I couldn't tell you his name, or what city he lives in, but I remember thinking "at what point did his life make a turn and he was now a cross country truck driver?" He wasn't a fit for the position. I never spoke to him. But still to this day, I think of him. Did he always want to drive a truck - then the finally decided to do it? Did something happen and it was the only job he could find? For the longest time, I thought he had gotten lost on his career path.
My ex-husband is a great guy. He's a great father. Yes, we annoy each other and we are different people, but in the "bones" of our relationship - he's good. We had a good marriage. We have beautiful sons. I use to tell people all the time - WE just got lost. The things that were supposed to be important, became less important to me. I wanted different thing than I wanted before. We got lost. Or maybe I got lost.
The song from the J. Giles Band always makes me think of my marriage:
Well, I must of got lost, I must of got lost
I must of got lost somewhere down the line
Now, I think, maybe that truck driver had it okay. I'm going with the theory, he always wanted to be a truck driver - he only went the way society wanted him to go. Maybe he had finally lived his dream.
When the boys were little, we were driving home from preschool. There was a man standing on the corner holding a sign. Nolan was still in a car seat. In fact, I know Duncan was still in at least a booster seat too. They asked me about the man on the corner and why he was holding up a sign.
I went into this politically correct speech:
Sometimes we make bad choices in life. And it leads us to bad places.
Sometimes we are hard on our luck and need others to help us.
Figuring I had covered a couple of scenarios, not judged, but given the boys enough information.
I don't remember which one said this. They don't remember the conversation. But, one of them said,
No, I think he's just lost. I replied "What?" "He's holding up a sign asking for directions."
Yes, my dear, sometimes we are just lost. Nothing more. Nothing less. We all get lost. Sometimes, we just need to ask directions.