We often say "I wish I would have....". "We should have done/gone/etc...." "What if I had......" A bunch of questions re-guessing the way we live. Or the way we thought we should have lived. Could have lived. Were supposed to have lived.
Second guessing ourselves. Our lives. When in reality, the way we live, well, is the way we were supposed to live.
Yes, we all make mistakes. We also make really good decisions all the time. We just don't trust ourselves. We don't believe that our life - was - scratch that - is - supposed to be this way. Did I do the right thing?
I know it's hard. But really, our gut knows, make a decision. It is the right decision, regardless of other decisions. It's the right decision at the right time. We don't trust those moments often enough.
The last week has been one of the most emotional weeks of my life. My grandfather died. Tears. Laughter. Love. Sadness. Happiness.
As this week winds to a close. As I think of the past. As I think of the future. The emotions are mixed. The feelings are mixed too.
Then I started thinking of things I could do that my grandfather would like. You know, those "Oh, this one is for you Papo". The "My Papo would be so proud". The "He would have loved this".
I kept thinking about all the things I want to do in my life. My journeys yet to come. The adventures that are next for me. Each time I think of those moments I tried to place those thoughts there:
I'm hiking this.... (This one is for you) I'm running this.... (you get the idea) I'm volunteering to ..... I graduated from Texas A&M....... (oh yeah, I did that - he was there) I'm going to _____________ (fill in the blank)
There is not ONE SINGLE THING I can think of that I haven't already done that would make my Papo even more proud of me than he already was. There is also not one more thing I need to do to make him even more proud.
Now, THAT, is a life well lived.