are headed on our next adventure. Keeping them as part of us, yet starting something new.
We spoke on the phone today, I was explaining how the heater worked. As their house has no heat and they haven't stayed in their Denver house during the winter. I explained, I keep the heat on low, but I sleep with the bedroom window open. Feel free to adjust the heat.
"Of course, it could be 70 during the day - or Denver could get 4 feet of snow." She replies, "We are hoping for 70". "Are you sure you guys know what you are doing coming back to have winter again?", I say. She says, "I know, I know, we have said that.". We discuss the keys - where to leave them, the return home and how we will handle the final car exchange.
They are going to head East on the day I return. Not quite sure to an exact location yet, but a new direction. They will leave my car at the airport, texting me the location, locking the other keys in the car. I will take my extra key.
Tonight as we finished cleaning and packing I put the keys in our usual place. Locking the car in the garage. But something was missing.
I just can't let you leave and go to your next journey without a parting gift.
What do you get someone whom helped changed the parameters of your life? How do you say "Mahalo" (thank you in Hawaiian) to a family whom helped not only shape but grow yours? How do you say good-bye?
A picture frame? A candle? A new key ring for the new keys in their life?
Nah, I did find something for the gift bag. I went and bought them both winter knit hats and two hand held ice scrapers for the car. The attached card:
The couple has decided it's time to come to the mainland. Even though, they have lived there for 40 years. It was time for something new. It was time for a new adventure.
For now, they are headed here. To Denver. To "their Denver house".
They are here, while we are gone. One final swap. Only we aren't headed to Hawaii, we are headed on our next adventure. Keeping them as part of us, yet starting something new.
We spoke on the phone today, I was explaining how the heater worked. As their house has no heat and they haven't stayed in their Denver house during the winter. I explained, I keep the heat on low, but I sleep with the bedroom window open. Feel free to adjust the heat.
"Of course, it could be 70 during the day - or Denver could get 4 feet of snow." She replies, "We are hoping for 70". "Are you sure you guys know what you are doing coming back to have winter again?", I say. She says, "I know, I know, we have said that.". We discuss the keys - where to leave them, the return home and how we will handle the final car exchange.
They are going to head East on the day I return. Not quite sure to an exact location yet, but a new direction. They will leave my car at the airport, texting me the location, locking the other keys in the car. I will take my extra key.
Tonight as we finished cleaning and packing I put the keys in our usual place. Locking the car in the garage. But something was missing.
I just can't let you leave and go to your next journey without a parting gift.
What do you get someone whom helped changed the parameters of your life? How do you say "Mahalo" (thank you in Hawaiian) to a family whom helped not only shape but grow yours? How do you say good-bye?
A picture frame? A candle? A new key ring for the new keys in their life?
Nah, I did find something for the gift bag. I went and bought them both winter knit hats and two hand held ice scrapers for the car. The attached card:
"May you enjoy the next adventure of your life."
Love Always,
DNL
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Cleaning
It's time to clean again.
As in CLEAN the house. I'm not talking laundry, dishes, vacuuming. You know the usual stuff. For some, the daily stuff, or the weekly or the monthly. Or in case of some people - the usual stuff before company comes over.
I mean CLEAN the house. Dust the blinds. Wash the window curtains. Move the furniture out of the way and clean the baseboards behind it.
We usually do this once a year. I know the theory is better if you clean as you go. That rule is applied USUALLY to dishes, projects and some landscaping activities. For some reason, I don't have the "man I really need to clean the baseboard genes". THANK GOODNESS.
However, when you start swapping your house. When you start living in other peoples homes. When you start letting people live in your home. Well, you become aware, they might not be as "not CLEAN as you". After all, you do want to make a good impression.
Or maybe, you want new friends and old friends and family to enjoy your house through perfect eyes.
Once you get cleaning, it's not hard. In fact, it's easy to get a bet obsessive in thinking. "This is NOT clean enough".
We clean before adventures around here. Well, CLEAN before big adventures. It's that time again. We are cleaning. Cleaning out the dust from the past. The cobwebs and fur balls. It's time for a clean slate. Or at least a clean house.
As in CLEAN the house. I'm not talking laundry, dishes, vacuuming. You know the usual stuff. For some, the daily stuff, or the weekly or the monthly. Or in case of some people - the usual stuff before company comes over.
I mean CLEAN the house. Dust the blinds. Wash the window curtains. Move the furniture out of the way and clean the baseboards behind it.
We usually do this once a year. I know the theory is better if you clean as you go. That rule is applied USUALLY to dishes, projects and some landscaping activities. For some reason, I don't have the "man I really need to clean the baseboard genes". THANK GOODNESS.
However, when you start swapping your house. When you start living in other peoples homes. When you start letting people live in your home. Well, you become aware, they might not be as "not CLEAN as you". After all, you do want to make a good impression.
Or maybe, you want new friends and old friends and family to enjoy your house through perfect eyes.
Once you get cleaning, it's not hard. In fact, it's easy to get a bet obsessive in thinking. "This is NOT clean enough".
We clean before adventures around here. Well, CLEAN before big adventures. It's that time again. We are cleaning. Cleaning out the dust from the past. The cobwebs and fur balls. It's time for a clean slate. Or at least a clean house.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Couponing
Coupons used to embarrass me as a child. We didn't have any money and I thought by using coupons - people could tell we were poor.
But I was a child, and as children we don't understand saving money is saving money. Especially, if you don't have any money to save. Fundamentally it doesn't make sense. How can I save money if I have NO money?
Then as a young adult - I began to understand sales and coupons. Always buy something on sale. There is nothing you HAVE to have today. It will be on sale in a week. I can save department store/specialty store coupons. If I buy something online, I get to check out - then I open a new browser and go to Google. Then you search "website I'm on coupons". 9 times out of 10 you can find a discount code. Sometimes you have to scroll down a page or two - and try a couple of different codes. But, I can always find an airlines code for some group (I got a 10% discount on our fares to Europe). Meaning I saved us a couple hundred dollars - enough to pay for the hotel in London - which I found a 5% discount code - which pays for our train ride to Paris.......
So, I get the couponing thing.
What I can't do? Is the grocery store coupon thing.
I've tried.
And tried.
And every once in a while, I remember a coupon in the bottom of my purse of something I'm buying, and can pull it out at the last second at the cash register. I saved fifty cents.
The truth is, I'm not good with paper. The computer has really helped me. My organizational skills are not the best when it comes to paper. Don't ask me to file for you. You won't find the plumber filed under "B" for "Bill's Plumbing" - you also won't find it under "Household Repairs" you will find it in the P section for "Plumber".
Every once in a while, I try again. I buy a Sunday paper - I look on the internet - I PRINT something out. Then I have a big old pile of nothing in my purse.
Before recruiting went electronic, I filed resumes the same way. Not by the persons names, but by the job they could do (hint hint Plumber). ;-)
Google mail now allows you to search by keywords - it will pull up all e-mails with the keyword "plumber" in your mailbox.
One day, they will allow us to "file" all our coupons this way. Until then, I can't coupon for food.
But I was a child, and as children we don't understand saving money is saving money. Especially, if you don't have any money to save. Fundamentally it doesn't make sense. How can I save money if I have NO money?
Then as a young adult - I began to understand sales and coupons. Always buy something on sale. There is nothing you HAVE to have today. It will be on sale in a week. I can save department store/specialty store coupons. If I buy something online, I get to check out - then I open a new browser and go to Google. Then you search "website I'm on coupons". 9 times out of 10 you can find a discount code. Sometimes you have to scroll down a page or two - and try a couple of different codes. But, I can always find an airlines code for some group (I got a 10% discount on our fares to Europe). Meaning I saved us a couple hundred dollars - enough to pay for the hotel in London - which I found a 5% discount code - which pays for our train ride to Paris.......
So, I get the couponing thing.
What I can't do? Is the grocery store coupon thing.
I've tried.
And tried.
And every once in a while, I remember a coupon in the bottom of my purse of something I'm buying, and can pull it out at the last second at the cash register. I saved fifty cents.
The truth is, I'm not good with paper. The computer has really helped me. My organizational skills are not the best when it comes to paper. Don't ask me to file for you. You won't find the plumber filed under "B" for "Bill's Plumbing" - you also won't find it under "Household Repairs" you will find it in the P section for "Plumber".
Every once in a while, I try again. I buy a Sunday paper - I look on the internet - I PRINT something out. Then I have a big old pile of nothing in my purse.
Before recruiting went electronic, I filed resumes the same way. Not by the persons names, but by the job they could do (hint hint Plumber). ;-)
Google mail now allows you to search by keywords - it will pull up all e-mails with the keyword "plumber" in your mailbox.
One day, they will allow us to "file" all our coupons this way. Until then, I can't coupon for food.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Series Finale Coming Soon
All good things must come to an end.
Things ebb and flow in life. They don't keep going - unless you are in a stagnant pond. Then there is no fresh water. There is only moldy stuff growing there. Unless it's from above. When the fresh water happens and comes, it will be good.
This trilogy is coming to an end. I tend to do things in threes. 3 times in Myrtle Beach. 3 times in Port Aransas. 3 times in Kona.
I had to go to Kona to "get" my third child. 3 years is where I stay my best in one place. Or in series of threes.
So, this blog has taught me SOoooooo much about me. I've also learned about you - my readers, my loyal companions too afraid to tell me whom you are, but like to have been a part of my journey. But usually, I hang on to things too long.
This adventure is winding to a close. A record must finally end. A television series must wind to a close. Yes, we miss the characters. We miss they are part of our lives.
BUT, you know that series on TV or book? When they do a "spin-off". "All in the Family" I still think has the number one number of spin-offs of all time!. "Cheers" spun off "Fraiser." I could go on and on. We could look up shows from shows.
Of course, my favorite spin-offs was one of the secret "spin-offs" - no one really knew that Seinfeld was a spin off from "Mad About You". Please forgive me if I get this all wrong - but the guy across the hall from "Kramer" moved out and "Jerry" moved in.
Then there is the book that tells you "this is a part of the DNL series". Some of the same characters, but new stories. A new plot.
So we are spinning off this blog, and more will be explained here in the next week. But this adventure, is coming to an end.
Heads up.
Things ebb and flow in life. They don't keep going - unless you are in a stagnant pond. Then there is no fresh water. There is only moldy stuff growing there. Unless it's from above. When the fresh water happens and comes, it will be good.
This trilogy is coming to an end. I tend to do things in threes. 3 times in Myrtle Beach. 3 times in Port Aransas. 3 times in Kona.
I had to go to Kona to "get" my third child. 3 years is where I stay my best in one place. Or in series of threes.
So, this blog has taught me SOoooooo much about me. I've also learned about you - my readers, my loyal companions too afraid to tell me whom you are, but like to have been a part of my journey. But usually, I hang on to things too long.
This adventure is winding to a close. A record must finally end. A television series must wind to a close. Yes, we miss the characters. We miss they are part of our lives.
BUT, you know that series on TV or book? When they do a "spin-off". "All in the Family" I still think has the number one number of spin-offs of all time!. "Cheers" spun off "Fraiser." I could go on and on. We could look up shows from shows.
Of course, my favorite spin-offs was one of the secret "spin-offs" - no one really knew that Seinfeld was a spin off from "Mad About You". Please forgive me if I get this all wrong - but the guy across the hall from "Kramer" moved out and "Jerry" moved in.
Then there is the book that tells you "this is a part of the DNL series". Some of the same characters, but new stories. A new plot.
So we are spinning off this blog, and more will be explained here in the next week. But this adventure, is coming to an end.
Heads up.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
A sick day
I can't remember the last time I had a fever.
I do remember having food poisoning a few years ago - that was dreadful. It was a full twenty four hours before I even felt half way human.
I want a day, where I don't do anything. I don't work. I don't go the the gym. I just am on the couch pretending to sleep. Watching movies and bad television.
You know, those things you do when you are sick. But really, I want to go play more than I want to watch tv all day.
But, today, I think I'm calling in sick.
