Some place in between

I'm sitting here drinking a glass of wine and eating some Godiva chocolates.

Just for the record, I don't like chocolate.  Well, unless it's Godiva.  It's not plastic.  It's real.  It's creamy. No wax.

Yes, it still makes my face break out.  That's not why I don't like it.  I truly don't like the taste of chocolate.  Unless, well, it's the real stuff.  The stuff that makes you think, "ahhh, this is what I've been wanting".  The chocolate that sets off that endorphin's that makes you want even more.  A Hersey kiss?  I've been known to spit those out.  They are gross.  Every once in a while, I try one again.  Thinking, "maybe, it's not as bad as I remember"  What we forget though, is that, well, we didn't like it in the first place.  Why would we like it now?

Yes, people change.  Things change.  Taste change too.  SOOOO, every once in a while, you have to try something you didn't like - just to make sure you still don't like it.  Really, it's called trying something new.  Only, we keep thinking it's the old thing.  Only, it's a new thing.  Just because we didn't like it the first time, or the second time, we keep trying.  Or we don't.  We won't try it the second time.  Well, because, we didn't like it the first time.  Why would I try it again?  Right?  Either I'm going to like it, or I won't.

I just left a party.  Our "parting" gift was a bottle of wine, a calendar and a box of Godiva chocolate.  Yes, each guest received this - this was our "parting" gift, while the valet was sent to get our car.  Graciously handed to us by one of the grand-daughters of the host and hostess.

The romanticized version of life.  The attendees:  The Opera director.  The head NFL football coach.  The society column.  The painter.  The mom.  The next door neighbor.  And me.

A gamut of people with a variety of backgrounds.  The place where you some how end up.  With a group talking of the "next marathon" we need to run.  A place where we never thought we would be.  Yet, not quite a place we would want to be.

A place in between.
 

Just a little more

As of yesterday, I wrote more this year, than I did last year!

Well, yes, I did spend an extra week (or so) in Hawaii from the previous year.  Regardless, I'm celebrating this as a win.

I'm writing more.  You are reading more.  I'm thinking I need to set some pretty incredible goals for next year.

Or maybe not.  Maybe just a little more.

Complete Your Life

When I started this story, the title was going to be "Ruin your life".  Only, after a bit of research, I realized I was falling into the void of everyone else out there.

Quite by chance, I ran across an article entitled "6 reasons Hawaii will ruin your life".   The really funny thing is, I'm not quite sure how I got to this article.  I'm sure the title intrigued me, and I do like to read The Huffington Post, but not quite sure what caused me to stumble across this one particular article.  Well, besides the fact that there are now all those "crawlers" out there dictating what we read.

A funny thing about me though - I read it all.  From the Huffington Post to Fox News - and everything in between.  To ME, the BEST thing about all the information out there is well, we CAN read/hear it all.

I love a good fight.  In the sense, back up your story, give it some legs then go to war.  But you know what, I want the other side to do the EXACT same thing.  I LOVE passion.  I LOVE hearing both sides of the stories.  Even if I don't agree.  Even if I don't agree with either side.

HOWEVER, people who have NO legs and just ramble their thoughts (much I like I do here), be prepared for other people to disagree.  That's why we live in America.  We are free to think our own thoughts.

I digress.

Not many times do I read an article, and think "you are wrong".  In fact, I completely disagree with what you are saying.  Usually, I think "well, that's one way to look at things".  But this time, I was ready to fight.  I felt I could.

But, then I got busy, and I did a couple of other things, then I tried to find the article again, then, well, I probably went to watch a football game.  Then a hockey game, then, well, you get the point.

THEN, I tried to find the article.  I went to the Huffington Post and searched for articles:  207,000 showed up for "ruin your life". (with the quotes).  I then went to Google and typed in "ruin your life" - 61,900,000 different articles showed up for "ruin your life".

I'm guessing here, but I know there are many that are "tongue in cheek" - meaning, good in a bad way. I'm guessing more of these things are actually positives - disguised as negatives.

I did find the article - and I will dispute in in my next blog, but you know what?  Here is what is really wrong.

When I searched for "complete your life"  (in quotes) on Google - there were only 40,800,000 articles with those exact words.  AND, on the Huffington Post?

