Penny's from Heaven

I remember reading a poem YEARS ago.  By years, I mean, at LEAST ten, maybe even more.

It went like this:

I found a penny today
just laying on the ground
But it’s not just a penny
this little coin I’ve found

“Found” pennies come from heaven
that’s what my Grandpa told me
He said angels toss them down
oh, how I loved that story

He said when an angel misses you
they toss a penny down
Sometimes just to cheer you up
make a smile out of your frown

So don’t pass by that penny
when you’re feeling blue
It may be a penny from heaven
that an angel tossed to you.

- – - written by Charles L. Mashburn
Copyright © 1998 C Mashburn

Read more at Poem : Pennies from Heaven 

And I find penny's.  Not all the time.  Random times.

Last year, my grandfather passed away.  When I came home from the funeral, I had been home for about two days.  I went to one of those "sprayer car wash places".  You know, pay $2.00 rinse the car off and call it clean.  It's really hard to keep your car clean in Colorado.  As when you wash it, well, the next day it will snow, then the car is dirty again.  In the summer, it rains every afternoon.

My Papo used to tell me to wash my headlights - it helped let the light shine.  I remembered that every time I washed my car.

This time, while washing the car, there were two pennies on the ground in front of the headlights - one for each headlight.  It made me smile.  Thanks Papo.  I knew you were in Heaven and had let me know.

I went to a funeral on January 4th.  A death way to young.  His name was Guy.  He was 36 years old.  It was a beautiful service.  We had worked together at the last start up I helped.  He was wound tighter than anyone I know.  He had 5 heart attacks in 24 hours.  Declared brain dead.  His organs were all donated and the service was moved until after the new year.

Yesterday, I was at a hockey rink - one of the other employees was there too.  I walked in late and had to run to the restroom.  As I was going in, I looked down and there was bright, shiny penny.  It had the year 2013 on it.  The year Guy died.

I picked it up.  After going to the restroom, I found the other mom and gave her the penny.  I told her it was from Guy.  I asked her if she knew about the "Penny's from Heaven".  She didn't know.  I explained that this was her penny from Guy.

Today at the club where I work out, there was a penny again - on the floor in front of my locker. Facing heads up - bright & shiny with the year 2013 on it.  This one was for me.

Thanks Guy!

My favorite "Penny from Heaven" story?  Yes, even more than the two above.

About 13 years ago, a dear family friend of mine lost his step-son.  The son had fallen asleep at the wheel.  He never knew what happened.

Needless to say, this was a very tragic time in our families lives.  My dear friend was completely distraught.  Life was a mess for several years.

Several years later, we went skiing.  Me, him, my boys.  It was his first time skiing since his son had died. You see, skiing was something they did together.  Something they did every weekend.  It was "their" thing.

It was an emotional day.  It was a great day.

The boys were finishing ski school - we were walking back to the truck to put our stuff away.  On top of the snow, in the middle of the street - ALMOST to the car, there was a penny.  I stopped and picked it up.  My friend was in front of me.  He was already by the car.

I hear this "WHAT are you doing?".  "There is penny", I replied.  "Seriously?" He said, "You stopped to pick up a penny?".  "What year was Josh (the step-son) born in?"  "Oh, I don't know 77?"  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Me, "Josh sent us a penny."  "WHAT,  ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

I tell him the penny story.  I ramble for a bit on all the pennies I've found from angels I've known.  All of them.  I haven't NOT found a penny from an angel I've known here on Earth.

The penny date was a year off.  He said, "Josh would have figured that was close enough".

Winter Training

Training in the winter is different then training in the spring, summer and fall.  At least for me.  I live in Denver.

We get four seasons.  We GET winter.  It snows.  It is cold.  We do get lots of sunshine.  We do get 50 degree days.  

Just not every day. 

I HATE running on the treadmill.  Really, I don't like running.  Well, I mean I do, but I don't.  We have a love/hate relationship.  Only I never really get to the "love" stage - more to the "I like you, like you" stage.  

So, I'm training for something I said I didn't want to do again until 2016.  And it's winter.  And I have less than 90 days to get ready.  

But, I'm doing it.  I'm training for a marathon.  I put together my training schedule:

	Week	MON	TUES	WED	THURS	FRI	SAT	SUN
6-Jan	1	Rest				4.5	6.5	10	21
13-Jan	2	Rest	4	6	4	cross	8	cross	22
20-Jan	3	Rest	4	7	4	cross	10	cross	25
27-Jan	4	Rest	4	7	4	cross	11	cross	26
3-Feb	5	Rest	4	8	4	cross	12	cross	28
10-Feb	6	Rest	5	8	5	cross	14	cross	32
17-Feb	7	Rest	5	10	5	cross	16	cross	36
24-Feb	8	Rest	5	12	5	cross	18	cross	40
3-Mar	9	Rest	5	10	5	cross	20	cross	40
10-Mar	10	Rest	5	12	5	cross	17	cross	39
17-Mar	11	Rest	5	8	5	cross	15	cross	33
24-Mar	12	Rest	4	8	4	cross	12	cross	28
31-Mar	13	Rest	3 mile	2 mile		20 minutes	STROLL THROUGH PARIS		31.2
									401.2

This is just my guide.  I should have made it equal 414.2 miles, but I don't really want to run those extra 13 miles.  It would have had to be an extra 14 miles - then the numbers wouldn't have been even.  I'm not really even going to run 401.2 miles as I'm already behind.

