MY friends

I've mentioned two guy friends of mine quite a bit.  They are brothers.  Brothers I met one summer, the summer I turned 20.  One turned 19 that summer, the other 16. (So, really we were 19, 18 and 15)

Brothers I'm still friends with today.  Of course, there was a gap in there.  This friendship was from the "pre-internet" days.  The only way you kept in touch, well, was to write letters or call someone.  Heaven forbid, actually, pick up the phone.  But it was LONG distance to call (meaning it would have cost money).  And, really, what would we have said?

We went on with our lives.  Their parents did come to my wedding.  (Their dad worked with my dad).  But that was really it.

I remember hearing from my dad that their dad had a heart attack.  That was probably 10 or so years ago.  I sent a card to their mom.  I could have asked her for their phone numbers or address.  But, once again, what do you say?

A couple of years after that, I was online - still before there was a Facebook - there was a place called "Myspace".  It's still around, I think, but now it is more of a place to find new bands.  (I think - I haven't been to the site in years).  A friend of mine had a nanny for his kids - I asked her to show me what it was all about.  You search for people.  You are connected to friends through friends.  Much like Facebook is now, but it was the "new" thing.

I do remember around the same time, or a bit earlier, there was a thing called "Classmates" and you could look up people you went to high school with.  For some reason, I'm thinking it was just your school - I digress.

Back to Myspace.  Long story short.  I found the older brother.  He was living in LA.  It was September.  What do you do?  Well, now everyone does this.  At the time - wasn't sure what to do.  But I do what I've always done.  I try.  I sent him a message through Myspace;  "Hey, how the heck are you?  Summer '89???? (maybe)"  I wrote a few more sentences.  I left my e-mail, my phone number.

He called the next night.  A friendship was rekindled.  We caught up.  His daughter is 6 months older than my oldest son.  We e-mailed.  We talked.  For hours.  For weeks.  Catching up from almost 15 years of an absence.

That same fall a friend of mine was dating a woman whom worked at DisneyLand.  The stars were aligned.  Santa needs to bring a trip to Southern California.  He offered us to stay with them.  I had us free passes to Disney.  Basically, a week long trip - free place to stay, free magic of Disney, all for the cost of plane tickets.

We go.  Of course we do.

My sons and I got on an airplane from Denver to Vegas to Orange County on New Years Eve morning.  To fly to a place to meet some "old/new friends".  It wasn't until we were landing in Orange County that I actually felt a moment of panic.  I looked at the lady across the aisle from me on the plane.  (I had told her the story).  I swallowed very hard.  And for the first time thought, "What the hell are you doing?"

We go to baggage claim.  We get one bag.  He calls to say he just pulled up curbside.  "Duncan, take this bag, and head outside - there is a guy in a white Land Rover going to pick us up".  Both of the other bags arrived before Duncan got out the door.  (Sure mom, don't talk to strangers, but go in this car???").  We get to the curb and say hello.  I introduce him to my sons.  His daughter was waiting at their place for us.

We had a great week.  Bits of it were awkward, funny moments.  Great moments.  Phrases they still repeat from that trip.

There have been many more "family" trips.  Camping.  More New Years. A tragedy. Some grown-up trips too.  A half-marathon.  A triathlon.  A weekend of 8 hockey games.  

Really, the story of meeting these guys - and re-connecting could be several more stories.  These guys are my family.  But, a funny thing has evolved during the last few years.  It's now been 24 years since I first met these two brothers.  Not only now, are they my friends, they are my sons friends.

A couple of years ago on one the camping trips - there was an "older brother/younger brother" bocce ball tournament - ALL WEEKEND.  The brothers and my sons.  I was told to go play with the girls.  Then they have taught them how to drive a stick shift.  The brothers have taught the brothers other bad habits as well. MY brothers now just call my sons.  They all text.  They plan things.

I do still hear from the brothers.  After all, they were MY friends. Of course I do, I still have to get this set of brothers to see the other set of brothers.  "My friends" are now my sons friends.

They try to tell me, "Mom, they are our friends now.  Not yours".  That's okay.  I think it's pretty cool these guys I met sooooo many summers ago are friends with my sons.  No one would have ever believed it.  

What you wish

I'm a true believer in putting out to the "universe" what you want.  Your "universe" might be God or a God or several Gods.  Your "universe" might be your friends.  You might be strong enough to "think about want you really want a lot", then it comes true.

