Friday, May 3, 2013

I'm a cheating woman

Loyal.  I'm loyal to anyone and anything LONG after it's due.  Loyal to a fault.

"Give them ONE more chance"

Although I've gotten better the older I've become.   People will abuse their power.  People will over-step their boundaries in order to get what they want.  We all do it. We also all need to stop.  Stop stepping on people, things, situations, to get what we want.

Quitting is also hard.

Quitting is harder than hanging on. We try.  We do our best.  We give it our best shot.

BUT, sometimes, it's okay to quit.  Just walk away.  It's actually harder to quit.  It's easier to hang on.  Quiting is hard.  Difficult.  Because that's admitting you were wrong in the first place.  That's a difficult decision.

Although, you aren't quitting.  You are admitting - I no longer want to do this!  What power you have.  "I no longer want to do this".  It takes someone brave to admit "I no longer want to do this" 

Let me tell you what I no longer want to do:

Career Day at my kids school - although, last year I had the mayor come speak.  This year, I have a fantastic speaker lined up up speak too.  I DON"T WANT TO DO THIS ANY MORE

Volunteer - until, of course, prom.  I want to volunteer there.

Recruit.  I'm done. 

It's been a good ride.  It's been a great ride.  Recruiting:  Thank you for everything you gave me.  Thank you for the freedom.  The financial stability.  The.... well, everything.  Thank you for the high and lows.  BUT, I have to be honest, I've been cheating on you.

Well, I've been cheating on you for years.  I can't let you go, and I can't hang on any longer.  I'm in love. 

Love with the part-time job - he's promised me everything you said you were going to deliver.  Only once again, I have hope.  Hope is a bitch.  She's pretty though.  She's giving me the dreams you always said you were going to deliver. 

Until you can commit, I'm going to cheat.  I'm not a cheating woman.  I'm LOYAL.  Loyal to a fault.  Loyal to the point until I'm waiting for you to love me more than I love him.  Whomever shows up first wins the prize.. 

 For now though, I'm going to quit cheating.  I'm going to quit cheating on recruiting.  I hate to tell you this, but "We are breaking up".  IT"S OVER.

Mahalo for the memories.  The foresight.  Wow, I've loved you for a very long time.  I will always love you.  You perplex me these days though.  "What do you do?"  I'm a headhunter - that's my first response.  I also help companies with their start-up operations.

When you ask me what I do - I answer the truth "I'm a headhunter"  And part of me cringes.  That's not what I do.   That's also not whom I am.

I am mom.  I help companies get up and running.  I am loyal.  I cheat.  I lie.  But most of all, I'm honest.  I'm honest about cheating and lying.  I've done all.  But, most of all, I'm loyal.  Loyal to the very end.  Loyal until you understand I'm no longer cheating on you.  

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