I do remember having food poisoning a few years ago - that was dreadful. It was a full twenty four hours before I even felt half way human.
I want a day, where I don't do anything. I don't work. I don't go the the gym. I just am on the couch pretending to sleep. Watching movies and bad television.
You know, those things you do when you are sick. But really, I want to go play more than I want to watch tv all day.
But, today, I think I'm calling in sick.
Friday, March 21, 2014
I thought we were friends
Yesterday, I received a message from a guy I've worked with off/on for years. The message states "Hey L, it's your friend Rob, call me.".
I called him back today, stating: "So, what's up with the "Your friend Rob"? He replies, " Well, that is what you said in your message." Hmmm. "What are you talking about?".
You left me a message yesterday (we are doing some work together) and you said, "Hey, it's your friend L, call me. "
Really?
I don't normally mention "we are friends". If I know you through work, I say, It' L, I'm the recruiter whom we have been e-mailing/phone tagging/texting/etc..". This was just funny as I know him through work and we have known each other for over 10 years. The only thing I could think of would be that I was in recruiter mode wanting to stay in that mode.
Too funny.
Although, the funeral I recently attended - my friend Leo calls to tell me about the death. I never realized when he leaves me a message this is the message: "Hey, it's your good buddy Leo" then it goes on with the message. Like he needs to tell me he is my buddy.
A few years ago, Lily's dad was in Denver - on one of his three trips in 9 months to Denver - he was helping me repair things around the house. We were talking about the kids. On what they were really thinking when saw each other for the first time. My thought "What the hell is my mom doing now?" My thought? "Here are some new friends." Lily's dad replied, "Friends you are going to have for the rest of your life."
I remember thinking, he really means that. Not in a romantic sense. He wasn't saying we would be together forever. He was saying "THOSE PEOPLE" are friends you will have for the rest of your life.
I understand people change. When I say, I hope we are friends for the rest of my life, I mean it.
The thing that makes me the saddest about my relationship with Lily's dad ending. It's not the actually "see you next month" or "let's talk about football" or "how are you doing?" It's the you told me we would be friends. It's the "I have friends from 30 years.". I understand we don't need to talk with each other - you can stay with the woman whom doesn't want to be around your daughter and has made you stray from your core being. You can stay there. If the two of you are happy, I'm happy for you.
I miss the guy whom was in good shape. Put his daughter and mother first. A good role model for my sons. I miss him. What I really miss is that I'm now short a friend. When I say, "I hope we are friends for the rest of our life, well, I mean it."
Now we are just "those people" - and as your daughter will tell you, "Those people are my family". We might not be family, but I thought we were friends.....
I called him back today, stating: "So, what's up with the "Your friend Rob"? He replies, " Well, that is what you said in your message." Hmmm. "What are you talking about?".
You left me a message yesterday (we are doing some work together) and you said, "Hey, it's your friend L, call me. "
Really?
I don't normally mention "we are friends". If I know you through work, I say, It' L, I'm the recruiter whom we have been e-mailing/phone tagging/texting/etc..". This was just funny as I know him through work and we have known each other for over 10 years. The only thing I could think of would be that I was in recruiter mode wanting to stay in that mode.
Too funny.
Although, the funeral I recently attended - my friend Leo calls to tell me about the death. I never realized when he leaves me a message this is the message: "Hey, it's your good buddy Leo" then it goes on with the message. Like he needs to tell me he is my buddy.
A few years ago, Lily's dad was in Denver - on one of his three trips in 9 months to Denver - he was helping me repair things around the house. We were talking about the kids. On what they were really thinking when saw each other for the first time. My thought "What the hell is my mom doing now?" My thought? "Here are some new friends." Lily's dad replied, "Friends you are going to have for the rest of your life."
I remember thinking, he really means that. Not in a romantic sense. He wasn't saying we would be together forever. He was saying "THOSE PEOPLE" are friends you will have for the rest of your life.
I understand people change. When I say, I hope we are friends for the rest of my life, I mean it.
The thing that makes me the saddest about my relationship with Lily's dad ending. It's not the actually "see you next month" or "let's talk about football" or "how are you doing?" It's the you told me we would be friends. It's the "I have friends from 30 years.". I understand we don't need to talk with each other - you can stay with the woman whom doesn't want to be around your daughter and has made you stray from your core being. You can stay there. If the two of you are happy, I'm happy for you.
I miss the guy whom was in good shape. Put his daughter and mother first. A good role model for my sons. I miss him. What I really miss is that I'm now short a friend. When I say, "I hope we are friends for the rest of our life, well, I mean it."
Now we are just "those people" - and as your daughter will tell you, "Those people are my family". We might not be family, but I thought we were friends.....
Monday, March 17, 2014
To tell you the truth
Watching television drives me crazy. I do like to sit and be a vegetable for bit, on occasion. Yes, I do get caught up in watching a series. Sometimes. But overall, I could do without my TV.
Last summer, and in fact for the last three summers, I didn't turn on the TV at all. Not even a movie.
We still have cable, but I keep saying we are just going to switch over to internet TV. The only problem with that is sports. Or the lack of being able to watch sports live. Truthfully, around here, it's a big deal, but not a HUGE deal.
To tell you the truth, I wish someone would just come over and fix it for me. Bring the box I need/don't need. Take away the cable box and make it all work. I'm sure there is someone I could call for this, but right now it's just easier to keep the cable.
I don't like running. It is truly dreadful I've decided. Yes, the amount of calories you burn versus the time is incredible. The best thing you can do to burn the most calories in the least amount of time. It's hard. For me, it's not only the physical part of running that's hard. I have to get where my brain is in charge of my body. Where I'm in a zone so far a way in my head that my body is just doing. The brain has shut off that receptor that allows any thought to come from the body. Mind over matter.
Yes, I like how I feel after I run. I love the way my arms look - nice and toned. Still working on the toning of the legs. I like accomplishments. I will have liked running a marathon. Once it's over.
I'm super excited about heading to Europe next Friday. I can't wait for stories - lifetime memories - from this trip. But to tell the truth, I'm not a good tourist.
I like becoming a local. I like being a "part" of the locals. And that is why I must run. To be a part of something local - not just a tourist. The day before the marathon there is a 5k. It is not timed. And from what I can tell (after all, I'm reading a french website), when you register, they give everyone a t-shirt with the country they are from on front of it. The kids are running that race.
I'd like to say, that will be one of my most favorite moments. But, there is no way to plan your favorite moments. They usually happen when you least expect it.
So with this trip - I'm entering it with no expectations. Only general plans. Some fun ideas. Because, to tell you the truth, 4 years ago I went on a trip. Not expecting anything but a fun summer. I never had any thought I would still miss it so much.
>
Last summer, and in fact for the last three summers, I didn't turn on the TV at all. Not even a movie.
We still have cable, but I keep saying we are just going to switch over to internet TV. The only problem with that is sports. Or the lack of being able to watch sports live. Truthfully, around here, it's a big deal, but not a HUGE deal.
To tell you the truth, I wish someone would just come over and fix it for me. Bring the box I need/don't need. Take away the cable box and make it all work. I'm sure there is someone I could call for this, but right now it's just easier to keep the cable.
I don't like running. It is truly dreadful I've decided. Yes, the amount of calories you burn versus the time is incredible. The best thing you can do to burn the most calories in the least amount of time. It's hard. For me, it's not only the physical part of running that's hard. I have to get where my brain is in charge of my body. Where I'm in a zone so far a way in my head that my body is just doing. The brain has shut off that receptor that allows any thought to come from the body. Mind over matter.
Yes, I like how I feel after I run. I love the way my arms look - nice and toned. Still working on the toning of the legs. I like accomplishments. I will have liked running a marathon. Once it's over.
I'm super excited about heading to Europe next Friday. I can't wait for stories - lifetime memories - from this trip. But to tell the truth, I'm not a good tourist.
I like becoming a local. I like being a "part" of the locals. And that is why I must run. To be a part of something local - not just a tourist. The day before the marathon there is a 5k. It is not timed. And from what I can tell (after all, I'm reading a french website), when you register, they give everyone a t-shirt with the country they are from on front of it. The kids are running that race.
I'd like to say, that will be one of my most favorite moments. But, there is no way to plan your favorite moments. They usually happen when you least expect it.
So with this trip - I'm entering it with no expectations. Only general plans. Some fun ideas. Because, to tell you the truth, 4 years ago I went on a trip. Not expecting anything but a fun summer. I never had any thought I would still miss it so much.
>
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Little Things
Planning the upcoming trip to Europe - I think I'm more excited than the kids. Although, points and moments come up and then I know they are excited too.
Tonight at dinner, our conversation:
In the midst of course of our "Good Thing, Bad Thing, Funny Thing of the day". The topics we discuss at dinner.
We were discussing two years ago when we went to San Diego for a hockey tournament. On the way down, I was with my friend whom lives in LA. We are talking about the movie "We Bought A Zoo" - we talked about how it was set in Southern California. Half way there, we figure out we need to find the zoo. Only we discover the zoo is in England.
Tonight, for some reason, the subject of this zoo comes up. (Nolan wants credit for this). In the middle of dinner, we pull out the tablet and have to find the zoo. We are going to be in England. Let's go to the zoo!!!
How exciting is this???
Turns out the zoo is four hours from London. Not in the direction of the train to Paris. Not in anyway a place we could make "en route" to where we are headed.
Or maybe, that is part of life. Our life. We take those moments and we go. There is no saying we HAVE to stay in London. I don't need to drag my kids through a museum. What are they really going to remember? My mom wanted us to do these traditional things - or we got on a train, and went FOUR hours out of the way to find a ZOO based upon a movie we watched?
"You know, the zoo is probably lame?"
"Yes, we all agree, the zoo is going to be lame." But, someone took a risk. And risked it all. And some crazy Americans, knew it wasn't really about the zoo. It was about something so much more. Or just a little thing.
In the movie, there was a Duncan. There was a Lily. We think they might have been missing a Nolan.
Tonight at dinner, our conversation:
In the midst of course of our "Good Thing, Bad Thing, Funny Thing of the day". The topics we discuss at dinner.
We were discussing two years ago when we went to San Diego for a hockey tournament. On the way down, I was with my friend whom lives in LA. We are talking about the movie "We Bought A Zoo" - we talked about how it was set in Southern California. Half way there, we figure out we need to find the zoo. Only we discover the zoo is in England.
Tonight, for some reason, the subject of this zoo comes up. (Nolan wants credit for this). In the middle of dinner, we pull out the tablet and have to find the zoo. We are going to be in England. Let's go to the zoo!!!
How exciting is this???
Turns out the zoo is four hours from London. Not in the direction of the train to Paris. Not in anyway a place we could make "en route" to where we are headed.
Or maybe, that is part of life. Our life. We take those moments and we go. There is no saying we HAVE to stay in London. I don't need to drag my kids through a museum. What are they really going to remember? My mom wanted us to do these traditional things - or we got on a train, and went FOUR hours out of the way to find a ZOO based upon a movie we watched?
"You know, the zoo is probably lame?"
"Yes, we all agree, the zoo is going to be lame." But, someone took a risk. And risked it all. And some crazy Americans, knew it wasn't really about the zoo. It was about something so much more. Or just a little thing.
In the movie, there was a Duncan. There was a Lily. We think they might have been missing a Nolan.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
What Are YOU doing here?
Two years ago my sons and I were in Moab with our friends.
This is of course before MY friends, became, well, THEIR friends. We were at the campfire. It was cold. The fire was lit. It was the desert. Friends all together.
I'm standing there talking to Rich. One of the brothers. Talking about life. Talking about everything.
Duncan walks up.
Seriously, my first thought: "Who the hell are you. And how did you get here?" You transported yourself. You see. At that moment. I was 20. Rich was your age. I truly believed to the core of my existence, well, I was 23.
Then you walked up.
I was time traveling.
I wouldn't go back, if I couldn't have you. But, whoooooo, that was weird....
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Lives
I have several trips booked this spring. In fact, the month of April, I'm pretty much not in Denver. And, I can't wait.
