What Are YOU doing here?

Two years ago my sons and I were in Moab with our friends.

This is of course before MY friends, became, well, THEIR friends.  We were at the campfire.  It was cold.  The fire was lit.  It was the desert.  Friends all together.

I'm standing there talking to Rich.  One of the brothers.  Talking about life.  Talking about everything.  

Duncan walks up.

Seriously, my first thought: "Who the hell are you.  And how did you get here?"  You transported yourself.  You see.  At that moment.  I was 20.  Rich was your age.  I truly believed to the core of my existence, well, I was 23.  

Then you walked up.

I was time traveling.

I wouldn't go back, if I couldn't have you.  But, whoooooo, that was weird....

Lives

I have several trips booked this spring.  In fact, the month of April, I'm pretty much not in Denver.  And, I can't wait.

I'm on a trip with my kids.  I'm on a trip - with just me.  Then, I'm on a holiday with my Granny. Some friends too.  I have some friends whom live in the same town we are visiting.

An e-mail is sent to a family friend.  A friend I've known my whole life.  A friend where the word forever, means forever.

I sent her an e-mail about a month ago, letting her know what we were doing - looking for suggestions, ideas and what to do.  She's not on Facebook.  I KNOW for a fact, we haven't spoken in at least 15 years.  We've had some communication, but a conversation?  No.  We e-mailed.  Today, she called.  We talked for about 30 minutes.

Her words:  "what do you need me to do, to make this weekend great for you."  I'm here.  Just let me know. I will play tour guide.  I will get your grandmother to the finish line.  Here are some ideas.  We can do this.  We can do that.  I will take take you here.  I will take you there.  Whatever you need.  I'm here for you. Maybe I'll run the race - only then, I can't help you, so I won't run, I'll help you."  Me:  Its okay - you run, if you want, Granny will be fine"  Her:  "Really, it's okay, I'll help you."

Her sons are grown.  One is in the military.  One is finishing his senior year in college.

Oh, wait, when I hang up the phone.  TWO of the parents of the friends of the boys went to elementary/middle school with went to high school with you.  I need to tell you so much more.  Yes, now I realize you don't really listen.

But that's okay - sometimes we don't need people to listen.  We need people to take charge.

We discussed the fact that hockey season is now over.  I told her my mantra: every hockey game, each weekend - it doesn't matter if it's the first or the last.  I say, "I'm going to miss this".  She replies, "No, you won't".  "God prepares you for the next stage in life".

I've known you.  Yet, not known you my entire life.  Yet, you know me too.......

 Thank you. Oh my God, I'm SO much like you.......

The Colony

Every spring, we get ants in our house.  Every fall, spiders.  Only the spiders usually aren't too bad. Someone once told me "white spiders" are good luck.  I can't kill those - I have to pick them up and carry them outside.  The others one, the fuzzy ones??? They get killed.  YUCK!

Anyway - the little "ant hotels" work really well.

Only, tonight I arrive home and there are ants all over the kitchen.  They have even been in my bathroom this year.  What the heck?  Go away!

It's been warm/cold/warm/cold - I guess the ants are confused too.  It's WINTER still - not SPRING.

But they don't know this.

Then I went to write this as my status update on Facebook:

"Do you ever wonder when you see bugs/insects in your house if there really isn't a secret hiding place of their whole colony hiding in the crawl space?"

Only, then I thought, everyone really would think I'm crazier than I really am.  (Self admit I can be pretty out there)

Like something that shows up in a horror movie - this entire ANTS movie - only it's real.  It's also in my basement.

Every once in a while, I shine my flashlight into the crawl space just to make sure I don't have an ant colony down there.  A few years ago when my dad moved into his house in North Carolina he had an "attic" with bats in it.  I remember him showing it to the boys.  Once his wife found out - the exterminator came out to get rid of the bats.  I completely understand.

But so far, no colonies  - they just appear from no place.  I found a good safe "pet friendly" spray.  Only it smells like menthol.  My house smells likes a place for old people.  AND the ants are still here.

There is a colony around here.  Tomorrow, I'm going to get them.

I'm going to bed

For the record, this was probably one of the most successful February's on record, for me.  I've mentioned before I don't like February.  This February, I did okay.

It was almost like it was the rest of my life - it flowed.  There were highs.  There were lows.  But there were no "stay down in the lows for a few weeks".  It worked for me.  I even noticed towards the end of the month, the days were getting a little brighter at night.  It was around 6:15 the other night and the sky still held some of the reflection of the sun.