THREE.

Yes, the number three.  I'm hoping this story will become number FOUR.  Because, I'm not here to tell anyone how to ruin that there thing you call life.  Just remember, it's so easy to focus on what we don't have, instead of what we do have.  Let's focus on saying it right.

I'm here, to help you, complete your life.

Fully.

Wholeheartedly.

Follow Me

As we all know, one of the greatest things about the Internet is we can all be anonymous. It's easy to comment on things - no one knows who you are.  It's easy to write, some people might know you, but in a way, it's a bit like having an alter ego.  In fact, when people do say something to me about the blog, I almost get a bit shy.

Shy in the sense of, "Oh, we really don't need to talk about it".  I've written all I can about the subject.  There is nothing more.  But really there is.  We all know there is more to every story.  It's just kind of easy to hide here.

Which brings me to how we really hide on the Internet.  We hide what we read.  NO ONE has to know what we read.  (Just make sure you clear the history on your computer if you really don't want people to know).

The good news:  people are reading again.  Reading all sorts of stuff.

The bad news:which is also a good thing - no one knows who you are.

Yes, there are stats on the sites.  Very general stats.  Geography (general) - you can tell what country people are from and then regions.  I can see what "keywords" people search on the find this site.  And "new" vs "returning visitors".  On average, 90 "regulars" are reading the blog.  Which is awesome and scary at the same time.

BUT, and it's a HUGE BUT here - if you notice over on the side of the page, there are 11 public followers. Which means they don't mind the world knows they are following this blog.  I know there is an option for "private followers" - and I have NO access or IDEA how many "private followers".  All this really means is that you get an e-mail when I've updated the blog.

What I need?  19 more PUBLIC followers.  You see, I've entered this contest and they won't look at my submission unless I have 30 Public followers or more.  It's a really good story, that I would like to carry on.  In fact, I had to take it off the site for now, so it can get published.  I'm almost there.

I don't care if you make up and id or a name or an e-mail for your dog or cat, I need some help.  Please do what you can and "Follow Me"

My kind of humor

I like laugh out loud kind of humor.  Sometimes I really like dry humor.

The last picture, this is what I do to pay the bills.  But really, I think if I could re-arrange the pictures - I would change two of them around.

The guy on the raft - that would be what I think I do.  What society thinks I do would be find people jobs.  What I actually do - is well companies hire me to find people for them.  It's not the other way around.

Yes, I know - you know someone whom needs a job.  Happy to put them in my database, but that's not how recruiting really works.

The funniest thing I heard this week:  When talking to a potential candidate about a position I'm working on in Arkansas, he replied  "Ma'am, I can't even located Arkansas on the map - I would not be interested in moving there".  Obviously, he was from the South and yes, he knew where the state is located, but I did love his humor.

I'd like to thank

A very good friend of mine is the Director of a local Chamber of Commerce.  (I'd like to name the city, but I can't - she would kill me).  She does a great job.  She has done an incredible job of helping the local community become all they can be.  And a variety of business owners/employees become all they can be. She has done a fabulous job.

We've known each other for about 10 years.  I had just bought my gift company.  She and her husband were starting a computer consulting company.

We met through the same Chamber of Commerce.  We were in a "leads" group together.  A "Leads" group is where one person from an industry meets with about 20 other people from different industries.  Industries are not allowed to overlap (for example, if you are in the mortgage industry no one else can come to the group from the mortgage industry).  The point is to develop business relationships so you have trust to refer other people you know to those people in your group.

We met every Tuesday - this group of us - at 11:30 - 1:00pm.  I was a member of this group for 5 years. Then one day, I just couldn't go any more.  I had checked out.  But a funny thing happened.

When you have lunch with the same group of people, every Tuesday for 5 years, well, you get to know these people.  Yes, some people would come and go.  But a handful, I'm still friends with today.  One of them is Heidi.

Heidi and her husband divorced.  She quit talking to me.  You see, I was good friends with her husband too. That's okay though.  We all go through rough patches in life.  And she will tell you the story.  I wouldn't quit calling.  I didn't call her every day or even every week.  I just reached out to her here and there.  We had a couple of awkward lunches.  But she will tell you the story, I never quit being her friend.  Even though she wasn't being a friend to me.  Isn't that when we need our friends the most?