I'm on a trip with my kids. I'm on a trip - with just me. Then, I'm on a holiday with my Granny. Some friends too. I have some friends whom live in the same town we are visiting.
An e-mail is sent to a family friend. A friend I've known my whole life. A friend where the word forever, means forever.
I sent her an e-mail about a month ago, letting her know what we were doing - looking for suggestions, ideas and what to do. She's not on Facebook. I KNOW for a fact, we haven't spoken in at least 15 years. We've had some communication, but a conversation? No. We e-mailed. Today, she called. We talked for about 30 minutes.
Her words: "what do you need me to do, to make this weekend great for you." I'm here. Just let me know. I will play tour guide. I will get your grandmother to the finish line. Here are some ideas. We can do this. We can do that. I will take take you here. I will take you there. Whatever you need. I'm here for you. Maybe I'll run the race - only then, I can't help you, so I won't run, I'll help you." Me: Its okay - you run, if you want, Granny will be fine" Her: "Really, it's okay, I'll help you."
Her sons are grown. One is in the military. One is finishing his senior year in college.
Oh, wait, when I hang up the phone. TWO of the parents of the friends of the boys went to elementary/middle school with went to high school with you. I need to tell you so much more. Yes, now I realize you don't really listen.
But that's okay - sometimes we don't need people to listen. We need people to take charge.
We discussed the fact that hockey season is now over. I told her my mantra: every hockey game, each weekend - it doesn't matter if it's the first or the last. I say, "I'm going to miss this". She replies, "No, you won't". "God prepares you for the next stage in life".
I've known you. Yet, not known you my entire life. Yet, you know me too.......
Thank you. Oh my God, I'm SO much like you.......
I'm on a trip with my kids. I'm on a trip - with just me. Then, I'm on a holiday with my Granny. Some friends too. I have some friends whom live in the same town we are visiting.
An e-mail is sent to a family friend. A friend I've known my whole life. A friend where the word forever, means forever.
I sent her an e-mail about a month ago, letting her know what we were doing - looking for suggestions, ideas and what to do. She's not on Facebook. I KNOW for a fact, we haven't spoken in at least 15 years. We've had some communication, but a conversation? No. We e-mailed. Today, she called. We talked for about 30 minutes.
Her words: "what do you need me to do, to make this weekend great for you." I'm here. Just let me know. I will play tour guide. I will get your grandmother to the finish line. Here are some ideas. We can do this. We can do that. I will take take you here. I will take you there. Whatever you need. I'm here for you. Maybe I'll run the race - only then, I can't help you, so I won't run, I'll help you." Me: Its okay - you run, if you want, Granny will be fine" Her: "Really, it's okay, I'll help you."
Her sons are grown. One is in the military. One is finishing his senior year in college.
Oh, wait, when I hang up the phone. TWO of the parents of the friends of the boys went to elementary/middle school with went to high school with you. I need to tell you so much more. Yes, now I realize you don't really listen.
But that's okay - sometimes we don't need people to listen. We need people to take charge.
We discussed the fact that hockey season is now over. I told her my mantra: every hockey game, each weekend - it doesn't matter if it's the first or the last. I say, "I'm going to miss this". She replies, "No, you won't". "God prepares you for the next stage in life".
I've known you. Yet, not known you my entire life. Yet, you know me too.......
Thank you. Oh my God, I'm SO much like you.......
Friday, March 7, 2014
The Colony
Every spring, we get ants in our house. Every fall, spiders. Only the spiders usually aren't too bad. Someone once told me "white spiders" are good luck. I can't kill those - I have to pick them up and carry them outside. The others one, the fuzzy ones??? They get killed. YUCK!
Anyway - the little "ant hotels" work really well.
Only, tonight I arrive home and there are ants all over the kitchen. They have even been in my bathroom this year. What the heck? Go away!
It's been warm/cold/warm/cold - I guess the ants are confused too. It's WINTER still - not SPRING.
But they don't know this.
Then I went to write this as my status update on Facebook:
"Do you ever wonder when you see bugs/insects in your house if there really isn't a secret hiding place of their whole colony hiding in the crawl space?"
Only, then I thought, everyone really would think I'm crazier than I really am. (Self admit I can be pretty out there)
Like something that shows up in a horror movie - this entire ANTS movie - only it's real. It's also in my basement.
Every once in a while, I shine my flashlight into the crawl space just to make sure I don't have an ant colony down there. A few years ago when my dad moved into his house in North Carolina he had an "attic" with bats in it. I remember him showing it to the boys. Once his wife found out - the exterminator came out to get rid of the bats. I completely understand.
But so far, no colonies - they just appear from no place. I found a good safe "pet friendly" spray. Only it smells like menthol. My house smells likes a place for old people. AND the ants are still here.
There is a colony around here. Tomorrow, I'm going to get them.
Anyway - the little "ant hotels" work really well.
Only, tonight I arrive home and there are ants all over the kitchen. They have even been in my bathroom this year. What the heck? Go away!
It's been warm/cold/warm/cold - I guess the ants are confused too. It's WINTER still - not SPRING.
But they don't know this.
Then I went to write this as my status update on Facebook:
"Do you ever wonder when you see bugs/insects in your house if there really isn't a secret hiding place of their whole colony hiding in the crawl space?"
Only, then I thought, everyone really would think I'm crazier than I really am. (Self admit I can be pretty out there)
Like something that shows up in a horror movie - this entire ANTS movie - only it's real. It's also in my basement.
Every once in a while, I shine my flashlight into the crawl space just to make sure I don't have an ant colony down there. A few years ago when my dad moved into his house in North Carolina he had an "attic" with bats in it. I remember him showing it to the boys. Once his wife found out - the exterminator came out to get rid of the bats. I completely understand.
But so far, no colonies - they just appear from no place. I found a good safe "pet friendly" spray. Only it smells like menthol. My house smells likes a place for old people. AND the ants are still here.
There is a colony around here. Tomorrow, I'm going to get them.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
I'm going to bed
For the record, this was probably one of the most successful February's on record, for me. I've mentioned before I don't like February. This February, I did okay.
It was almost like it was the rest of my life - it flowed. There were highs. There were lows. But there were no "stay down in the lows for a few weeks". It worked for me. I even noticed towards the end of the month, the days were getting a little brighter at night. It was around 6:15 the other night and the sky still held some of the reflection of the sun.
But really, I had a great February. I booked tickets for me and my kids to go to Europe. I closed a couple of deals. I increased my running. I owned the month. One day at a time - just like I said I would.
Then, if you follow astrology, "Mercury Retrograde" ended. If you follow astrology, "Mercury Retrograde" is a time of disorder - things break, nothing goes right, you can't get it going. During this time, you are supposed to finish old business - not start anything new - wrap up old things. But for me, it seemed to go better. ***Disclaimer here, I know enough about astrology to write that sentence, maybe another sentence or two. But, that's it. Much like the rest of my personality - a little bit of everything, a lot of nothing"..........
Then February ends, we come out of retrograde, and spring is within sight........
It was almost like it was the rest of my life - it flowed. There were highs. There were lows. But there were no "stay down in the lows for a few weeks". It worked for me. I even noticed towards the end of the month, the days were getting a little brighter at night. It was around 6:15 the other night and the sky still held some of the reflection of the sun.
But really, I had a great February. I booked tickets for me and my kids to go to Europe. I closed a couple of deals. I increased my running. I owned the month. One day at a time - just like I said I would.
Then, if you follow astrology, "Mercury Retrograde" ended. If you follow astrology, "Mercury Retrograde" is a time of disorder - things break, nothing goes right, you can't get it going. During this time, you are supposed to finish old business - not start anything new - wrap up old things. But for me, it seemed to go better. ***Disclaimer here, I know enough about astrology to write that sentence, maybe another sentence or two. But, that's it. Much like the rest of my personality - a little bit of everything, a lot of nothing"..........
Then February ends, we come out of retrograde, and spring is within sight........
- A phone call arrives on February 28 letting me know a friend had passed. I got to start March by attending a funeral. He smoked, he drank, he didn't eat well - we all knew it was a matter of time - it still didn't make it any easier. He was only 55. He always made me laugh. It was a beautiful service.
- A candidate backs out of a position they were going to start - AFTER they had passed the background check, drug test and told the company they would accept. Yes - this happens to me at least twice a year. (I got this one out of the way). (which means I don't get the rest of my money)
- For some reason, I now get to go on holiday with my ex-boyfriends ex-wife.
- The guy whom fired me last summer? His daughter asked my oldest son if he would take her to her prom. It's next weekend. Of course he's going. He is my son. And I told him - please tell the sweet girl that whatever expenses you incur, her dad needs to pay for. Duncan won't. But, I will. I did text his wife so I could make sure the flowers match her dress.......(Guys take note - you want me on your team, you don't want me on the team against you). And the way my life works, Duncan and this girl will start to date.
- I ran 7 miles yesterday. I went to run 7 miles today. First though, I wanted to go to yoga - to stretch and breathe. I was running late and got to class about 5 minutes late. Or so I thought. I was actually about 35 minutes late. I then walked 4 miles
- The sucker punch of them all? The Hawaii house has a contract on it.
Yes, these are all "first world problems" - I have my health, my kids health and a roof over my head - (and I think I may even finally have health insurance again).
But, for now, I'm going to bed.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Shhh......
It's a secret.
I LOVE surprises. I love the good type of secrets. The type where there is planning. There is wanting. There is knowing you are going to make someone happy.
Truly, I'm a horrible secret keeper. I mean, not really. It's just hard to keep a secret. I can keep a secret until the end of time. Heck, I even had Harry Connick, Jr's credit card number for a few years. (I owned a gift company, his sister-in-law lived/lives in Boulder) See, I've kept that a secret for years.
When I was pregnant with Nolan. I didn't know if I was pregnant with a boy or girl. It actually drove everyone else more crazy than me. I remember answering the question: "What are you going to have?" = with the reply "kittens". "I get to know for the rest of my life". I don't want to find out early. I like surprises. I'll find out soon.
At the moment, just before he came out of my body - I remember, the doctor looked around the room. She says, "Now is your turn to guess." People in the office had guessed. People in the room guessed. She looks at his dad - he replies "no clue". I looked at her square in the eyes.
"It's a boy". Not a doubt in my mind.
He thinks that is why he likes surprises. He was a surprise.
Now, he has a surprise coming soon......Shhhh..... (he loves surprises)
I LOVE surprises. I love the good type of secrets. The type where there is planning. There is wanting. There is knowing you are going to make someone happy.
Truly, I'm a horrible secret keeper. I mean, not really. It's just hard to keep a secret. I can keep a secret until the end of time. Heck, I even had Harry Connick, Jr's credit card number for a few years. (I owned a gift company, his sister-in-law lived/lives in Boulder) See, I've kept that a secret for years.
When I was pregnant with Nolan. I didn't know if I was pregnant with a boy or girl. It actually drove everyone else more crazy than me. I remember answering the question: "What are you going to have?" = with the reply "kittens". "I get to know for the rest of my life". I don't want to find out early. I like surprises. I'll find out soon.
At the moment, just before he came out of my body - I remember, the doctor looked around the room. She says, "Now is your turn to guess." People in the office had guessed. People in the room guessed. She looks at his dad - he replies "no clue". I looked at her square in the eyes.
"It's a boy". Not a doubt in my mind.
He thinks that is why he likes surprises. He was a surprise.
Now, he has a surprise coming soon......Shhhh..... (he loves surprises)
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Other things to remember
More on my list of what to remember while winter running:
IT IS STILL WINTER. This is not "spring-time" in the Rockies. It is FEBRUARY. It is still winter. No matter what the sky looks like or the thermostat tells you. It's winter. That means, while there may not be a cloud in the sky, while it may be 65 degrees - it can all be very short lived. I went to run on Monday. I left the house in a running skirt and a tank top. It was 65 degrees. The air was warm. The sun was bright. I was at mile 1.5 - and it started getting windy. I KNOW better than to leave the house without a jacket, or a long sleeve shirt - I've lived here for over 20 years. Weather can change in a moment - no matter what the month. By the time I got home, 20 minutes later - it was 35 degrees. Yes, it dropped 30 degrees in 20 minutes. I know better than this.
