Thursday, June 21, 2012

I can't make this stuff up

Any of it.

I don't watch television.  Well, sometimes.  I don't watch reality TV.  There is no way their life is better than mine.  AND most importantly, I really don't need the drama that I think these shows provide.

Life is good.  Life is bad.  It has it's ups and downs.  That's the way it is.  Comes and goes.

There is a country song out by a young guy titled "Storm Warning".  I sorta feel that is what people should be given before I come into their life.  I also feel, well, I should be giving a warning about what is going to happen in mine.  Don't you feel that way? Some type of warning.....

Last time I was in Hawaii I was looking for a "sign".  A sign on what I was supposed to do with my life, NEXT.  You know, that sign, that points you down the hall and says "enter here".  My, oh, my, don't we wish life was really that simple.

THIS time, I'm not sure whom needed the warning - me or the island.  SHE's BAAAAAACCCCK.  I heard the island whisper.....

Today is Wednesday, I've been here approximately 36 hours.  I've met my boyfriends old girlfriend, whom is living in his guest house.  I've been on a board.  I've snorkeled.  I've run.  Someone offered to buy Nolan and I a drink, because he said we looked happy - and wanted to share the joy.  We watched a sunset. I've worked. We've spent 3 hours in the emergency room getting 9 stitches in my right foot from falling off the board.  And I can't breathe!!!

AND TONIGHT:  the biggest sign yet:  We are at Huggo's - watching the sunset.  Our waitress Amanda made the comment about today being the summer solstice.  I said isn't that tomorrow?  (My birthday is June 12 - so I always remember it by being June 21)..  Instead of telling me "no, it's today".  She's replies:  "Well, it is Leap Year".........

Not sure what kind of sign/warning that is/was, but I heard it.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Packing hopes and dreams

This time last year, I was getting ready for a similar journey.  Packing up my house.  My life and going to a new place.  The experience of new adventures.  And OH the list.  The list of things that HAD to be done:

Clean the house
Get rid of stuff we never use
Store the "important stuff" in a "safe" place

I'm doing the same thing, AGAIN.  To the same place - well, not exactly, going to live NEXT DOOR.  How do I explain this?  "Neighbor Joe" - I'm living in his house.  Technically, that would now make me the neighbor to my "other house".  These are confusing times.

Are things ever the same NEXT time?  Of course not.  Time.  Perception. Wisdom.  Those things have all changed.  Actually, I guess, things are the same, it's US (people) whom change.  Hopefully.

My oldest son and I were talking about our upcoming adventure.  He says "I can't wait to......"  and mentioned several things we did last summer.  He made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with anything for the "tourist".  Everything he wanted to do - those were the "moments" that made the trip. We then spoke about how things might be different this year.  He says to me "Mom, I really don't like your attitude".  Yes, that made me smile too......

Life is made up of "moments".  When we look back, we remember those moments.  Then the stories blur.  The moments stick out.  THEN, that becomes the story.  In reality, it was one afternoon.  What starts as a "chapter" of your book, 30 years later, has moved from a chapter, to a page, to a paragraph, to a sentence, to a footnote.  Or a moment.  Full circle.

Here I am, packing.  Cleaning.  Creating my list of all the things I'm doing this summer.  Same time, next year.  Only THIS year, I'm going to........

I'm going to get back on that board.
I have no activity plans
I'm running a half marathon with my youngest son
I'm packing a pair of running shoes and a pair of flip flops (those I bought last year in Kona) and the shoes I wear on the plane.
Two swim suits - okay, I'm lying, three.
We are eating poke every day.
Be tired of avocados
Not worry about my list of - wait, make that any list of, well, anything.

Because, I learned this lesson already.  You can plan it.  You can not plan it.  You can be disappointed.  You can end up somewhere that wasn't on the list.  You can pack high heels, dresses, hopes, dreams and lots of other stuff in that suitcase.  And we all know, maybe it would be better to leave that suitcase at baggage claim.

And, by the way, that "important stuff" you put in a "safe" place - you might as well have dropped that at baggage claim too.  You already have the "important stuff" with you.  You knew that......

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Season Premier - Coming Soon

When we last left you, Leasa was leaving the Big Island.  She had delivered a statement.  A message. 

During the off-season - there was a visit.  A fun-filled glorious weekend of a visit. 

Last year's feelings, this year's reality.

We will give you another hint - the house in Denver is rented out.  There is a house waiting in Kona.  Not sure if EVERYONE is waiting or not.  

Stay tuned......

Season Premier is Monday.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

You have 20 seconds

That's all you will need. 

You have 20 seconds, go.........

What would you do if someone told you, "you have 20 seconds".  Would you ask questions?  Would you go?  Would you freeze?  What if they whispered, "you only have to be brave for 20 seconds."  Would the world open for you??

20 seconds.  That's it.  Not 30, heck that's almost a minute.  And well, a minute, might as well be 5.  And 5, that's almost an hour and next thing you know, you are having to be brave all day. 

Not this time.  Twenty seconds.  "You only have to be brave for twenty seconds".