But really, I had a great February.  I booked tickets for me and my kids to go to Europe.  I closed a couple of deals.  I increased my running.  I owned the month.  One day at a time - just like I said I would.

Then, if you follow astrology, "Mercury Retrograde" ended.  If you follow astrology, "Mercury Retrograde" is a time of disorder - things break, nothing goes right, you can't get it going.  During this time, you are supposed to finish old business - not start anything new - wrap up old things. But for me, it seemed to go better.  ***Disclaimer here, I know enough about astrology to write that sentence, maybe another sentence or two.  But, that's it.  Much like the rest of my personality - a little bit of everything, a lot of nothing"..........

Then February ends, we come out of retrograde, and spring is within sight........

• A phone call arrives on February 28 letting me know a friend had passed.  I got to start March by attending a funeral.  He smoked, he drank, he didn't eat well - we all knew it was a matter of time - it still didn't make it any easier.  He was only 55.  He always made me laugh. It was a beautiful service.
• A candidate backs out of a position they were going to start - AFTER they had passed the background check, drug test and told the company they would accept.  Yes - this happens to me at least twice a year.  (I got this one out of the way). (which means I don't get the rest of my money)
• For some reason, I now get to go on holiday with my ex-boyfriends ex-wife.  
• The guy whom fired me last summer?  His daughter asked my oldest son if he would take her to her prom.  It's next weekend.  Of course he's going.  He is my son.  And I told him - please tell the sweet girl that whatever expenses you incur, her dad needs to pay for.  Duncan won't.  But, I will.  I did text his wife so I could make sure the flowers match her dress.......(Guys take note - you want me on your team, you don't want me on the team against you).  And the way my life works, Duncan and this girl will start to date.
• I ran 7 miles yesterday.  I went to run 7 miles today.  First though, I wanted to go to yoga - to stretch and breathe.  I was running late and got to class about 5 minutes late.  Or so I thought.  I was actually about 35 minutes late.  I then walked 4 miles
• The sucker punch of them all?  The Hawaii house has a contract on it.

Yes, these are all "first world problems" - I have my health, my kids health and a roof over my head - (and I think I may even finally have health insurance again).

But, for now, I'm going to bed.  

Shhh......

It's a secret.

I LOVE surprises.  I love the good type of secrets.  The type where there is planning.  There is wanting. There is knowing you are going to make someone happy.

Truly, I'm a horrible secret keeper.  I mean, not really.  It's just hard to keep a secret. I can keep a secret until the end of time.  Heck, I even had Harry Connick, Jr's credit card number for a few years. (I owned a gift company, his sister-in-law lived/lives in Boulder)  See, I've kept that a secret for years.

When I was pregnant with Nolan.  I didn't know if I was pregnant with a boy or girl.  It actually drove everyone else more crazy than me.   I remember answering the question:  "What are you going to have?" = with the reply "kittens".   "I get to know for the rest of my life".  I don't want to find out early.  I like surprises.  I'll find out soon.

At the moment, just before he came out of my body - I remember, the doctor looked around the room.  She says, "Now is your turn to guess."  People in the office had guessed.  People in the room guessed.  She looks at his dad - he replies "no clue".  I looked at her square in the eyes.

"It's a boy".  Not a doubt in my mind.

He thinks that is why he likes surprises.  He was a surprise.

Now, he has a surprise coming soon......Shhhh..... (he loves surprises)

Other things to remember

More on my list of what to remember while winter running:

IT IS STILL WINTER.  This is not "spring-time" in the Rockies.  It is FEBRUARY.  It is still winter.  No matter what the sky looks like or the thermostat tells you.  It's winter.  That means, while there may not be a cloud in the sky, while it may be 65 degrees - it can all be very short lived.  I went to run on Monday.  I left the house in a running skirt and a tank top.  It was 65 degrees.  The air was warm.  The sun was bright.  I was at mile 1.5 - and it started getting windy.  I KNOW better than to leave the house without a jacket, or a long sleeve shirt - I've lived here for over 20 years.  Weather can change in a moment - no matter what the month.  By the time I got home, 20 minutes later - it was 35 degrees.  Yes, it dropped 30 degrees in 20 minutes.  I know better than this.