Snow mold. Never heard of it before. But when I'm done running, I start to sneeze within 10 minutes of stopping. I don't stop sneezing. Take a Sudafed immediately. Evidently, the ground, leaves, whatever starts to mold under the snow that doesn't melt - then it melts, and the mold gets to me. Never knew I was allergic to snow mold. Of course, I didn't know there was such a thing.
Weight coming off in the winter is different than in the summer. I think my body keeps trying to keep me warm. My clothes are looser, but the weight loss has stopped. No, it's not muscle, trust me.
The thoughts that pop into your head are incredible. You don't know anyone or yourself any better than you ever will after you have pushed your body to another limit. I was running last week - my first really long run this time - 12 miles (I'm SO behind). I got to mile 11 and I told myself "Slow down. It's okay, it's not like this is a competition." Then I smiled. If this isn't a competition, I don't know what is. Only this time, I'm only competing against me.
It's time to upload/download some new music. The music that got you this far, isn't getting you across this finish line. Time for new music. It's a new race.
IT IS STILL WINTER. This is not "spring-time" in the Rockies. It is FEBRUARY. It is still winter. No matter what the sky looks like or the thermostat tells you. It's winter. That means, while there may not be a cloud in the sky, while it may be 65 degrees - it can all be very short lived. I went to run on Monday. I left the house in a running skirt and a tank top. It was 65 degrees. The air was warm. The sun was bright. I was at mile 1.5 - and it started getting windy. I KNOW better than to leave the house without a jacket, or a long sleeve shirt - I've lived here for over 20 years. Weather can change in a moment - no matter what the month. By the time I got home, 20 minutes later - it was 35 degrees. Yes, it dropped 30 degrees in 20 minutes. I know better than this.
Snow mold. Never heard of it before. But when I'm done running, I start to sneeze within 10 minutes of stopping. I don't stop sneezing. Take a Sudafed immediately. Evidently, the ground, leaves, whatever starts to mold under the snow that doesn't melt - then it melts, and the mold gets to me. Never knew I was allergic to snow mold. Of course, I didn't know there was such a thing.
Weight coming off in the winter is different than in the summer. I think my body keeps trying to keep me warm. My clothes are looser, but the weight loss has stopped. No, it's not muscle, trust me.
The thoughts that pop into your head are incredible. You don't know anyone or yourself any better than you ever will after you have pushed your body to another limit. I was running last week - my first really long run this time - 12 miles (I'm SO behind). I got to mile 11 and I told myself "Slow down. It's okay, it's not like this is a competition." Then I smiled. If this isn't a competition, I don't know what is. Only this time, I'm only competing against me.
It's time to upload/download some new music. The music that got you this far, isn't getting you across this finish line. Time for new music. It's a new race.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Deleting Contacts
My phone/address book has over 600 contacts. Granted some of those are double entered - or in some cases triple. When Carolyn calls me the Caller ID on my phone says "Carolyn or 2 others". Meaning, I have her under Carolyn. Carolyn Maiden Name. Carolyn Maiden Name Married Name. This doesn't even count the fact I have her husband's name and number in there or her dad. Because I could need to talk to them too.
Many and I would say MOST of my contacts are friends/family and people I've meet personally. Then there is an entire group of work/professional contacts as well. I'm usually pretty good about whom I put into the phone/contact list. When I put someone in, if they are a business connection, I put their company information.
If I meet a person, through a friend or a friend of a friend, I put that instead in the "Company" information. For example, I have a whole group of contacts that say "Sams Mom" or "Jacks Dad" from first meeting various "parent friends". Finally, a few years ago, I changed "Sams Mom" to "Lynda". I figured by now she was my friend too.
Then there is the group of people I've met randomly - Jimmy "In Vail with Carolyn"; Jackson "cute guy with Rockies tickets", Julie "friend of Melody's". That way when they do call/text, I can remember in what context I know this person. Or if I need to find them, I can search by some random clue. As for some reason I can remember "remember that girl that's friends with Melody...." I'm usually really good at this as I talk to tons of people (occupational hazard) and can never remember their actual name, but how/why I meet someone.
A few years ago Carolyn and I were headed to Vail. I was driving, she was in the passenger seat. We went through my phone, her deleting contacts we didn't think were relevant anymore. It felt good, a cleansing so to speak. We had to weigh the pros/cons of deleting a couple. But overall, I don't think I regretted deleting anyone. Or keeping anyone. Of course, on the way home, we were stuck in traffic. We decided it was a good thing we had deleted some old numbers, no telling whom we would have called!
Although, I have to say, there are some I've tried to delete. PeterPan. Oh dear - I've deleted his number so many times, I can't even count. I finally came to terms a few years ago that there was no point. In fact, he's probably one of the only numbers I do still know from memory.
Or MM - another romance that faded away. I finally deleted him. Then one day, over a YEAR since I had heard from him, I receive a text "How are you? Just thinking of you. MM". He was put back in. We don't really talk to each other much any more, but there is no point in deleting he will reappear.
It seems once you are deleted, if you come back, you get to stay.
Then, there are fun ones. The random ones whom I forgot to identify. Who the heck is this???
On Saturday afternoon I received a text and the named showed up in my phone as "Brendan Slate" (no that is not his real name) and the text says "Hey! How are you? Want to meet in Vegas in May? Unless of course you are still in Kona" Brendan.
Who the heck is Brendan Slate? I had no "clue". No identifying marker. Hmmmm, let's see, well, I either met him right before, during or after Kona. Hmmm, I wonder what summer?
I'm at the club, I'm drying my hair. Oh. Wait. Hmmmm......
His area code 858 - I think that's California. Hmmmm. OH, wait! He's that hot English guy whom played "football" for England and Australia. He played professional - I even now remember googling his name, I believe he played on the same team as Beckham for bit. Oh, I remember him. We met briefly. We had dinner. He went to the paddle club with me to canoe. He met Nolan the day he arrived in Kona. Then he left. He had been in Kona coaching a soccer clinic.
Oh, yes, I remember you.
And this is why we don't delete people from our contacts.
Because, yes, yes, I will meet you in Vegas.
Many and I would say MOST of my contacts are friends/family and people I've meet personally. Then there is an entire group of work/professional contacts as well. I'm usually pretty good about whom I put into the phone/contact list. When I put someone in, if they are a business connection, I put their company information.
If I meet a person, through a friend or a friend of a friend, I put that instead in the "Company" information. For example, I have a whole group of contacts that say "Sams Mom" or "Jacks Dad" from first meeting various "parent friends". Finally, a few years ago, I changed "Sams Mom" to "Lynda". I figured by now she was my friend too.
Then there is the group of people I've met randomly - Jimmy "In Vail with Carolyn"; Jackson "cute guy with Rockies tickets", Julie "friend of Melody's". That way when they do call/text, I can remember in what context I know this person. Or if I need to find them, I can search by some random clue. As for some reason I can remember "remember that girl that's friends with Melody...." I'm usually really good at this as I talk to tons of people (occupational hazard) and can never remember their actual name, but how/why I meet someone.
A few years ago Carolyn and I were headed to Vail. I was driving, she was in the passenger seat. We went through my phone, her deleting contacts we didn't think were relevant anymore. It felt good, a cleansing so to speak. We had to weigh the pros/cons of deleting a couple. But overall, I don't think I regretted deleting anyone. Or keeping anyone. Of course, on the way home, we were stuck in traffic. We decided it was a good thing we had deleted some old numbers, no telling whom we would have called!
Although, I have to say, there are some I've tried to delete. PeterPan. Oh dear - I've deleted his number so many times, I can't even count. I finally came to terms a few years ago that there was no point. In fact, he's probably one of the only numbers I do still know from memory.
Or MM - another romance that faded away. I finally deleted him. Then one day, over a YEAR since I had heard from him, I receive a text "How are you? Just thinking of you. MM". He was put back in. We don't really talk to each other much any more, but there is no point in deleting he will reappear.
It seems once you are deleted, if you come back, you get to stay.
Then, there are fun ones. The random ones whom I forgot to identify. Who the heck is this???
On Saturday afternoon I received a text and the named showed up in my phone as "Brendan Slate" (no that is not his real name) and the text says "Hey! How are you? Want to meet in Vegas in May? Unless of course you are still in Kona" Brendan.
Who the heck is Brendan Slate? I had no "clue". No identifying marker. Hmmmm, let's see, well, I either met him right before, during or after Kona. Hmmm, I wonder what summer?
I'm at the club, I'm drying my hair. Oh. Wait. Hmmmm......
His area code 858 - I think that's California. Hmmmm. OH, wait! He's that hot English guy whom played "football" for England and Australia. He played professional - I even now remember googling his name, I believe he played on the same team as Beckham for bit. Oh, I remember him. We met briefly. We had dinner. He went to the paddle club with me to canoe. He met Nolan the day he arrived in Kona. Then he left. He had been in Kona coaching a soccer clinic.
Oh, yes, I remember you.
And this is why we don't delete people from our contacts.
Because, yes, yes, I will meet you in Vegas.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Getting to Go
I view travel - even if it's for business - as "I get to go". I don't care where it is. I've been to Cleveland, OH on a business trip. I still enjoyed that trip. I had never been there. It was interesting city and it wasn't as gloomy as they tell you. Yes, it was the middle of winter.
Years ago I traveled much for business. All just in the USA. Mainly even the West Coast. I had the best territory ever. (At least for me) Denver, Phoenix, San Diego, Orange County, LA, San Fran. It was great. Easy flights. Beautiful WARM cities.
Even on business, I would find fun things to do. Or stay an extra day. Or bring a friend or a kid along to see different things. If it wasn't an adventure, I was going to make it an adventure.
Now my trips are fun. I do try to put some "learning" into each trip. Although, I don't like the traditional "go through each museum and "see" what they are displaying. I'm more of a "let's go find the best breakfast place the locals recommend. Or "Let's go find the OLDEST museum/restaurant/church/bicycle shop" in town. OR "Let's run where athletes have run for years and see what they see". I'm about the experience.
In planning this trip with the kids to Europe, the last thing I want to do is "drag them from church to church, museum to museum." Kids don't like that - although, some times you do have to do those things you don't like - you just have to see it. I don't like doing that either. I've been thinking of other ideas:
Years ago I traveled much for business. All just in the USA. Mainly even the West Coast. I had the best territory ever. (At least for me) Denver, Phoenix, San Diego, Orange County, LA, San Fran. It was great. Easy flights. Beautiful WARM cities.
Even on business, I would find fun things to do. Or stay an extra day. Or bring a friend or a kid along to see different things. If it wasn't an adventure, I was going to make it an adventure.
Now my trips are fun. I do try to put some "learning" into each trip. Although, I don't like the traditional "go through each museum and "see" what they are displaying. I'm more of a "let's go find the best breakfast place the locals recommend. Or "Let's go find the OLDEST museum/restaurant/church/bicycle shop" in town. OR "Let's run where athletes have run for years and see what they see". I'm about the experience.
In planning this trip with the kids to Europe, the last thing I want to do is "drag them from church to church, museum to museum." Kids don't like that - although, some times you do have to do those things you don't like - you just have to see it. I don't like doing that either. I've been thinking of other ideas:
- While in London, let's actually GO to a church service at the Westminster Abby (we are Episcopalian) and this is where the branch of our church started. Actual history.
- While in Paris, maybe we can find the oldest chocolate shop in each area.
- While at the Louvre (sorry, they have to go there). Not only do we have to see the Mona Lisa and Venus De Milo, maybe each kid has to see if there is a piece of art with their name in it? Find a piece of art with a "rabbit" in it.
- Ask a local for the best creperie in town and go there.
- Take the stairs to the top of the Eiffel tower versus the elevator.
- Rent bicycles and tour the town on the bike - packing a lunch and stopping at local markets for more food.