If you haven't seen the movie, "We bought a Zoo" - you have no idea what I'm talking about.  If you have, you might get this post.  If you haven't, get the movie.  Tonight.

We think we have to be brave ALWAYS.  No way.  Just for twenty seconds.  There is a great line in the movie:  Matt Damon says "I had about 15 seconds of braveness left".   He just had to make it through those next 15 seconds. 

Doesn't that make life seem SO much better?  20 seconds.  That's it.  Not for the rest of your life.  Just 20 seconds. 

The next time you have to be brave.  Risk something.  Or risk it all.  You'll know the answer in 20 seconds. 

I'm not telling you you won't fail.  Just you will know sooner than later.

And you know what, you will always know you tried. You have 20 seconds.


Sunday, June 3, 2012

I'm just not ready for that

Last summer while getting the house ready to leave, we boxed up tons of stuff.  We donated old clothes, got rid of stuff we hadn't used in a while and boxed up the valuables and clutter. 

One of the bags/boxes was full of Nolan's stuffed animals.  He was 11 turning 12 last summer.  Still very much a little boy at heart.  Yes, he's the cool hockey goalie.  The cute boy at school whom all the older girls think is cute.  And still a little boy. 

He was a collector of monkeys for years.  We have lots of monkeys.  And he still had this great fish Nemo.  In addition to the other animals on the bed.

Upon returning from the summer,  we un-boxed MOST of the stuff.  The bag of stuffed animals went into his room.  A few months later, they were all still in the bag.  I asked if it was time to put them away.  As in, put the bag in the attic or crawl space.  He said yes.

I guess if you've now kissed a girl, it's time to put your stuffed animals away.  (and I just realized Nolan is now a follower of this blog - sorry Nolan, it's part of the story!)

This summer we are getting the house ready again.  Nolan mentions, "You know the little girl whom is going to come stay in our house this summer?  Maybe she would like my old stuffed animals".  "That is very sweet Nolan.  She would probably like some of them.  Others, I'm not quite ready to give away". 

What?  He smiled.  If you've seen Toy Story 3, you know there comes a time when they have to go to a new home. 

Maybe some of them can go.  Last summer, I had suggested we take Nemo with us and let him go in the ocean.  The reply was "Mom, he would just sink".  ;-)  I do laugh when I think of this stuffed Nemo fish floating around the bay.   But, Nemo's the one I really can't get rid of.

Maybe I'll be ready next summer........

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Tales of a Florist Delivery Driver

I'm a recruiter by occupation.  And a good one at that.

Truth be told, it BORES me to death.  BORED out of my mine bored.  There is no challenge.  It's a good job - and it's flexible.  And I'm very very lucky. Obviously, VERY flexible.  Just what I need in my life.  And I make decent money. Yes, it's scary at times not knowing if the paycheck is coming. Or WHEN it's coming.  Other than THAT - (Mrs. Lincoln, how was the theater??)

So to keep me from my boredness, yes I know you are asking "When could she possibly have time to be bored?".  I'm not bored - that I don't have anything to do - I'm bored that I'm not challenged.  My life is pretty much under control - which I like - don't get me wrong.  Sometimes I do different things.

As an entrepreneur, I know lots of other business owners. They let me work for them on occasion.  Mother's Day is this weekend and a friend of mine owns a florist.  They are super busy and needed an extra delivery driver.  PERFECT.  I'm your gal.  I don't have to be in charge, I don't have to think - I get to show up, put flowers in my car and go make people smile.

STOP #1:

I couldn't have written this one so well.  Double gated house.  I'm buzzed in at the gate.  Finally get back to the house.  Hot college guy opens door with towel on.  Seriously.  No shirt.  No shoes.  Just a towel.  Why the heck was he buzzing people in the drive???  Seriously.  My you are hot.

And I smiled.  No - sorry fans, not a Desperate Housewives moment - I look like his mom, and well, he looks like he could be friends with my oldest son.  But for a moment - I was the one with the smile....


John and Anna Sie.  Google that name.  They also lived in a gated community.  On this property though there are a few houses.  I was buzzed in and told to drive to the main house. Okay?  Would I know the main house from the others?  Yes.  Most definitely.  The house manager signed for these flowers.  These were special - not there normal $2000 or more per month worth of flowers.  And the cascading waterfall was gorgeous.

STOP # 4 or 5

Sweet old lady on oxygen.  Whom told me:  I needed to learn the different flowers and filler.  Even after I explained I was just a "sub".  I was making people happy (yes, flowers do brighten a day) and that I was very pretty. Thank you. 

This flower delivery thing isn't so bad.

The rest of the stops were uneventful, but everyone smiled.  The next day - I had 11 deliveries.


EVERYONE - okay, not everyone, but the first four deliveries all had dogs.  Numerous dogs.  They all wanted to say hi.

Couple of cute door guys in buildings.  I think my next house is going to have a door guy.  I like that idea.

A couple of things I learned:

I already know:  I hate running errands.  Stop, Start, Stop, Start.  Long term I wouldn't be good at this.

