Sunday, September 8, 2013

Even for me

My life is bit misunderstood by the general population.

No, I don't have a "job".  A place where you go work Monday thru Friday from 8am to 5pm.  You live by your Blackberry/iPhone,etc.  I work when I need to work.  Yes, I push it too far.  I wait until things are tight, then I work really, really hard to recover.  I get a big paycheck, then I'm off to play again.  Really, I should balance it out more.  I do try.  Wow.  What would it be like to know there was a paycheck waiting for me every other Friday (or even twice a month).  I try. I get part-time jobs helping start up companies get up and running, but truly I love the freedom and flexibility my life allows.

My oldest son actually said today:  "Have you thought about a normal job now that we are older?"  Only, a job I would take would require travel.  And the boys are so close to being gone, I can't go away just yet.

So, then it would read, I don't have a "normal" job, so I can do everything I do for my sons.  Yet, I still do things for myself.  It's more of a "I don't HAVE to travel, I GET to travel".  If I GET to create my own experience, then I'm okay with it.

I ask.

The question most people say in their head.  They only don't say it aloud.  For example, one of my recent dating stories (longer explanations coming later) - we had gone on several bike rides.  Then I received a text telling me he had met someone else.  Truthfully, I thought he would make a better friend than a romantic interest, but we were having some great bike rides.  I thanked him for being honest with me.  THEN??? I send the ONE more text.  The one we all think, but don't act.  I would still love to bike ride, because as we said, we make good friends.  And now, I'm sure you have a friend you can set me up with.  He replied of course.  He won't set me up.  That's okay.  Or maybe he will.  But, if I didn't ask, he wouldn't have.  I had to nudge him along.  Most people couldn't/wouldn't ask the one more question.

I'm okay with my misunderstood life.  Because, sometimes, even for me, it gets even crazier.

Two weeks ago.  On a Wednesday afternoon.  I picked up Lily's mom at the airport in Denver.  You know - Lily.  My daughter during the summer.  The man I fell for in Kona - his ex-wife.  Yes, her.

Back story:  The night after I arrived home from Kona I went to dinner with an old friend in town from California.  I've known him for years.  Close to ten years.  Long story short - I texted Lily's mom from his phone and told them the two of them should meet.

The called each other.  They texted.  They had some fun.

He had to come back to Denver for work.  He bought her a ticket to Denver - for the night.  So we could all go to dinner together.  She could stay with me.  She could meet Duncan.  She had met my Granny and Nolan.

I'm all for the adventure.  I'm all for "sure, I'll go"  "sure, I'll do".  Name it.  I'm there.  I'm all about the experience.

I'm sitting at the cell phone parking lot at the airport.  I'm waiting for her text.  Even for me, this is a stretch.  I'm waiting for my ex-boyfriend's ex-wife to text me, so she can spend the night with us.  We can all go to dinner.  All get to know each other.

I was shaking my head.  Even for me.......

P.S. - The date crashed and burned.

I got to know Lily's mom (yes, I had met her before).  As I told her, this must be what "open adoptions" are like - I get to know the Mother/Mom of my "daughter".  She got to meet the "woman whom loves her daughter".  She got to meet her daughters "brothers".  It allowed me to appreciate another woman as a mother.  Another woman as a friend.

The really funny thing, it made me miss Lily's dad.  I could see how much she is like her daughter. (really, it's her daughter that is like her, but I knew Lily first).   I could see why he fell for Lily's mom.  I could remember the fun incredible guy I met one summer.  Not the grumpy guy from last summer.  It made us both sad.  This story could have us being friends and me being Lily's other mom and the woman whom made Lily's dad happy.  I guess that story was too much to ask.  Even for me.

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