A few years ago, Duncan was invited to go to Germany with a friend of his. His friends family (the mom) is actually German. They have family there. It didn't end up working out for Duncan to meet them - the family had to re-route their vacation that year. But I was SO excited about him GETTING to go. What an opportunity.
Was I worried for his safety? No more than I worry here. He's going to do this one day on his own (At least I hope he does). Why not take this opportunity and let him explore with another family?
The real, true problem - I was jealous. I WANTED to go with him. Of course I did. He gets to go on an adventure? And it doesn't include me????
I just have to remember, this is their life too. I would also rather they slowly get to explore the world (with some adults still around), then go on their own. Hopefully, the good things they have learned can be taken and applied to their whole life. Then they get to go........
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Divorce
People use the term "divorce" all the time now. I"m going to "divorce" my bank - I don't want to do business with them any more. I'm "divorcing" a job, it's not healthy.
Divorce isn't always about a marriage of two people. But today, let's look at a positive side of divorce between two people.
Here you have two people whom don't agree on things any more. Yes, I think divorce is a cop-out and people do get divorced without trying hard. But you can also get married with doing any work either. I think we have the system backwards: there should be a year waiting period after you decide you want to get married before you can get married. If you still want to get married after the year, then you can get married.
You hear all time the time "kids of divorce are from a broken home". Yes, there are some bad situations out there. I also know plenty of people whom aren't happy together, yet stay together for the kids. Meanwhile, the kids are living in hell because NO ONE is happy.
What about the happy medium?
I think my sons play ENTIRELY too much hockey. Travel teams, club teams, school teams? Where do you draw the line?
If I was still married, I would just have to deal with it. And not be happy - I wouldn't not be happy because my sons are playing hockey, I would be sad because I wouldn't be able to show them the things I think are important in their growth. We wouldn't be able to go to Hawaii. We wouldn't be able to travel for non-hockey adventures. And many other things.
Instead, in our family, we accept differences. I support the hockey opportunities emotional for my kids, just not financially. Their dad supports his sons opportunities to explore the world emotionally, just not financially.
We both understand our boys best interest is at heart. We just have different adventures for them.
Divorce isn't always about a marriage of two people. But today, let's look at a positive side of divorce between two people.
Here you have two people whom don't agree on things any more. Yes, I think divorce is a cop-out and people do get divorced without trying hard. But you can also get married with doing any work either. I think we have the system backwards: there should be a year waiting period after you decide you want to get married before you can get married. If you still want to get married after the year, then you can get married.
You hear all time the time "kids of divorce are from a broken home". Yes, there are some bad situations out there. I also know plenty of people whom aren't happy together, yet stay together for the kids. Meanwhile, the kids are living in hell because NO ONE is happy.
What about the happy medium?
I think my sons play ENTIRELY too much hockey. Travel teams, club teams, school teams? Where do you draw the line?
If I was still married, I would just have to deal with it. And not be happy - I wouldn't not be happy because my sons are playing hockey, I would be sad because I wouldn't be able to show them the things I think are important in their growth. We wouldn't be able to go to Hawaii. We wouldn't be able to travel for non-hockey adventures. And many other things.
Instead, in our family, we accept differences. I support the hockey opportunities emotional for my kids, just not financially. Their dad supports his sons opportunities to explore the world emotionally, just not financially.
We both understand our boys best interest is at heart. We just have different adventures for them.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Remembering
When the boys were little, people said all the time "you need to write this stuff down". You know the funny stuff, the little things, the things you won't remember. Of course, I didn't do it.
I HATE when people can't talk about anything but the past (yes, my mother does this all the time and it drives me crazy - she knows it drives me crazy) - Mothers are here to drive you crazy. Just ask my kids. Yes, some moments are good to reminisce, but the present is also a wonderful place to live.
What I really need to remember is things where I made a mistake, or I learned something - so the next time I go to do it, I can do it better or not repeat the same mistakes.
This winter running is much harder than spring/summer running.
Things I need to remember if I do this again: (and we know I will)
I HATE when people can't talk about anything but the past (yes, my mother does this all the time and it drives me crazy - she knows it drives me crazy) - Mothers are here to drive you crazy. Just ask my kids. Yes, some moments are good to reminisce, but the present is also a wonderful place to live.
What I really need to remember is things where I made a mistake, or I learned something - so the next time I go to do it, I can do it better or not repeat the same mistakes.
This winter running is much harder than spring/summer running.
Things I need to remember if I do this again: (and we know I will)
- It's cooler when you run, and the GOOD thing - you can go run anytime - I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to go run. It will be cool out in the middle of the afternoon.
- Running while it is cool feels great - but when you stop, you are COLD. It's because you are wet.
- Feel too cold to get in the shower, then you warm up - and you realize how bad you smell. Just get in the shower.
- Arms still chafe even if you have a long sleeve shirt on over the tank.
- You still need water - maybe not as much, but you are still getting dehydrated
- Not all places that are open in the summer to use the restroom/get a drink of water are open in the winter. (Winter Hours at Wash Park Rec Center). Ran 7 miles - could have run 10 if the rec center had been open.
- Buy some crappy long sleeve t-shirts. More clothes. More to smell. More to wash. Things wear out faster
- You need gloves and ear warmers. Be okay with throwing things away. Or make sure you leave a note that you will be back
- Don't do this again. What the hell were you thinking?
- Oh, yeah, you lost 10 pounds and you got to go to Paris and London - and you get to take your kids.
It was just a little bit of a pain. Right?
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Second
How come everyone wants to go first?
Be the first to do things. The first in a competition.
Sports, Debate team, piano competitions, and whatever other "organized competitive" events - I get wanting to be first. It's an award. A prize. In fact, my oldest son, in a hockey tournament said he would rather come in third than second. His philosophy: When you are second, you lost to first. When you are third, at least you beat the fourth ranked team.
Then there is first at "doing new things". The explorers of the world. The risk takers. I guess not everyone wants to go first. There is a whole personality group type out there whom would much rather someone else go first. Let them figure things out, then they can follow along. But not all whom go first succeed. Sometimes, it is the second one or the third one whom try whom actually make it - they learned the mistakes of the first explorers.
What about being second in something where you had no choice?
The second child
The second chosen for the job, because the first one turned it down.
The second wife?
My dear friend whom lost his wife seven years ago is now married again and has a baby. Granted this week was a really hard one - it was not only the anniversary of the first wife's death, but also her birth. The current wife fell apart.
Part of it is hormones, they do have a newborn in the house. The other part? Why does everyone continue to want to "think about him" when she died?
I sent a text to her saying "I know today might be hard for you, but just remember we love you." Not we love you too. Just we love you.
She went too far. She crossed a line with all the friends; her words to everyone "I know it was sad. It was a horrible day, but let's look at how I have been blessed." This wasn't about her. I said to her, "People weren't saying they aren't glad to have you. People are just sad, because not only did your husband lose a wife, everyone lost a friend."
I don't think it helped.
She cannot get over the fact that "She came in second". I received a text from her at two in the morning on how sad she really was. While she said she was fine before.
"Welcome to the I don't like February club". It will get easier with time. He doesn't love you too - He loves you. Also.
I'm not one to like the middle of things. I definitely don't like playing second place. You just have to remember it's not a competition. Unless you are competing, there are no prizes.
"Being someone's first love is great. It's being their last love that is priceless....."
Be the first to do things. The first in a competition.
Sports, Debate team, piano competitions, and whatever other "organized competitive" events - I get wanting to be first. It's an award. A prize. In fact, my oldest son, in a hockey tournament said he would rather come in third than second. His philosophy: When you are second, you lost to first. When you are third, at least you beat the fourth ranked team.
Then there is first at "doing new things". The explorers of the world. The risk takers. I guess not everyone wants to go first. There is a whole personality group type out there whom would much rather someone else go first. Let them figure things out, then they can follow along. But not all whom go first succeed. Sometimes, it is the second one or the third one whom try whom actually make it - they learned the mistakes of the first explorers.
What about being second in something where you had no choice?
The second child
The second chosen for the job, because the first one turned it down.
The second wife?
My dear friend whom lost his wife seven years ago is now married again and has a baby. Granted this week was a really hard one - it was not only the anniversary of the first wife's death, but also her birth. The current wife fell apart.
Part of it is hormones, they do have a newborn in the house. The other part? Why does everyone continue to want to "think about him" when she died?
I sent a text to her saying "I know today might be hard for you, but just remember we love you." Not we love you too. Just we love you.
She went too far. She crossed a line with all the friends; her words to everyone "I know it was sad. It was a horrible day, but let's look at how I have been blessed." This wasn't about her. I said to her, "People weren't saying they aren't glad to have you. People are just sad, because not only did your husband lose a wife, everyone lost a friend."
I don't think it helped.
She cannot get over the fact that "She came in second". I received a text from her at two in the morning on how sad she really was. While she said she was fine before.
"Welcome to the I don't like February club". It will get easier with time. He doesn't love you too - He loves you. Also.
I'm not one to like the middle of things. I definitely don't like playing second place. You just have to remember it's not a competition. Unless you are competing, there are no prizes.
"Being someone's first love is great. It's being their last love that is priceless....."
Friday, February 7, 2014
Starting over
Can you ever really erase history? Start at the beginning with no baggage? Start at the start - again?
I don't know.
My running buddy and his wife (whom have been married for over 40 years), they can start over. They can start a conversation and realize it's not going in the direction either of them intended. So, they start over. But, they don't "re-start". They just "start". Even in the same conversation. Stop. Start. When you re-start, you "disregard the previous statement".
But, can you really do that? Un-ring a bell? Not hear something that was spoken?
We all misspeak.
Say words we wish we could take back.
But, truly, can we undo it? I know we want too.
Tonight, I was at Duncan't hockey game. When I walk into the bathroom, there is a group of teenage girls standing there gossiping. One of the girls gives me a hug. We talk a bit about her boyfriend (they broke up), she's just there to watch Duncan's team..... Hmmm.....
I then go into a stall. I hear the girls talking. I hear "that's Duncan's mom". The conversation continues. I giggle. Then, I couldn't help my self. "I can still hear you". I couldn't resist. It got suddenly quiet.
Leaving the bathroom, they were all standing there. Pink in the cheeks. I just said "Hi ladies" and continued walking.
Peter Pan wants to try this. With me. I don't believe him. I look at his track record. I look at my track record.
This is impossible.
I receive the text, "Shouldn't we try?"
"How do we start over?" Erase the mistakes and not hold them as grudge?
I'm not sure.
I don't know if I know how. Although, I remember hearing the greatest form of forgiveness is to let it go.
I don't remember loving you.
So, then I receive a text from Peter Pan. My reply: "Who is this?".
"That cute blonde guy you met at a bar."
"Oh, I don't remember much about you."
"Trust me, you want to know me." Oh yeah? "Yeah". "So, do you like tomatoes?"
I don't know.
My running buddy and his wife (whom have been married for over 40 years), they can start over. They can start a conversation and realize it's not going in the direction either of them intended. So, they start over. But, they don't "re-start". They just "start". Even in the same conversation. Stop. Start. When you re-start, you "disregard the previous statement".
But, can you really do that? Un-ring a bell? Not hear something that was spoken?
We all misspeak.
Say words we wish we could take back.
But, truly, can we undo it? I know we want too.
Tonight, I was at Duncan't hockey game. When I walk into the bathroom, there is a group of teenage girls standing there gossiping. One of the girls gives me a hug. We talk a bit about her boyfriend (they broke up), she's just there to watch Duncan's team..... Hmmm.....
I then go into a stall. I hear the girls talking. I hear "that's Duncan's mom". The conversation continues. I giggle. Then, I couldn't help my self. "I can still hear you". I couldn't resist. It got suddenly quiet.
Leaving the bathroom, they were all standing there. Pink in the cheeks. I just said "Hi ladies" and continued walking.
Peter Pan wants to try this. With me. I don't believe him. I look at his track record. I look at my track record.
This is impossible.
I receive the text, "Shouldn't we try?"
"How do we start over?" Erase the mistakes and not hold them as grudge?
I'm not sure.