I earned a couple hundred dollars, a tank of gas and made people happy for a day.  Isn't that kind of what I do with recruiting?  Only, it's not so hard, I can make people happy and I earn a lot more money.  It taught me something - I'll be happy to be back at my desk tomorrow morning..

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Brave and Stupid

Sounds like characters out of a movie.  "Brave" and "Stupid".  You picture "BRAVE"  :  Strong, heroic, good-looking, in-shape, relentless.  You picture "Stupid":  clumsy, not-confident, mismatched. Brad Pitt movies vs Adam Sandler movies.

That's the picture.  That's not reality.  There is a much different version of "Brave" and "Stupid".  They are actually much closer than they appear. 

People tell me all the time:  "You are brave".  Am I brave because of the outcome?  Am I brave because I succeeded in the venture?  What if I failed?  "would I then be reckless or stupid?"  Does our "outcome" predict our future?

If you are a "regular" here on the blog, you know I traded my house last summer for a house in Hawaii.  Upon telling friends/family I was doing this - the reaction was varied.  Congratulations.  How cool.  Can I come with you?  What about your stuff?  Do you trust these people?  Do you know these people?  What about your cat? What if they destroy your house?  What if you get there and it's not what they said?



"Hey, call me and I'll do I what I can to help you, if it isn't what you thought".  There were a few "Do you have a back up plan?"

Are we really stupid in life or is it just what people have been telling us all these years?  "Oh, I could NEVER do that".    That fine line between Brave and Stupid.

SO, let's run the story the other way. 

    I had arrived in Hawaii to find  a beat up car and a run down house and they were en route to my house?
    I had come home and my house was trashed?
    My cat had run away and they had wrecked my car?
   On and on and on?

It would be really interesting to compare the people whom wanted to come with me to the people whom believed in me....

IF the second thing had happened, would I be labeled as "STUPID" not "BRAVE"?  However, since the whole thing was a success, I was "BRAVE".

  • Taking a risk
  • Trying
  • Knowing the potential will be worth more than what you have
  • Accepting you can fail, even when you take that risk
  • Driving drunk
  • Not listening to your instinct
  • Not doing your homework
  • Not trying
Not "Brave" and "Stupid"- there is a difference in the two, but the line is much finer than we think.  More like Brave/Stupid.

For instance:  I once went skiing with an old boyfriend, his girlfriend and a male friend of mine.  We went down an incredible run.  Then the girlfriend and I ended up riding up on a lift together.  She said to me:  "So, how do you know Justin?"  Seriously?  I'm sure my look was pure shock.  "You don't know who I am?" I wanted to say.  And in that moment, he went from BRAVE to STUPID.  "He didn't tell you I was the love of his life? And it wasn't going to work out between us?""  Okay, I didn't say all that - and THAT was the moment - he owed me.  He risked it all.  HE WAS BRAVE.  He would have only been stupid if he had known I wouldn't volley, but he knew I would. Truly, I told the truth, "We met years ago, I'm a recruiter, and we've been connected ever since."

However, maybe he wanted me to tell her all his secrets.  It would have let him off the hook.  Maybe I wasn't brave.  Was I the stupid one?  The one that held his secret?

I have a story to tell.  I know I've told this story before, but I'm not sure I've told more than one person or maybe two.  I can tell you a defining moment in my life about Brave and Stupid.

        I was 32 years old.  I had just moved out of the house with my husband and kids.  I was living in a 2 bedroom "row house" in Washington Park.  I had been laid off.  So, basically, I had no husband, 50/50 custody of my kids, no job and no house.  If you look at "standards" in life, I was failing.  I was buying a business.  It was April 30th.  In the middle of the night, I woke up in a cold sweat.  I called the business broker - it was 4:30 in the morning.  I can't do it.  Sorry!  
     I had never awoken in cold sweat.  I couldn't do it.  I had given it everything I had.  I had tried.  I had tried it all.  I couldn't take one more step.  I will go get a job.

     24 hours passed.  This time when I awoke in the middle of the night?  "What if I fail?"  And the voice inside my head said:  "So what?"  "What if you fail?".  Then I thought for a moment.  WORST CASE SCENARIO:  What is the WORST thing that can happen?  WORST THING?.  
  • This whole thing falls apart
  • I could have no place to live
  • I could fail
  • I could have to file bankruptcy

No, the worst thing that could EVER happen to you:
  • Staying married to a guy you don't love
  • In a job you don't like
  • In a career you don't want to do.
THAT, would be worse than filing bankruptcy?

These things don't mean you won't hurt if you fail.  Failure hurts.  Truly, the only failure there is, well, is the failure to try.  And failing to try doesn't make you "stupid".  It might just make you smart.  You know yourself.

I won't judge you.  I'm here to support you - call when you want to try - I'll help you pick up the pieces.  Or I'll help you celebrate your victory.  It's okay if you don't want me there for the victory lap - I've done my part.

Just go be brave.

And just go try.  It doesn't make you stupid.  It makes you brave.