Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Maiden Voyage

There are tons of thoughts for the "first time" or "have never done" you do something:

Maiden Voyage

They all sound "hopeful".  Full of excitement

What's a phrase for the "LAST TIME"?



Nothing about ending sounds, in any way shape or form, like anything positive. 

I thought and thought and thought.  Researched and asked.  I couldn't come up with a phrase I like about "The Last Time".  "Odyssey" came close - it's the final trip for a ship.  "The ship is on it's Odyssey".  Guess I'm not the only one whom doesn't like the "last time".

I'm getting better at throwing things away - I tend to hang on to things too long.  Two years ago I went skiing on Memorial Day weekend.  Yes, Memorial (M is for May) Day.  It was a fun day.  I needed new skis.  The only way I was going to buy new skis is if I got rid of my old ones.  They were old.  Way over due for new skis.  We go to leave at the end of the day.  I went to leave my skis on the deck.  The girlfriend I was with talked me into taking them.  "You will want them for 'rock' skiing in the fall".  I tried to explain I wouldn't.  I tried to explain I'm not good with endings.  We took them.  They are still in my garage.  I haven't skied since.  I knew.  I didn't need new ones.  I just didn't want the old ones. It would be better to leave them.

The beginning - we are all excited.  We don't know what is yet to come.  The END.  The finale.  We tend to view "the end" as looking back.  Over.  The past

My favorite sweatshirt?  It was a grey hoodie, zipper up the front.  (Irony here - I don't think grown-up's should wear hoodies).  It was worn around the cuffs - the armpits had holes under them.  It could no longer be worn outside the house.  It was ratty, stained, yet still couldn't be thrown away.

Sometimes when you run a race, you are cold when you start.  It's early.  Once you get warmed up - you are still chilled only knowing soon you need different things to keep you warm, safe, secure later in the race.  Those things you keep - you trained.  Your music.  The stuff that got you there.  Sometimes you have to leave stuff  behind.

I left the sweatshirt at the start line of my marathon in Greece.  The only way I knew I could leave it behind.  At the start of another journey.  I have to admit, I did turn and look back after I dropped it.  Maybe I was expecting a wave good-bye?

Recently sojourning home from chasing a sunset with a suitcase that had helped deliver me there.  It's time to let go again.  This time - it's a bright, royal blue suitcase that helped deliver me there.  Santa brought it to the boys years ago along with tickets to Disneyland.  The boys and I went on our "first journey" together into unknown territory.  Now the suitcase:  It's torn.  Worn out.  Beat up.  Full of memories.  It's made it's last journey.  I'm having trouble throwing it away. 

But it's not the suitcase that holds the memories.  It's me.  It's also not a sad moment.  It's happy.  "My oh my, the stories this suitcase could tell".

Maybe this time, it's being brave.  Bold.  Standing strong.  Realizing being sad about the good-bye does not prevent the parting, it just prolongs the good-bye.

The suitcase is unpacked.  I'm not leaving the suitcase - maybe this time, I can set something free.  Set it on the corner with a sign stating "FREE TO GOOD HOME".  My trash is another person's journey.  I'm not leaving.  I'm not telling anything they have to go. I'm being brave.  For me.  I'm walking to the curb.....Setting this Royal Blue suitcase free.

With all good-byes, there are new beginnings.  Voyages.  Journeys.  Firsts.

Sometimes there is beauty in the "last".  You don't have to go back.

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