I don't know if I know how. Although, I remember hearing the greatest form of forgiveness is to let it go.
I don't remember loving you.
So, then I receive a text from Peter Pan. My reply: "Who is this?".
"That cute blonde guy you met at a bar."
"Oh, I don't remember much about you."
"Trust me, you want to know me." Oh yeah? "Yeah". "So, do you like tomatoes?"
Monday, February 3, 2014
Owning this month
When I think December is bad, I just remember "December has NOTHING on February"
December is hectic. It's cold. It's dark, but there are bright spots through the entire month.
But February......It's a whole different animal.....
Last February, I said I was going to OWN this February. I was going to plan, it was all going to fall into place, and THIS February, it was going to be mine.
Every morning, I look at the calendar and think, "I made it one more day". We are going to get through February - then the rest of the year is going to fly. But for the shortest month of the year, it's usually, the longest.
SO - this is what I'm doing DIFFERENT this February:
- I'm running. I ran 7 miles today. It was 29 degrees when we stopped running. I was sweating. (One of those things as a girl born in Texas that I will NEVER understand! (How can it be 29 degrees or heck, even -20, and I'm SWEATING?)
- I'm on track to have several "starts" this month (in the recruiting world, I get paid when people start working).
- I'm going to write - every day. Okay, maybe only every other day. But they say exercise is THE best anti-depressant you can buy. I'm betting doing anything you love comes in second.
- I'm eating chips when I want to eat chips. My choice of today was BBQ Lays. (And now feel sick, but the handful was really good).
- I'm planning.
- I'm buying plane tickets for the future. This February I don't have to run away. (although, I still might).
- I'm being the strong one
- The dreamer
- The believer.
I'm not the only one whom doesn't like February.
There is group of us whom a February was very tragic. It's gets a bit easier each year, but there are still moments that it seems like yesterday.
or
My "first son", the one whom was born when I was in college - and I got to see in Oahu last summer called the other day. He's still stationed in Hawaii. "Aunt Leasa, instead of going home this summer, can I just come stay with you in Kona?" Then later seeing a post on his Facebook page "Sorry, I can't do that this summer, I'm staying in Hawaii with my Aunt at her beach house"
or
A sweet girl in California sending pictures from last summer. Missing us. Hating the "politics of high school". Wanting to plan our summer.
or
Another sweet teenage girl still in Hawaii, wanting to know when we are getting back. "There is JUST so much to tell"......
I didn't have the heart to tell any of them, "we have to find a different house this summer"
I guess we all get the February blues. But this month, I'm going to own it. I just need to breathe and tell my tribe to breathe too.
We will make it through February. I can hear the ocean telling me that now....
Sunday, February 2, 2014
What an idea
I'm on the elliptical this morning. Exercise really does clear my head.
By the end of the 30 minutes, my head was clear and my body was smelly. But here is what I was thinking during the workout:
All this went through my mind. Then I got off the elliptical.
The oxygen came back to brain. Those all sound like HORRIBLE ideas. We need to go home. We will figure it out.
(I told both boys all my thoughts - they both answered the same way "Those are horrible ideas, Mom. We need to home.")
I get it. I'm on it.
By the end of the 30 minutes, my head was clear and my body was smelly. But here is what I was thinking during the workout:
"This is all okay. Maybe we won't go back to Kona this summer. We can go to another island? There are many places in this WORLD we can go. There are many other islands. We can try a new place. Or maybe we should go to Puerto Rico? It's still in the states, I could still work, yet we still have the beach.
Or maybe, let's road trip this summer. We could leave Denver, head to Sedona (to see our former neighbor from Hawaii). Stay in Sedona for a bit. Head to California. Stay with some friends out there. Then head back through Vegas, then to Salt Lake City, then back to Denver.
Or maybe, we go back to Texas this summer. We drive to Dallas, then head down to the beach with Carolyn and her daughter."
All this went through my mind. Then I got off the elliptical.
The oxygen came back to brain. Those all sound like HORRIBLE ideas. We need to go home. We will figure it out.
(I told both boys all my thoughts - they both answered the same way "Those are horrible ideas, Mom. We need to home.")
I get it. I'm on it.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Falling
"I have 'fallen' through my entire life."
I said this to my running buddy the other day. He replied, "What do you mean?" I replied, "I have FALLEN through my entire life. I suddenly say I want to do something, then I make it happen. I don't plan for years and years. I just make it happen. Then it happens."
Things for me happen backwards.
When I "plan and organize my life". By that I mean, follow the schedule and plan everyone else needs us to follow - it doesn't work for me. If I completely "upset the apple cart", well, it works for me. The "I have no money, I'm out of shape, but I'm going to Paris and I'm going to run a marathon in 90 days." Well, that works for me.
Once you realize that your life works that way. It works much better.....
Friday, January 31, 2014
The End of an Era
All good things must come to an end. At least, that is what they tell us.
I've never believed it. Why can't good things last?
Yes, we can't have that same "high" forever. Things evolve. The "shine" wears off. It "dulls".
I agree. I also disagree.
All good things don't end, they evolve. They change. If we are lucky, they change for the better. Sometimes, for the worse. Or just not the greatest.
We are human. It's okay. Me? Personally? I think it's best when we understand things change and evolve, as we grow.
I'm a very lucky person. I have friends I've known for over 20 years. A few close to 30. But the most remarkable thing about these friends? They aren't my friends because of how long we have known each other, but more, we are incredible friends - it's just a bonus we have known each other this long. I have great friends.
Why stay in a friendship just because of the history? I stay, well, because, I'm a friend. I can tell you though, even if I've know someone for 30 years, they aren't my friend because of that. It's because, we evolved together.
Sometimes, friendships change. Sometime they end.
The house in Hawaii is for sale.
Of course it is. Could this really last forever?
This part of the journey I didn't know I was on is coming to an end. I'm not sure what to do. I'm sad. I'm okay, things change.
Sometimes, life takes you to a place you never thought you would end up. Much less change your whole life.
I've been to the Valley. The Island. The Desert. The Mountains. The Ocean.
All on one island. And a million islands in between.
I'd like to be my optimistic self, because that is whom I really am, but this time, I feel a hole has been ripped from my soul.
Messages have already been put out to see if we can do something different. Maybe it's time for something different. I've heard there are a couple of other rooms available on the island.
Or maybe, the universe is telling me, I can make this happen in a different way. Or I can walk away. I've had the tools the whole time....
This island had to teach me, some things are worth it all.....
I've never believed it. Why can't good things last?
Yes, we can't have that same "high" forever. Things evolve. The "shine" wears off. It "dulls".
I agree. I also disagree.
All good things don't end, they evolve. They change. If we are lucky, they change for the better. Sometimes, for the worse. Or just not the greatest.
We are human. It's okay. Me? Personally? I think it's best when we understand things change and evolve, as we grow.
I'm a very lucky person. I have friends I've known for over 20 years. A few close to 30. But the most remarkable thing about these friends? They aren't my friends because of how long we have known each other, but more, we are incredible friends - it's just a bonus we have known each other this long. I have great friends.
Why stay in a friendship just because of the history? I stay, well, because, I'm a friend. I can tell you though, even if I've know someone for 30 years, they aren't my friend because of that. It's because, we evolved together.
Sometimes, friendships change. Sometime they end.
The house in Hawaii is for sale.
Of course it is. Could this really last forever?
This part of the journey I didn't know I was on is coming to an end. I'm not sure what to do. I'm sad. I'm okay, things change.
Sometimes, life takes you to a place you never thought you would end up. Much less change your whole life.
I've been to the Valley. The Island. The Desert. The Mountains. The Ocean.
All on one island. And a million islands in between.
I'd like to be my optimistic self, because that is whom I really am, but this time, I feel a hole has been ripped from my soul.
Messages have already been put out to see if we can do something different. Maybe it's time for something different. I've heard there are a couple of other rooms available on the island.
Or maybe, the universe is telling me, I can make this happen in a different way. Or I can walk away. I've had the tools the whole time....
This island had to teach me, some things are worth it all.....
Thursday, January 30, 2014
A weekend in Vail
Nothing like a weekend in Vail to restore your inner beauty. Restore it in a way that makes you realize how you really SHOULD feel - on the inside and the outside.
My best friend came to town for the weekend. A much over needed girls time. No kids this time. Although we did go to Duncan's hockey game and then to lunch with the boys. Her daughter didn't come on this trip.
Just us. Just like we were there through all these years. Of course, now we are "more mature". Oh yeah? Not to worry, we aren't believing it either.
We have our night out in Cherry Creek. We sleep in. We see the boys.
What are we doing now? I don't know, what do you want to do? Want to have dinner in Vail? (it's about an hour and a half drive - on a clear dry day).
We can stay with Rob and Deb. Or I can see if my running buddy is at his house? (He wasn't there, but said we could stay at the house)
Okay, well, let's go.
We stay in the most incredible house, right on the creek in East Vail at the base of the mountain. A picturesque scene from a movie. And it turns out, my friend Rob actually designed, delivered and installed the kitchens, bathrooms and woodwork in the house.
We stayed out late. We slept until noon. We woke up to go out for lunch.
Then we went to the bar we always visit for Apres Ski (the one where one time we knocked on the window for them to let us in as it was closed for a private party. More here). Apres Ski (after ski) only you don't have to ski to show up during this time.
It's "high season" in Vail. Great snow. The places are crowded. And well, how do we put this, this is the place "groups of guys" go on vacation. If you think about it, you either have groups of guys on golf trips or ski trips. I don't ever remember meeting a group of guys (over the age of 30) on a trip to the beach.
And then, the next thing you know, we are the most beautiful women in the bar. Of course, we are the only women in the bar. But, it doesn't matter. Everyone has the ski adrenaline running. The vacation vibe flowing through their veins. Everyone is singing along to the piano singer like we were in a bar in college. Father/son trips. "Traditional trips" - the same guys have been coming to the valley for 20 years. The stories are all the same. Everyone is anonymous. (Yet, you are sitting with CEO's of companies, Firemen from NY and Oil riggers from Texas - and everything in between). People are just being friendly, wonderful people. Reminding us how great life can be.
We've met some great people in Vail over the years. They help you breathe. This trip helped us learn things once again:
My best friend came to town for the weekend. A much over needed girls time. No kids this time. Although we did go to Duncan's hockey game and then to lunch with the boys. Her daughter didn't come on this trip.
Just us. Just like we were there through all these years. Of course, now we are "more mature". Oh yeah? Not to worry, we aren't believing it either.
We have our night out in Cherry Creek. We sleep in. We see the boys.
What are we doing now? I don't know, what do you want to do? Want to have dinner in Vail? (it's about an hour and a half drive - on a clear dry day).
We can stay with Rob and Deb. Or I can see if my running buddy is at his house? (He wasn't there, but said we could stay at the house)
Okay, well, let's go.
We stay in the most incredible house, right on the creek in East Vail at the base of the mountain. A picturesque scene from a movie. And it turns out, my friend Rob actually designed, delivered and installed the kitchens, bathrooms and woodwork in the house.
We stayed out late. We slept until noon. We woke up to go out for lunch.
Then we went to the bar we always visit for Apres Ski (the one where one time we knocked on the window for them to let us in as it was closed for a private party. More here). Apres Ski (after ski) only you don't have to ski to show up during this time.
It's "high season" in Vail. Great snow. The places are crowded. And well, how do we put this, this is the place "groups of guys" go on vacation. If you think about it, you either have groups of guys on golf trips or ski trips. I don't ever remember meeting a group of guys (over the age of 30) on a trip to the beach.
And then, the next thing you know, we are the most beautiful women in the bar. Of course, we are the only women in the bar. But, it doesn't matter. Everyone has the ski adrenaline running. The vacation vibe flowing through their veins. Everyone is singing along to the piano singer like we were in a bar in college. Father/son trips. "Traditional trips" - the same guys have been coming to the valley for 20 years. The stories are all the same. Everyone is anonymous. (Yet, you are sitting with CEO's of companies, Firemen from NY and Oil riggers from Texas - and everything in between). People are just being friendly, wonderful people. Reminding us how great life can be.