What is the difference between WANTING and BELIEVING?  Believing you will one day get what it is that you have been wanting.  Do you just believe it?  And at what point does wanting become believing?

It's a fine line.  I read the book "The Secret"  What about all those things we REALLY believed were ours, and if we just believed it for long enough, it would come true?

What happens when it DOES come true?  Your wish is fulfilled?  We all finally have want we have wanted for years.

Is it okay to say we no longer want it?  It wasn't really him/her/it/the watch/the trip and on and on.  We became addicted to the "wanting".  Not sure if we really wanted what we were wanting, we were just so used to "wanting it", we didn't know how to survive "not wanting it"

Peter Pan is moving back to Denver.  Supposedly.  I've heard this before.

For some reason, it seems different this time.  He's really coming back.  Be careful for what you wish, it just might come true.

Only now, I'm not sure what to do.  It's been on again.  Off again.  When do I get to see you again?  I never want to see you again. I don't even know if we still like each other.  We just don't know how to go on, not "wanting" each other.

It's funny, when Lily's dad told me he was getting back together with his on again/off again love, I completely understood.  How could you NOT finally give it a chance? The stars were aligned, it was YOUR time. 100% I got it.

When I told Peter Pan the story, he understood too.  But could we actually say good-bye to each other?  We both agreed yes. In theory. We also both agreed, you have to go after the one whom set your heart racing, the way we set our hearts racing.  We will always love each other.  He will always be the one whom helped me save me.  But sometimes, that is all it will ever be.  And for that, I love him even more.  I always will.

With Peter Pan - I always thought he'd be the one I'd fight anyone for.  The one I would give up everything.   But I realized, I don't have to risk it all for him.  There is nothing to risk - that was all in my head.  He will always be there for me.  The love of my life.

He's not the one whom held me close.  He's the one, whom set me free..

Some place in between

I'm sitting here drinking a glass of wine and eating some Godiva chocolates.

Just for the record, I don't like chocolate.  Well, unless it's Godiva.  It's not plastic.  It's real.  It's creamy. No wax.

Yes, it still makes my face break out.  That's not why I don't like it.  I truly don't like the taste of chocolate.  Unless, well, it's the real stuff.  The stuff that makes you think, "ahhh, this is what I've been wanting".  The chocolate that sets off that endorphin's that makes you want even more.  A Hersey kiss?  I've been known to spit those out.  They are gross.  Every once in a while, I try one again.  Thinking, "maybe, it's not as bad as I remember"  What we forget though, is that, well, we didn't like it in the first place.  Why would we like it now?

Yes, people change.  Things change.  Taste change too.  SOOOO, every once in a while, you have to try something you didn't like - just to make sure you still don't like it.  Really, it's called trying something new.  Only, we keep thinking it's the old thing.  Only, it's a new thing.  Just because we didn't like it the first time, or the second time, we keep trying.  Or we don't.  We won't try it the second time.  Well, because, we didn't like it the first time.  Why would I try it again?  Right?  Either I'm going to like it, or I won't.

I just left a party.  Our "parting" gift was a bottle of wine, a calendar and a box of Godiva chocolate.  Yes, each guest received this - this was our "parting" gift, while the valet was sent to get our car.  Graciously handed to us by one of the grand-daughters of the host and hostess.

The romanticized version of life.  The attendees:  The Opera director.  The head NFL football coach.  The society column.  The painter.  The mom.  The next door neighbor.  And me.

A gamut of people with a variety of backgrounds.  The place where you some how end up.  With a group talking of the "next marathon" we need to run.  A place where we never thought we would be.  Yet, not quite a place we would want to be.

A place in between.
 

Just a little more

As of yesterday, I wrote more this year, than I did last year!

Well, yes, I did spend an extra week (or so) in Hawaii from the previous year.  Regardless, I'm celebrating this as a win.

I'm writing more.  You are reading more.  I'm thinking I need to set some pretty incredible goals for next year.

Or maybe not.  Maybe just a little more.

Complete Your Life

When I started this story, the title was going to be "Ruin your life".  Only, after a bit of research, I realized I was falling into the void of everyone else out there.

Quite by chance, I ran across an article entitled "6 reasons Hawaii will ruin your life".   The really funny thing is, I'm not quite sure how I got to this article.  I'm sure the title intrigued me, and I do like to read The Huffington Post, but not quite sure what caused me to stumble across this one particular article.  Well, besides the fact that there are now all those "crawlers" out there dictating what we read.

