Thursday, April 26, 2012

I'm face to face with the enemy

and it's me looking back in the mirror.

Whew, what a relief to say that out-loud. The truest part of that statement, well, it's the relief that I feel saying it out loud.

The only enemies we have in life, truly, are the one's we create.  I hate to break it to you.  But, only your mother cares that much about you.  Get over the rest.

There is a man in town whom I've been having lunch with.  I'm not sure how else to describe our friendship.  We have lunch once a week.  My goodness, is he a nice looking, nice dressed man.  He's 37.  And although, I can't tell you Canani from Murani - I know he's not shopping at Target...... (He would be SO offended if I told you that)   So, in other words:  He's a very well dressed man whom takes me to lunch.

That's it.

Oh, my is he handsome.  And wealthy.  AND........ a million other words we would like in our lives.  ONLY:  IT"S NOT THERE.



Then, even better, you remember a moment - at least 5 years ago when he was out with a woman, and you met him.  He's not going to remember you.  You met him in a "moment" at least 5 years ago.

There are several moments, I hope no one remembers me from.  The moment, I knew he knew this woman. Well, I hate to say this, but I had NO interest in ever seeing him again.  It's funny.  She's smart.  She's successful. There are lots of positives about her.  About him.

I've been recruiting now for 19 years and I know people.  People lie.  People tell the truth.  I'm almost 99% sure I can tell the difference.

AND I know real from not real. And if you are out with someone whom you shouldn't be and now "we're friends", well.....   

ONLY once have I been burned.  I thought my friend was a real friend, but he wasn't.  I just took it that GOD wanted me to meet the people in his life (they are still my friends).  This time.  Remember, I learned the lesson before.

Really, the funny thing is:  I'm a lot like this girl. Or am I?  At least I think I am.  I think I'm judging myself.  I'm looking at this woman like the rest of the world looks at me....


I'm prettier
more fun
and, well,

you get the idea.....

Maybe, I'm just Cinderella looking through the glass......

The worst thing:  I wrote this GREAT incredible story.  AND well all knew there was something missing.  The moment.  Quit tying to want more.  Just enjoy it.

The enemy,  she's going be on your side.  You know that.  Just breathe.

And I promise this is maturity.  It's only maturity because I can say this.  For the first time I believe it:

"I would rather you love  - even if that love doesn't include me"

She's looking back at me....

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