We've met some great people in Vail over the years. They help you breathe. This trip helped us learn things once again:
- Vail looks just as pretty as it did 10 years ago, only we appreciate it more
- People are generally friendly. Everyone is having fun, and it's fun to be around fun people.
- We don't go back to the house to change clothes once we've left. So, if we leave the house, we better be prepared to stay out. (we knew that this time - we've learned that lesson)
- Vail is really just Disneyland - for adults. Only better.
- It looks just like you expect it to look.
- You aren't on VACATION - it's called "Vailcation"
- We actually met a "Jimmy Cappuccino" Yes, that was his real name. And the only true irony would really be if I married this guy and I lived on a Coffee Farm in Kona. I still wouldn't drink coffee. But what a great story - how can you not smile when you say I met "Jimmy Cappuccino"??
- You are thankful for the fact that the Red Lion has bad lighting and guys still think we are in our 30's.
- You appreciate Vail most when you are with your best friend.
- The odds will always be good. Just don't ever forget, the goods are still odd.
As we stumbled to the shuttle at the end of the evening for the ride back to our Vail house. We decided, in our next life, well, we are coming back as us.
Isn't that what a weekend is supposed to do for you?
Monday, January 20, 2014
Look how far you've come
Both my sons were in hockey tournaments over the weekend. One was out of town. One was in town.
In the tournament world, you are "guaranteed" four games. If your team does well, you proceed to the play-off game. Then again, a championship game.
I did not attend Nolan's games. From Friday morning until Sunday morning, I attended four hockey games. They won all of them. I was then at the rink at 7am thing morning. They won that game too.
Side note here: I LOVE sports. I love it all. But, I'm like any parent, I'm glad they are winning, but well, losing, would it be all bad? (yes, parents other than me have admitted the same thing).
Championship game was at 1:00pm this afternoon. Let me add this up for you. Hockey has 3 periods - at this age level, they play three 15 minute periods. SO, by this afternoon, end of second period I had attended 225 minutes of hockey play time, plus 2 minutes of overtime in one game PLUS 30 minutes into the game we are watching. We are now at 257 minutes of hockey in 36 hours.
This does NOT include warm-up time, drive time or anything else. This is shear on the ice time.
We have 15 minutes left. We are up 1-0. Everyone is exhausted.
One of the dad's states the fact "We have 15 minutes left". Yes, in the world of sports that is a VERY long time. ANY thing can happen.
I turned around and said, "Yes, but look how far we have come!" We have already played 257 minutes - we only have 15 minutes left - that's nothing.
He replies, "You really are a glass full type of person aren't you??". I replied, "I'm used to training for things - I know you aren't supposed to look back - and if you do, it's just to see how far you have come".
BTW, they won the championship. And for this sports enthusiast, 6 hockey games and 2 NFL games later, I'm exhausted.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Where have you been?
If you are a regular reader, I've been here. While, I've been HERE, I haven't been "out there in the real world".
I haven't been going out. I haven't been seeing my friends. I've been in the "library". Although, for me, the Library isn't a healthy place to be. I do better out there in the world. Yes, maybe I needed to recharge, but I still need to be amongst the living. Not squirreled away at hockey games and on my couch.
Two weeks ago - the boys had hockey to attend on a Wednesday or Thursday night. I decided I was going to take off my yoga pants - actually put on slacks - well, at least leggings and go out while they were at practice.
I can do this. I have no problem going out by myself. I'm not there to "pick up" anyone. I just want to talk. I'm a friendly person.
I walk in to my favorite old restaurant - the manager comes over and gives me a hug. She had been a waitress at this same restaurant several years ago.
She remembered my name and commented on "I haven't seen you in forever". The truth is I recognized her immediately, but couldn't remember her name.
I walk to the bar and grab a seat next to two guys I knew from the club where I work out.
I left 2 hours later - I didn't pay for a thing. Someone else picked up my check.
The next week, I went back to meet some other friends. We got preferential treatment. A great table and a very fun time.
I'm not sure where I have been, but I'm back.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Penny's from Heaven
I remember reading a poem YEARS ago. By years, I mean, at LEAST ten, maybe even more.
And I find penny's. Not all the time. Random times.
Last year, my grandfather passed away. When I came home from the funeral, I had been home for about two days. I went to one of those "sprayer car wash places". You know, pay $2.00 rinse the car off and call it clean. It's really hard to keep your car clean in Colorado. As when you wash it, well, the next day it will snow, then the car is dirty again. In the summer, it rains every afternoon.
My Papo used to tell me to wash my headlights - it helped let the light shine. I remembered that every time I washed my car.
This time, while washing the car, there were two pennies on the ground in front of the headlights - one for each headlight. It made me smile. Thanks Papo. I knew you were in Heaven and had let me know.
I went to a funeral on January 4th. A death way to young. His name was Guy. He was 36 years old. It was a beautiful service. We had worked together at the last start up I helped. He was wound tighter than anyone I know. He had 5 heart attacks in 24 hours. Declared brain dead. His organs were all donated and the service was moved until after the new year.
Yesterday, I was at a hockey rink - one of the other employees was there too. I walked in late and had to run to the restroom. As I was going in, I looked down and there was bright, shiny penny. It had the year 2013 on it. The year Guy died.
I picked it up. After going to the restroom, I found the other mom and gave her the penny. I told her it was from Guy. I asked her if she knew about the "Penny's from Heaven". She didn't know. I explained that this was her penny from Guy.
Today at the club where I work out, there was a penny again - on the floor in front of my locker. Facing heads up - bright & shiny with the year 2013 on it. This one was for me.
Thanks Guy!
My favorite "Penny from Heaven" story? Yes, even more than the two above.
About 13 years ago, a dear family friend of mine lost his step-son. The son had fallen asleep at the wheel. He never knew what happened.
Needless to say, this was a very tragic time in our families lives. My dear friend was completely distraught. Life was a mess for several years.
Several years later, we went skiing. Me, him, my boys. It was his first time skiing since his son had died. You see, skiing was something they did together. Something they did every weekend. It was "their" thing.
It was an emotional day. It was a great day.
The boys were finishing ski school - we were walking back to the truck to put our stuff away. On top of the snow, in the middle of the street - ALMOST to the car, there was a penny. I stopped and picked it up. My friend was in front of me. He was already by the car.
I hear this "WHAT are you doing?". "There is penny", I replied. "Seriously?" He said, "You stopped to pick up a penny?". "What year was Josh (the step-son) born in?" "Oh, I don't know 77?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Me, "Josh sent us a penny." "WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
I tell him the penny story. I ramble for a bit on all the pennies I've found from angels I've known. All of them. I haven't NOT found a penny from an angel I've known here on Earth.
The penny date was a year off. He said, "Josh would have figured that was close enough".
It went like this:
I found a penny today
just laying on the ground
But it’s not just a penny
this little coin I’ve found“Found” pennies come from heaven
that’s what my Grandpa told me
He said angels toss them down
oh, how I loved that storyHe said when an angel misses you
they toss a penny down
Sometimes just to cheer you up
make a smile out of your frownSo don’t pass by that penny
when you’re feeling blue
It may be a penny from heaven
that an angel tossed to you.- – - written by Charles L. Mashburn
Copyright © 1998 C Mashburn
Read more at Poem : Pennies from Heaven
And I find penny's. Not all the time. Random times.
Last year, my grandfather passed away. When I came home from the funeral, I had been home for about two days. I went to one of those "sprayer car wash places". You know, pay $2.00 rinse the car off and call it clean. It's really hard to keep your car clean in Colorado. As when you wash it, well, the next day it will snow, then the car is dirty again. In the summer, it rains every afternoon.
My Papo used to tell me to wash my headlights - it helped let the light shine. I remembered that every time I washed my car.
This time, while washing the car, there were two pennies on the ground in front of the headlights - one for each headlight. It made me smile. Thanks Papo. I knew you were in Heaven and had let me know.
I went to a funeral on January 4th. A death way to young. His name was Guy. He was 36 years old. It was a beautiful service. We had worked together at the last start up I helped. He was wound tighter than anyone I know. He had 5 heart attacks in 24 hours. Declared brain dead. His organs were all donated and the service was moved until after the new year.
Yesterday, I was at a hockey rink - one of the other employees was there too. I walked in late and had to run to the restroom. As I was going in, I looked down and there was bright, shiny penny. It had the year 2013 on it. The year Guy died.
I picked it up. After going to the restroom, I found the other mom and gave her the penny. I told her it was from Guy. I asked her if she knew about the "Penny's from Heaven". She didn't know. I explained that this was her penny from Guy.
Today at the club where I work out, there was a penny again - on the floor in front of my locker. Facing heads up - bright & shiny with the year 2013 on it. This one was for me.
Thanks Guy!
My favorite "Penny from Heaven" story? Yes, even more than the two above.
About 13 years ago, a dear family friend of mine lost his step-son. The son had fallen asleep at the wheel. He never knew what happened.
Needless to say, this was a very tragic time in our families lives. My dear friend was completely distraught. Life was a mess for several years.
Several years later, we went skiing. Me, him, my boys. It was his first time skiing since his son had died. You see, skiing was something they did together. Something they did every weekend. It was "their" thing.
It was an emotional day. It was a great day.
The boys were finishing ski school - we were walking back to the truck to put our stuff away. On top of the snow, in the middle of the street - ALMOST to the car, there was a penny. I stopped and picked it up. My friend was in front of me. He was already by the car.
I hear this "WHAT are you doing?". "There is penny", I replied. "Seriously?" He said, "You stopped to pick up a penny?". "What year was Josh (the step-son) born in?" "Oh, I don't know 77?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Me, "Josh sent us a penny." "WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
I tell him the penny story. I ramble for a bit on all the pennies I've found from angels I've known. All of them. I haven't NOT found a penny from an angel I've known here on Earth.
The penny date was a year off. He said, "Josh would have figured that was close enough".
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Winter Training
Training in the winter is different then training in the spring, summer and fall. At least for me. I live in Denver.
We get four seasons. We GET winter. It snows. It is cold. We do get lots of sunshine. We do get 50 degree days.
Just not every day.
I HATE running on the treadmill. Really, I don't like running. Well, I mean I do, but I don't. We have a love/hate relationship. Only I never really get to the "love" stage - more to the "I like you, like you" stage.
So, I'm training for something I said I didn't want to do again until 2016. And it's winter. And I have less than 90 days to get ready.
But, I'm doing it. I'm training for a marathon. I put together my training schedule:
| Week | MON | TUES | WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | |||
| 6-Jan | 1 | Rest | 4.5 | 6.5 | 10 | 21 | ||||
| 13-Jan | 2 | Rest | 4 | 6 | 4 | cross | 8 | cross | 22 | |
| 20-Jan | 3 | Rest | 4 | 7 | 4 | cross | 10 | cross | 25 | |
| 27-Jan | 4 | Rest | 4 | 7 | 4 | cross | 11 | cross | 26 | |
| 3-Feb | 5 | Rest | 4 | 8 | 4 | cross | 12 | cross | 28 | |
| 10-Feb | 6 | Rest | 5 | 8 | 5 | cross | 14 | cross | 32 | |
| 17-Feb | 7 | Rest | 5 | 10 | 5 | cross | 16 | cross | 36 | |
| 24-Feb | 8 | Rest | 5 | 12 | 5 | cross | 18 | cross | 40 | |
| 3-Mar | 9 | Rest | 5 | 10 | 5 | cross | 20 | cross | 40 | |
| 10-Mar | 10 | Rest | 5 | 12 | 5 | cross | 17 | cross | 39 | |
| 17-Mar | 11 | Rest | 5 | 8 | 5 | cross | 15 | cross | 33 | |
| 24-Mar | 12 | Rest | 4 | 8 | 4 | cross | 12 | cross | 28 | |
| 31-Mar | 13 | Rest | 3 mile | 2 mile | 20 minutes | STROLL THROUGH PARIS | 31.2 | |||
| 401.2 | ||||||||||
This is just my guide. I should have made it equal 414.2 miles, but I don't really want to run those extra 13 miles. It would have had to be an extra 14 miles - then the numbers wouldn't have been even. I'm not really even going to run 401.2 miles as I'm already behind.