I'm kinda on track.  I ran 6 miles today.  Only 2 yesterday, but I also went to yoga.  Today I had to wear a hat and gloves and walk around ice on the trail.  

Good things:  It's not too hot

I don't have to get up and run at 4:30 in the morning to avoid  the heat.

I'm not near as dehydrated.  

The mountains look incredible with the snow on top of them.

And when I run in Paris, in April, I can leave all these winter clothes at the start line.......

Doing this Backwards

I didn't have any adventures last year.  Last year was about getting through it.  It's over now.

One of the things I've realized about my life:  if I plan it, I will make it happen.  It's a goal.  So, I'm now planning the first six months of this year.  Let me tell you, I'm booked already.

Carolyn visits in January
Vegas in February - for a hockey tournament (I haven't booked the flights, but I have to go)
March - Moab annual camping trip.
The start of April, I'm going to Paris.  I'm running another marathon.  My running buddy whom wants to go.  The things I do for trips.
End of April - Granny/Leasa birthday trip to Nashville.  A half-marathon.
May  - St Louis to see my nephews graduate high school.

The Hawaii people are going to come stay in my house while I'm in Moab/Paris.  As of right now, they don't think they are coming for the summer.  I have a feeling though, they will be here.  And if not, I've already started looking for other people to swap with.  I'm not quite ready to give up our Hawaii summers.  

The boys and I did talk briefly about going another place.  Trying a new adventure.  We just aren't quite done with our old one yet.

NOW - I have this all planned.  I'm all committed to all sorts of people.  I'm in.  

As I look back at my life, I plan it, then I figure out how to pay for it.  If I don't plan it, I don't have extra money sitting around.  I won't have any money AND I won't have done anything (best example is the year 2013).

So, I'm booked.  I'm planned.  Now to go find the money......

2014

14 goals for 2014.


Each goal then has 14 parts.

But first, let me tell you about 2013.  It was about time.  It was Deux Time.  Time to start over.  Time to breathe.  Time to just let go.  Or hang on longer than I should. Well, of course, that's what I deux......

I'm sure I remember a year in the past that I wanted to be over.  But for some reason, it wasn't last year.

HOWEVER, last year, well, is OVER.

So, for this year, I'm starting with my theme again.  Knowing full well, well this "isn't what I meant".

It's the year of 14.  14 things - and each of those is another 14.  But we count both sides.  There AND back as TWO.  Just because we go, doesn't mean we have to go back - so, here goes:

14 miles per week - running that is - more details to follow
14 random acts of kindness
14 pounds to lose
14 thank you notes to write
14 trips (7 round trip.  As we know, I've booked MANY a ONE way tickets in my life)
14 placements (work)
14 things to acquire (me, the SO non-materialistic girl - I will acquire maybe, 14 places place my STUFF).  Afterall, I bought a juicer this year.

I count each of those as double.  As it's only 7, but really 14.   You have to count there AND back.

Tomorrow, I'm buying 14 pairs of new panties.  It's time  (I should have done this last year). It's new.

It really has nothing to do with panties.  It's all about new.

I don't know when I've ever done one thing.  I'm doing 14 new things this year.

The Unrequited love

The love we can't have.   The love we had for a "moment", but we couldn't/didn't hold on to it.  For some reason, the timing just isn't right.

It's is story of my life.  Right time.  Wrong place.  Right place - wrong time.  

I'm not talking about my flirting friend.  I'm talking about a time and a place and it wasn't meant to be.  Or at least not, right now.  

We've all had those.  So instead of really 

But this story is not about me.  It's about my son.  He got a taste of the "unrequited love" of life.  They "I want you to be my girlfriend" and instead of saying yes.  She said nothing.  Too scared to say yes (after all, they were 14), but not wanting to let him go.  Then, when she wanted "more", well, it was too late.  

The back and forth game begins.

There is this website with teenagers called ask.fm  Then you ad your "handle". and you can "anonymously" ask anyone on this site anything.  Although, as we know, nothing on the Internet is "anonymous".  

So, she's posting all over the place of how in love she is.  Then he posts "I'm in love".  Well, she doesn't like this.  Of course she doesn't.  All I can think is "I want you to still be missing me - even though I'm out living my life, you need to miss me".  

I remember being that girl.  

You scare me to death.  Only, I want you here with me - while I go play.  (Much like their mom and dad's).  But just remember, while you are "out there" looking - the one you missed out on, well, was the one you had in the first place.  Don't spend your whole life wondering what it "would have been like".  Don't miss your chance.