I was still good friends with her ex-husband.  It was like I had to choose.  But I didn't have to choose.  I'm very good at compartmentalizing my life.  When I'm with him, I'm his friend.  When I'm with her, I'm her friend.  She just needed her space.

She came back around.  I knew she would.  All real friends do.  There was never a "talk" about "not talking" for a year.  She just called one day and asked if I wanted to do something.  To tell you the truth, I don't even remember what it was.  I just knew, that we were back to our friendship.

Heidi and her husband also had a triathlon company.  They would take triathletes to compete in an Ironman distance race called Challenge Family triathlons in Germany.  She kept the company after they divorced.
I had been asking her for years "I want to go with you".  She finally asked.  I went to help.  She got there first.  I took a plane by myself to Frankfurt, then a train to Nuremberg, then she picked me up there in a great big red conversion van and drove us to Roth.

I worked harder in those 4 days than I probably ever will again.  We had athletes from all over the world as a part of our group - "A" type personalities all about competing.  We have some great stories from that trip.

Race day - we are up at 4 am to get ready to get the athletes to the swim.  We all just had to walk, but we needed to get them there.  (The day before we had all driven the course).

Long great day.  Our athletes did great.  What a great group of people.  Oh yeah, two nights before we had been to a festival in this small town and met many locals.

While on the way back from taking one group of athletes to the hotel (after the race), we got stuck in this traffic jam - a one lane road with cars parked on each side.  No one was alternating.  Heidi was freaking out that we weren't going to get the athletes in time.  I just tell her to stop and let me out of the van.  She unlocks the doors.

In the middle of Germany.  Where I don't speak a word of German, I got out and directed traffic. Apparently, when you hold your hand up in the stop position and push it away from you - well, is universal for BACK UP.

Needless to say, I got the traffic flowing.  She pulled up.  We went on to get our athletes.

Friendships sometimes need some space.  Or maybe just a continent change.

Which brings us to tonight.  I was at a Chamber silent auction.  She's doing her "part".  Telling about the chamber, the sponsors and THEN.  She goes to thank her "committee".  Only, she says "I'd like to thank my kitties".  "Oh, I meant my committee"

We all smiled.  She did explain she has "two and a half kitties"  (the half is the neighbors kitty whom comes in through the kitty door) - although, no one else there knows this story.  I just smile.  She looks over and shakes her head at me.

All I could think was, "It's okay.  It makes a really good story. If you were a kitty, I would thank you too"  ;-)

Addicted to the Drama

We've all known those people.  People whom, no matter, what, something is wrong with their life.  One problem gets solved, life is good for day or so, then there is another problem.

I guess these are "glass half empty" types.  Also, most of the time, these same people don't look in the mirror and accept that they are causing most of their own problems.  It's easier to blame someone else.

You know, those classic examples:

• The waiter was rude to me, so I had a lousy dinner.  
• My ex-wife won't share the time with the kids, so I don't get to see them.
• I have an allergy to wheat, so I'm fat.
• No one ever calls me, so I don't have any friends.

I could go on and on.  But what I realized is people are just addicted to the drama of it all.  Without complaining about each and every thing, they wouldn't know what to do.  They just play the "victim" card.  Poor me.  If everyone else would just let me do things my way, it would all be fine.

Gee, I wish life were really like that.  But no, instead, people need to understand we cause our own drama.

In the four cases above, there are a million different scenarios where it's just the situation.

• Your dinner was lousy?  You were tired.  It was cold out side.  YOU were grumpy, not the waiter
• Can't see your kids?  What you are retired and live in another state?  YOU move.  Did your kids move?  Or was it you?  
• Wheat is making you fat?  Stop eating wheat.  No one is forcing you.
• You don't have any friends?  You have to call them too.  The phone rings both ways.

Of course, I've over-simplified these examples.  But, the holidays are here and in order for us all to get along, we all need to accept our own responsibility for OUR own thoughts.

And once you walk away from the drama, once you realize that YOU are in charge of your own happiness.  Well, it's a pretty darn good world out there!