Wednesday, August 29, 2012

That place

"You know that place between dreaming and awake?  That's the place I'll always think of you".    Said Tinkerbell to Peter Pan.

It's a special spot.  Not quite "not" real.  Yet, not "real".  Was it a dream?  Was it true?

It's that special place where our sub-conscience 'talks' to us.  We don't always hear it.  We don't always remember it.

Sometimes it's clear - very clear.  Then we wake up and two seconds later we have no idea what it was.  We just know it was powerful and we wanted to remember it.  Other times, it's clear and we remember it - it just doesn't make any sense.

THEN, one morning and we wake up.  We are in that spot.  We heard it and we remember it and everything makes sense.  FINALLY.    We then think "that's what you haven't been doing!!"  "That's what you have been trying to tell me".  Only I didn't know what to do with all the pieces of the puzzle.  It's finding the last piece of a puzzle.  An "Ah-ha" moment.

For me, someone very special holds that spot.  ALWAYS.  Always will.  Not quite real, not quite a dream, yet not awake in the real world either.  Drama then always follows.

He was in town this weekend.  Peter Pan.  He showed up, like he does - every few months.  If JM Barrie's story was verbatim  - he would show up only once a year.  My Peter Pan - he shows up several times a year.  Although he did "forget" to show up several years.  That's not really true.  I just kept the window shut and wouldn't let him in.  He was always there to knock on the window asking me to go to Neverland.

No, scratch that - he's never asked me to go to Neverland.  He wants to stay here (in part of his conscience).  I'm the safe place.

In the Disney version, Peter marries Wendy.  - at least in the sequel - "Hook".  But he forgot whom he really was.  That makes me sad.  We don't want Peter forgetting whom he really is.  Most of us spend our whole lives trying to figure out whom we really are - don't be happy Peter forgot those ways.....

And I'm here, wanting to go to Neverland.

Sorry, Peter, I will always love you, but you see, you keep thinking you need to escape Neverland.  It's just not in you.  And that's okay.  You will never accept it.  And I'll never "fit" into the picture of how it's "supposed" to be in the real world.  You are stuck - in between Neverland and the real world.  That place between dreaming and awake.

Only you keep trying to wake up.

But me, see I'm not really Wendy.  I'm one of the Lost Boys   Only, I know right where I'm supposed to be. Not asleep nor awake. I'm supposed to be at that place between dreaming and awake - Loving the real "Pan", whom truly never wanted to grow up. Not you, the Peter Pan, whom keeps trying to grow up.

Pan - you should have believed Tink.  She knew what she was talking about. 

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