A funny thing about me though - I read it all.  From the Huffington Post to Fox News - and everything in between.  To ME, the BEST thing about all the information out there is well, we CAN read/hear it all.

I love a good fight.  In the sense, back up your story, give it some legs then go to war.  But you know what, I want the other side to do the EXACT same thing.  I LOVE passion.  I LOVE hearing both sides of the stories.  Even if I don't agree.  Even if I don't agree with either side.

HOWEVER, people who have NO legs and just ramble their thoughts (much I like I do here), be prepared for other people to disagree.  That's why we live in America.  We are free to think our own thoughts.

I digress.

Not many times do I read an article, and think "you are wrong".  In fact, I completely disagree with what you are saying.  Usually, I think "well, that's one way to look at things".  But this time, I was ready to fight.  I felt I could.

But, then I got busy, and I did a couple of other things, then I tried to find the article again, then, well, I probably went to watch a football game.  Then a hockey game, then, well, you get the point.

THEN, I tried to find the article.  I went to the Huffington Post and searched for articles:  207,000 showed up for "ruin your life". (with the quotes).  I then went to Google and typed in "ruin your life" - 61,900,000 different articles showed up for "ruin your life".

I'm guessing here, but I know there are many that are "tongue in cheek" - meaning, good in a bad way. I'm guessing more of these things are actually positives - disguised as negatives.

I did find the article - and I will dispute in in my next blog, but you know what?  Here is what is really wrong.

When I searched for "complete your life"  (in quotes) on Google - there were only 40,800,000 articles with those exact words.  AND, on the Huffington Post?

THREE.

Yes, the number three.  I'm hoping this story will become number FOUR.  Because, I'm not here to tell anyone how to ruin that there thing you call life.  Just remember, it's so easy to focus on what we don't have, instead of what we do have.  Let's focus on saying it right.

I'm here, to help you, complete your life.

Fully.

Wholeheartedly.

Follow Me

As we all know, one of the greatest things about the Internet is we can all be anonymous. It's easy to comment on things - no one knows who you are.  It's easy to write, some people might know you, but in a way, it's a bit like having an alter ego.  In fact, when people do say something to me about the blog, I almost get a bit shy.

Shy in the sense of, "Oh, we really don't need to talk about it".  I've written all I can about the subject.  There is nothing more.  But really there is.  We all know there is more to every story.  It's just kind of easy to hide here.

Which brings me to how we really hide on the Internet.  We hide what we read.  NO ONE has to know what we read.  (Just make sure you clear the history on your computer if you really don't want people to know).

The good news:  people are reading again.  Reading all sorts of stuff.

The bad news:which is also a good thing - no one knows who you are.

Yes, there are stats on the sites.  Very general stats.  Geography (general) - you can tell what country people are from and then regions.  I can see what "keywords" people search on the find this site.  And "new" vs "returning visitors".  On average, 90 "regulars" are reading the blog.  Which is awesome and scary at the same time.

BUT, and it's a HUGE BUT here - if you notice over on the side of the page, there are 11 public followers. Which means they don't mind the world knows they are following this blog.  I know there is an option for "private followers" - and I have NO access or IDEA how many "private followers".  All this really means is that you get an e-mail when I've updated the blog.

What I need?  19 more PUBLIC followers.  You see, I've entered this contest and they won't look at my submission unless I have 30 Public followers or more.  It's a really good story, that I would like to carry on.  In fact, I had to take it off the site for now, so it can get published.  I'm almost there.

I don't care if you make up and id or a name or an e-mail for your dog or cat, I need some help.  Please do what you can and "Follow Me"

My kind of humor

I like laugh out loud kind of humor.  Sometimes I really like dry humor.

The last picture, this is what I do to pay the bills.  But really, I think if I could re-arrange the pictures - I would change two of them around.

The guy on the raft - that would be what I think I do.  What society thinks I do would be find people jobs.  What I actually do - is well companies hire me to find people for them.  It's not the other way around.

Yes, I know - you know someone whom needs a job.  Happy to put them in my database, but that's not how recruiting really works.

The funniest thing I heard this week:  When talking to a potential candidate about a position I'm working on in Arkansas, he replied  "Ma'am, I can't even located Arkansas on the map - I would not be interested in moving there".  Obviously, he was from the South and yes, he knew where the state is located, but I did love his humor.