Snow mold.  Never heard of it before.  But when I'm done running, I start to sneeze within 10 minutes of stopping.  I don't stop sneezing.  Take a Sudafed immediately.  Evidently, the ground, leaves, whatever starts to mold under the snow that doesn't melt - then it melts, and the mold gets to me.  Never knew I was allergic to snow mold.  Of course, I didn't know there was such a thing.

Weight coming off in the winter is different than in the summer.  I think my body keeps trying to keep me warm.  My clothes are looser, but the weight loss has stopped.  No, it's not muscle, trust me.

The thoughts that pop into your head are incredible.  You don't know anyone or yourself any better than you ever will after you have pushed your body to another limit.  I was running last week - my first really long run this time - 12 miles (I'm SO behind).  I got to mile 11 and I told myself  "Slow down.  It's okay, it's not like this is a competition."  Then I smiled.  If this isn't a competition, I don't know what is.  Only this time, I'm only competing against me.

It's time to upload/download some new music.  The music that got you this far, isn't getting you across this finish line.  Time for new music.  It's a new race.

Deleting Contacts

My phone/address book has over 600 contacts.  Granted some of those are double entered - or in some cases triple.  When Carolyn calls me the Caller ID on my phone says "Carolyn or 2 others".  Meaning, I have her under Carolyn.  Carolyn Maiden Name.  Carolyn Maiden Name Married Name.  This doesn't even count the fact I have her husband's name and number in there or her dad.  Because I could need to talk to them too.

Many and I would say MOST of my contacts are friends/family and people I've meet personally.  Then there is an entire group of work/professional contacts as well.  I'm usually pretty good about whom I put into the phone/contact list.  When I put someone in, if they are a business connection, I put their company information.

If I meet a person, through a friend or a friend of a friend, I put that instead in the "Company" information.  For example,  I have a whole group of contacts that say "Sams Mom" or "Jacks Dad" from first meeting various "parent friends".  Finally, a few years ago, I changed "Sams Mom" to "Lynda".  I figured by now she was my friend too.

Then there is the group of people I've met randomly - Jimmy "In Vail with Carolyn"; Jackson "cute guy with Rockies tickets", Julie "friend of Melody's".  That way when they do call/text, I can remember in what context I know this person. Or if I need to find them, I can search by some random clue.  As for some reason I can remember "remember that girl that's friends with Melody...." I'm usually really good at this as I talk to tons of people (occupational hazard) and can never remember their actual name, but how/why I meet someone.

A few years ago Carolyn and I were headed to Vail.  I was driving, she was in the passenger seat.  We went through my phone, her deleting contacts we didn't think were relevant anymore.  It felt good, a cleansing so to speak.  We had to weigh the pros/cons of deleting a couple.  But overall, I don't think I regretted deleting anyone.  Or keeping anyone.  Of course, on the way home, we were stuck in traffic.  We decided it was a good thing we had deleted some old numbers, no telling whom we would have called!

Although, I have to say, there are some I've tried to delete.  PeterPan.  Oh dear - I've deleted his number so many times, I can't even count.  I finally came to terms a few years ago that there was no point.  In fact, he's probably one of the only numbers I do still know from memory.

Or MM - another romance that faded away.  I finally deleted him.  Then one day, over a YEAR since I had heard from him, I receive a text "How are you? Just thinking of you.  MM".  He was put back in.  We don't really talk to each other much any more, but there is no point in deleting he will reappear.

It seems once you are deleted, if you come back, you get to stay.

Then, there are fun ones.  The random ones whom I forgot to identify.  Who the heck is this???

On Saturday afternoon I received a text and the named showed up in my phone as "Brendan Slate" (no that is not his real name) and the text says "Hey! How are you? Want to meet in Vegas in May?  Unless of course you are still in Kona"  Brendan.

Who the heck is Brendan Slate?  I had no "clue".  No identifying marker.  Hmmmm, let's see, well, I either met him right before, during or after Kona.  Hmmm, I wonder what summer?

I'm at the club, I'm drying my hair.  Oh.  Wait.  Hmmmm......

His area code 858 - I think that's California.  Hmmmm.  OH, wait!  He's that hot English guy whom played "football" for England and Australia. He played professional - I even now remember googling his name, I believe he played on the same team as Beckham for bit.  Oh, I remember him.  We met briefly.  We had dinner.  He went to the paddle club with me to canoe.  He met Nolan the day he arrived in Kona. Then he left.  He had been in Kona coaching a soccer clinic.

Oh, yes, I remember you.

And this is why we don't delete people from our contacts.

Because, yes, yes, I will meet you in Vegas.