If you aren't smart enough to realize it the first time, realize it the second time....

Flirting is Free

What is it about the Lifetime Network movies that suck you in?  (I think it's now called LMN - versus Lifetime)

These are bad "Made for TV Movies", whom usually start out okay.  Then after the first twist or 20 minutes, well, they are dreadful.  If you try starting one in the middle, it just doesn't work.  If you start, at well, the start, they in some way, hook you in.  Then next thing you know, it's two hours later and you are crying because you watched this movie.

Almost five years ago, I started watching a Lifetime movie - it was called "Flirting with Forty".  Oh, what's her name.  Heather Locklear was the lead.  It was a summer day.  We still had real cable back then.  Not the "ghetto cable" (as the boys call it) we have today.  (They should consider themselves lucky - we are about to get rid of cable and "stream" TV)

I digress.

I get sucked into this movie.  Long story short:  Heather goes to Hawaii and meets a young surf instructor and ends up flying back and forth.  They break up.  Then one day he shows up IN DENVER - Because, THAT IS WHERE SHE LIVED.

Remind you now, this was BEFORE my little Hawaii adventure.  I just remember watching the movie and being really jealous.  Then I discovered she was "living in Denver" - then I was just pissed.  I'm sure the movie isn't very "good", but in my mind, well, you can see, I still remember it.  (Yes, she was divorced and had two kids).

Then next thing you know.  Well, okay, not really.  It was two years later, my adventure to Hawaii began.  I was "Flirting in my 40's".

I'm a good flirt.  It's fun to flirt.  And truthfully, I'm more "talk".  Don't get me wrong, I've gotten into my share of trouble from flirting, but really, it's fun to flirt.

Flirting makes you feel like a million bucks.  You feel attractive.  They feel attractive.  The best flirting is all that is done - then left alone.  It was free.  No need to act.

This New Years Eve we were on our annual pilgrimage to see friends we always see.  To the New Years Eve party we have attended for the last 5 years (minus 1).  My "brothers" were there.  My sons were too.  Some other great friends we've met over the years too.  AND, my flirting buddy.

We met with this group years ago.  He's married.  He's got kids. (They were still out of town from the holiday's).  He's a great looking guy - in shape, smart and successful.  And we are attracted to each other.

But only in a flirting kind of way.  In fact, we usually just say hi and smile - then walk in the other room.

This year though, we texted each other during the party.  It was fun.  It made me feel like a million bucks.  Silly stuff - "I like your socks" - was one of the texts.  "Thanks for trying to kill us when we were shooting off the fireworks" was another.

Nothing sexual.  Nothing risque - unless you are counting "I'm going outside - do you have extra clothing I can borrow?  Like your gloves."  Just flirting.

Just like that - the night ended.  That was the end of our flirting.  Back to the real world.

Flirting is free.

Wrapping Up the Year

For me, the hoopla around New Years is not about the New Year.  It's about the old year.  Wrapping it up. Coming to a close.  I can't celebrate the START of something - we don't know yet what it is going to bring.

I guess I can't really celebrate the ending of something.  Maybe I don't want it to end?  It's a wrap-up. Maybe it's a break-up that you aren't ready for.

For me, (and you can laugh if you want), my "fiscal" year, usually runs from July to July.  Not this arbitrary January to January stuff.  As I was born in June - my year runs until June.  I do better from July to July.  January though is a good way to look at my "calendar" year.

Of course, that whole time of your life that you are in school - your "calendar year" is September to June.  Taking a break from June to September.

The nice thing though - I look at the ending, not the start.  What I'm wrapping up.  What I'm finishing.  I can't really prepare for the "what is going to happen next".  I can just tell you what ISN'T going to happen next. What I'm finished doing.

I do have some goals for next year.  Because, you know what?  I really set no goals for 2013.  And you know what?  I didn't achieve anything.  I survived.  I don't like just surviving.

What I'm done doing:

• Surviving - mentally, physically, fiscally, spiritually.  I'm done with "surviving".  "Surviving" has never been enough for me.  Why is "getting through all this" now enough for me?
• Not planning trips.  I had NO adventures this year.  And no, Hawaii does not count - we "went" there - there was no adventure.
• Wearing my workout clothes all the time.  I don't even work out all the time.  
• Being worried about the next phase of my life.  The boys will be off in college soon - and just life everything else, there is something waiting for all of us.  I just have to be present.
• Having the opportunity for sadness in my life.  I had the opportunity to attend 5 funerals this year.  I have one more left on January 4.  While, I only attended 3, that's more than I've ever attended in one year before.  It doesn't matter if they were young or old, it was sadness - and I just need to keep remember I was glad I was touched by so many wonderful people.
• Not being in charge of my life.  It's amazing when I step-up in FRONT of my life, I have a great time.

My goals for 2014? Those will come next week.  When I'm not hungover.  When I've experienced some new traditions. When I'm in Denver.  When I've wrapped up 2013.  When I'm ready to thrive.....