It's funny how time changes things.
I have been home six months. And now I'm mad at myself about summer.
This WAS supposed to be a summer of change! Reflection!! Yoga!!! Learning a new skill! A new way of thinking!!! I WASN'T supposed to go back to the real world and not take with me the things I learned.
I'm mad. I was supposed to learn something. I was supposed to change my way of thinking. If I could just have a month off, when I went back, everything would be ok. My day to day life is wonderful and I would remember that - I just needed a break.
I wasn't supposed to come back the same person!
Oh, that 's right. I didn't.
And maybe that's why life seems a little more difficult than easier. I changed, I grew, I learned and then I had to go back to my "real life". - Not expecting pity - my life is great. And for that, I will always be eternally grateful. I have worked hard, and I am blessed with an incredible support system.
I'm back and I do what we are supposed to do, but for a moment, the gypsy girl got to shine. I'm over needing to be the #1 sales person in the company. (I did that). I'm over the shoes, the clothes, the cars, the "things" that "enrich" your life. Truly, those things have always been things.
My life is blessed and I am very fortunate that life has worked out for me so well. I do give my self credit, I have worked hard to make it work out so well.
HOWEVER, the gypsy girl, whom I let out more and more each summer - is knocking at the door. She wants more. She is a drug that can't be fed. She wants her flip flops, she wants her beach towel. She's having a temper tantrum.
Haven't I given enough??? That sounds SO selfish.
Let the gypsy girl have her tantrum - then send her to her room. She's pouting. It's okay to pout. Let the grown up worry about the bills, about the schedules, about, about, about.
And what feeds the gypsy girl best - no, it's not a trip. It's planning the adventure. What she THINKS will happen....... That's all she really cares about. Let her out to plan - to dream, to imagine and to remember. Every day is a blessed day. Every day is wonderful - just look for the "majic". It happens in the most mysterious ways.....