I'm kinda on track. I ran 6 miles today. Only 2 yesterday, but I also went to yoga. Today I had to wear a hat and gloves and walk around ice on the trail.
Good things: It's not too hot
I don't have to get up and run at 4:30 in the morning to avoid the heat.
I'm not near as dehydrated.
The mountains look incredible with the snow on top of them.
And when I run in Paris, in April, I can leave all these winter clothes at the start line.......
Friday, January 10, 2014
Doing this Backwards
I didn't have any adventures last year. Last year was about getting through it. It's over now.
One of the things I've realized about my life: if I plan it, I will make it happen. It's a goal. So, I'm now planning the first six months of this year. Let me tell you, I'm booked already.
Carolyn visits in January
Vegas in February - for a hockey tournament (I haven't booked the flights, but I have to go)
March - Moab annual camping trip.
The start of April, I'm going to Paris. I'm running another marathon. My running buddy whom wants to go. The things I do for trips.
End of April - Granny/Leasa birthday trip to Nashville. A half-marathon.
May - St Louis to see my nephews graduate high school.
The Hawaii people are going to come stay in my house while I'm in Moab/Paris. As of right now, they don't think they are coming for the summer. I have a feeling though, they will be here. And if not, I've already started looking for other people to swap with. I'm not quite ready to give up our Hawaii summers.
The boys and I did talk briefly about going another place. Trying a new adventure. We just aren't quite done with our old one yet.
NOW - I have this all planned. I'm all committed to all sorts of people. I'm in.
As I look back at my life, I plan it, then I figure out how to pay for it. If I don't plan it, I don't have extra money sitting around. I won't have any money AND I won't have done anything (best example is the year 2013).
So, I'm booked. I'm planned. Now to go find the money......
One of the things I've realized about my life: if I plan it, I will make it happen. It's a goal. So, I'm now planning the first six months of this year. Let me tell you, I'm booked already.
Carolyn visits in January
Vegas in February - for a hockey tournament (I haven't booked the flights, but I have to go)
March - Moab annual camping trip.
The start of April, I'm going to Paris. I'm running another marathon. My running buddy whom wants to go. The things I do for trips.
End of April - Granny/Leasa birthday trip to Nashville. A half-marathon.
May - St Louis to see my nephews graduate high school.
The Hawaii people are going to come stay in my house while I'm in Moab/Paris. As of right now, they don't think they are coming for the summer. I have a feeling though, they will be here. And if not, I've already started looking for other people to swap with. I'm not quite ready to give up our Hawaii summers.
The boys and I did talk briefly about going another place. Trying a new adventure. We just aren't quite done with our old one yet.
NOW - I have this all planned. I'm all committed to all sorts of people. I'm in.
As I look back at my life, I plan it, then I figure out how to pay for it. If I don't plan it, I don't have extra money sitting around. I won't have any money AND I won't have done anything (best example is the year 2013).
So, I'm booked. I'm planned. Now to go find the money......
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
2014
14 goals for 2014.
Each goal then has 14 parts.
But first, let me tell you about 2013. It was about time. It was Deux Time. Time to start over. Time to breathe. Time to just let go. Or hang on longer than I should. Well, of course, that's what I deux......
I'm sure I remember a year in the past that I wanted to be over. But for some reason, it wasn't last year.
HOWEVER, last year, well, is OVER.
So, for this year, I'm starting with my theme again. Knowing full well, well this "isn't what I meant".
It's the year of 14. 14 things - and each of those is another 14. But we count both sides. There AND back as TWO. Just because we go, doesn't mean we have to go back - so, here goes:
14 miles per week - running that is - more details to follow
14 random acts of kindness
14 pounds to lose
14 thank you notes to write
14 trips (7 round trip. As we know, I've booked MANY a ONE way tickets in my life)
14 placements (work)
14 things to acquire (me, the SO non-materialistic girl - I will acquire maybe, 14 places place my STUFF). Afterall, I bought a juicer this year.
I count each of those as double. As it's only 7, but really 14. You have to count there AND back.
Tomorrow, I'm buying 14 pairs of new panties. It's time (I should have done this last year). It's new.
It really has nothing to do with panties. It's all about new.
I don't know when I've ever done one thing. I'm doing 14 new things this year.
Each goal then has 14 parts.
But first, let me tell you about 2013. It was about time. It was Deux Time. Time to start over. Time to breathe. Time to just let go. Or hang on longer than I should. Well, of course, that's what I deux......
I'm sure I remember a year in the past that I wanted to be over. But for some reason, it wasn't last year.
HOWEVER, last year, well, is OVER.
So, for this year, I'm starting with my theme again. Knowing full well, well this "isn't what I meant".
It's the year of 14. 14 things - and each of those is another 14. But we count both sides. There AND back as TWO. Just because we go, doesn't mean we have to go back - so, here goes:
14 miles per week - running that is - more details to follow
14 random acts of kindness
14 pounds to lose
14 thank you notes to write
14 trips (7 round trip. As we know, I've booked MANY a ONE way tickets in my life)
14 placements (work)
14 things to acquire (me, the SO non-materialistic girl - I will acquire maybe, 14 places place my STUFF). Afterall, I bought a juicer this year.
I count each of those as double. As it's only 7, but really 14. You have to count there AND back.
Tomorrow, I'm buying 14 pairs of new panties. It's time (I should have done this last year). It's new.
It really has nothing to do with panties. It's all about new.
I don't know when I've ever done one thing. I'm doing 14 new things this year.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
The Unrequited love
The love we can't have. The love we had for a "moment", but we couldn't/didn't hold on to it. For some reason, the timing just isn't right.
It's is story of my life. Right time. Wrong place. Right place - wrong time.
I'm not talking about my flirting friend. I'm talking about a time and a place and it wasn't meant to be. Or at least not, right now.
We've all had those. So instead of really
But this story is not about me. It's about my son. He got a taste of the "unrequited love" of life. They "I want you to be my girlfriend" and instead of saying yes. She said nothing. Too scared to say yes (after all, they were 14), but not wanting to let him go. Then, when she wanted "more", well, it was too late.
The back and forth game begins.
There is this website with teenagers called ask.fm Then you ad your "handle". and you can "anonymously" ask anyone on this site anything. Although, as we know, nothing on the Internet is "anonymous".
So, she's posting all over the place of how in love she is. Then he posts "I'm in love". Well, she doesn't like this. Of course she doesn't. All I can think is "I want you to still be missing me - even though I'm out living my life, you need to miss me".
I remember being that girl.
You scare me to death. Only, I want you here with me - while I go play. (Much like their mom and dad's). But just remember, while you are "out there" looking - the one you missed out on, well, was the one you had in the first place. Don't spend your whole life wondering what it "would have been like". Don't miss your chance.
If you aren't smart enough to realize it the first time, realize it the second time....
Friday, January 3, 2014
Flirting is Free
What is it about the Lifetime Network movies that suck you in? (I think it's now called LMN - versus Lifetime)
These are bad "Made for TV Movies", whom usually start out okay. Then after the first twist or 20 minutes, well, they are dreadful. If you try starting one in the middle, it just doesn't work. If you start, at well, the start, they in some way, hook you in. Then next thing you know, it's two hours later and you are crying because you watched this movie.
Almost five years ago, I started watching a Lifetime movie - it was called "Flirting with Forty". Oh, what's her name. Heather Locklear was the lead. It was a summer day. We still had real cable back then. Not the "ghetto cable" (as the boys call it) we have today. (They should consider themselves lucky - we are about to get rid of cable and "stream" TV)
I digress.
I get sucked into this movie. Long story short: Heather goes to Hawaii and meets a young surf instructor and ends up flying back and forth. They break up. Then one day he shows up IN DENVER - Because, THAT IS WHERE SHE LIVED.
Remind you now, this was BEFORE my little Hawaii adventure. I just remember watching the movie and being really jealous. Then I discovered she was "living in Denver" - then I was just pissed. I'm sure the movie isn't very "good", but in my mind, well, you can see, I still remember it. (Yes, she was divorced and had two kids).
Then next thing you know. Well, okay, not really. It was two years later, my adventure to Hawaii began. I was "Flirting in my 40's".
I'm a good flirt. It's fun to flirt. And truthfully, I'm more "talk". Don't get me wrong, I've gotten into my share of trouble from flirting, but really, it's fun to flirt.
Flirting makes you feel like a million bucks. You feel attractive. They feel attractive. The best flirting is all that is done - then left alone. It was free. No need to act.
This New Years Eve we were on our annual pilgrimage to see friends we always see. To the New Years Eve party we have attended for the last 5 years (minus 1). My "brothers" were there. My sons were too. Some other great friends we've met over the years too. AND, my flirting buddy.
We met with this group years ago. He's married. He's got kids. (They were still out of town from the holiday's). He's a great looking guy - in shape, smart and successful. And we are attracted to each other.
But only in a flirting kind of way. In fact, we usually just say hi and smile - then walk in the other room.
This year though, we texted each other during the party. It was fun. It made me feel like a million bucks. Silly stuff - "I like your socks" - was one of the texts. "Thanks for trying to kill us when we were shooting off the fireworks" was another.
Nothing sexual. Nothing risque - unless you are counting "I'm going outside - do you have extra clothing I can borrow? Like your gloves." Just flirting.
Just like that - the night ended. That was the end of our flirting. Back to the real world.
Flirting is free.
These are bad "Made for TV Movies", whom usually start out okay. Then after the first twist or 20 minutes, well, they are dreadful. If you try starting one in the middle, it just doesn't work. If you start, at well, the start, they in some way, hook you in. Then next thing you know, it's two hours later and you are crying because you watched this movie.
Almost five years ago, I started watching a Lifetime movie - it was called "Flirting with Forty". Oh, what's her name. Heather Locklear was the lead. It was a summer day. We still had real cable back then. Not the "ghetto cable" (as the boys call it) we have today. (They should consider themselves lucky - we are about to get rid of cable and "stream" TV)
I digress.
I get sucked into this movie. Long story short: Heather goes to Hawaii and meets a young surf instructor and ends up flying back and forth. They break up. Then one day he shows up IN DENVER - Because, THAT IS WHERE SHE LIVED.
Remind you now, this was BEFORE my little Hawaii adventure. I just remember watching the movie and being really jealous. Then I discovered she was "living in Denver" - then I was just pissed. I'm sure the movie isn't very "good", but in my mind, well, you can see, I still remember it. (Yes, she was divorced and had two kids).
Then next thing you know. Well, okay, not really. It was two years later, my adventure to Hawaii began. I was "Flirting in my 40's".
I'm a good flirt. It's fun to flirt. And truthfully, I'm more "talk". Don't get me wrong, I've gotten into my share of trouble from flirting, but really, it's fun to flirt.
Flirting makes you feel like a million bucks. You feel attractive. They feel attractive. The best flirting is all that is done - then left alone. It was free. No need to act.
This New Years Eve we were on our annual pilgrimage to see friends we always see. To the New Years Eve party we have attended for the last 5 years (minus 1). My "brothers" were there. My sons were too. Some other great friends we've met over the years too. AND, my flirting buddy.
We met with this group years ago. He's married. He's got kids. (They were still out of town from the holiday's). He's a great looking guy - in shape, smart and successful. And we are attracted to each other.
But only in a flirting kind of way. In fact, we usually just say hi and smile - then walk in the other room.
This year though, we texted each other during the party. It was fun. It made me feel like a million bucks. Silly stuff - "I like your socks" - was one of the texts. "Thanks for trying to kill us when we were shooting off the fireworks" was another.
Nothing sexual. Nothing risque - unless you are counting "I'm going outside - do you have extra clothing I can borrow? Like your gloves." Just flirting.
Just like that - the night ended. That was the end of our flirting. Back to the real world.
Flirting is free.
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