Friday, March 21, 2014

I thought we were friends

Yesterday, I received a message from a guy I've worked with off/on for years.  The message states "Hey L, it's your friend Rob, call me.".  

I called him back today, stating:  "So, what's up with the "Your friend Rob"?  He replies, " Well, that is what you said in your message."  Hmmm.  "What are you talking about?".

You left me a message yesterday (we are doing some work together) and you said, "Hey, it's your friend L, call me. "

Really?

I don't normally mention "we are friends".  If I know you through work, I say, It' L, I'm the recruiter whom we have been e-mailing/phone tagging/texting/etc..".  This was just funny as I know him through work and we have known each other for over 10 years.  The only thing I could think of would be that I was in recruiter mode wanting to stay in that mode.

Too funny.

Although, the funeral I recently attended - my friend Leo calls to tell me about the death.  I never realized when he leaves me a message this is the message:  "Hey, it's your good buddy Leo" then it goes on with the message.  Like he needs to tell me he is my buddy.

A few years ago, Lily's dad was in Denver - on one of his three trips in 9 months to Denver - he was helping me repair things around the house.  We were talking about the kids.  On what they were really thinking when saw each other for the first time.  My thought  "What the hell is my mom doing now?"  My thought?  "Here are some new friends."  Lily's dad replied, "Friends you are going to have for the rest of your life."

I remember thinking, he really means that.  Not in a romantic sense.  He wasn't saying we would be together forever.  He was saying "THOSE PEOPLE" are friends you will have for the rest of your life.

I understand people change.  When I say, I hope we are friends for the rest of my life, I mean it.

The thing that makes me the saddest about my relationship with Lily's dad ending.  It's not the actually "see you next month" or "let's talk about football" or "how are you doing?"  It's the you told me we would be friends. It's the "I have friends from 30 years.".  I understand we don't need to talk with each other - you can stay with the woman whom doesn't want to be around your daughter and has made you stray from your core being.  You can stay there.  If the two of you are happy, I'm happy for you.

I miss the guy whom was in good shape.  Put his daughter and mother first.  A good role model for my sons. I miss him.  What I really miss is that I'm now short a friend.  When I say, "I hope we are friends for the rest of our life, well, I mean it."

Now we are just "those people" - and as your daughter will tell you, "Those people are my family".  We might not be family, but I thought we were friends.....





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