I'm just not ready for that

Last summer while getting the house ready to leave, we boxed up tons of stuff.  We donated old clothes, got rid of stuff we hadn't used in a while and boxed up the valuables and clutter. 

One of the bags/boxes was full of Nolan's stuffed animals.  He was 11 turning 12 last summer.  Still very much a little boy at heart.  Yes, he's the cool hockey goalie.  The cute boy at school whom all the older girls think is cute.  And still a little boy. 

He was a collector of monkeys for years.  We have lots of monkeys.  And he still had this great fish Nemo.  In addition to the other animals on the bed.

Upon returning from the summer,  we un-boxed MOST of the stuff.  The bag of stuffed animals went into his room.  A few months later, they were all still in the bag.  I asked if it was time to put them away.  As in, put the bag in the attic or crawl space.  He said yes.

I guess if you've now kissed a girl, it's time to put your stuffed animals away.  (and I just realized Nolan is now a follower of this blog - sorry Nolan, it's part of the story!)

This summer we are getting the house ready again.  Nolan mentions, "You know the little girl whom is going to come stay in our house this summer?  Maybe she would like my old stuffed animals".  "That is very sweet Nolan.  She would probably like some of them.  Others, I'm not quite ready to give away". 

What?  He smiled.  If you've seen Toy Story 3, you know there comes a time when they have to go to a new home. 

Maybe some of them can go.  Last summer, I had suggested we take Nemo with us and let him go in the ocean.  The reply was "Mom, he would just sink".  ;-)  I do laugh when I think of this stuffed Nemo fish floating around the bay.   But, Nemo's the one I really can't get rid of.

Maybe I'll be ready next summer........

Tales of a Florist Delivery Driver

I'm a recruiter by occupation.  And a good one at that.

Truth be told, it BORES me to death.  BORED out of my mine bored.  There is no challenge.  It's a good job - and it's flexible.  And I'm very very lucky. Obviously, VERY flexible.  Just what I need in my life.  And I make decent money. Yes, it's scary at times not knowing if the paycheck is coming. Or WHEN it's coming.  Other than THAT - (Mrs. Lincoln, how was the theater??)

So to keep me from my boredness, yes I know you are asking "When could she possibly have time to be bored?".  I'm not bored - that I don't have anything to do - I'm bored that I'm not challenged.  My life is pretty much under control - which I like - don't get me wrong.  Sometimes I do different things.

As an entrepreneur, I know lots of other business owners. They let me work for them on occasion.  Mother's Day is this weekend and a friend of mine owns a florist.  They are super busy and needed an extra delivery driver.  PERFECT.  I'm your gal.  I don't have to be in charge, I don't have to think - I get to show up, put flowers in my car and go make people smile.

STOP #1:

I couldn't have written this one so well.  Double gated house.  I'm buzzed in at the gate.  Finally get back to the house.  Hot college guy opens door with towel on.  Seriously.  No shirt.  No shoes.  Just a towel.  Why the heck was he buzzing people in the drive???  Seriously.  My you are hot.

And I smiled.  No - sorry fans, not a Desperate Housewives moment - I look like his mom, and well, he looks like he could be friends with my oldest son.  But for a moment - I was the one with the smile....

STOP #2

John and Anna Sie.  Google that name.  They also lived in a gated community.  On this property though there are a few houses.  I was buzzed in and told to drive to the main house. Okay?  Would I know the main house from the others?  Yes.  Most definitely.  The house manager signed for these flowers.  These were special - not there normal $2000 or more per month worth of flowers.  And the cascading waterfall was gorgeous.

STOP # 4 or 5

Sweet old lady on oxygen.  Whom told me:  I needed to learn the different flowers and filler.  Even after I explained I was just a "sub".  I was making people happy (yes, flowers do brighten a day) and that I was very pretty. Thank you. 

This flower delivery thing isn't so bad.

The rest of the stops were uneventful, but everyone smiled.  The next day - I had 11 deliveries.

THE DAY OF THE DOGS:

EVERYONE - okay, not everyone, but the first four deliveries all had dogs.  Numerous dogs.  They all wanted to say hi.

Couple of cute door guys in buildings.  I think my next house is going to have a door guy.  I like that idea.

A couple of things I learned:

I already know:  I hate running errands.  Stop, Start, Stop, Start.  Long term I wouldn't be good at this.

I earned a couple hundred dollars, a tank of gas and made people happy for a day.  Isn't that kind of what I do with recruiting?  Only, it's not so hard, I can make people happy and I earn a lot more money.  It taught me something - I'll be happy to be back at my desk tomorrow morning..

Brave and Stupid

Sounds like characters out of a movie.  "Brave" and "Stupid".  You picture "BRAVE"  :  Strong, heroic, good-looking, in-shape, relentless.  You picture "Stupid":  clumsy, not-confident, mismatched. Brad Pitt movies vs Adam Sandler movies.

That's the picture.  That's not reality.  There is a much different version of "Brave" and "Stupid".  They are actually much closer than they appear. 

People tell me all the time:  "You are brave".  Am I brave because of the outcome?  Am I brave because I succeeded in the venture?  What if I failed?  "would I then be reckless or stupid?"  Does our "outcome" predict our future?

If you are a "regular" here on the blog, you know I traded my house last summer for a house in Hawaii.  Upon telling friends/family I was doing this - the reaction was varied.  Congratulations.  How cool.  Can I come with you?  What about your stuff?  Do you trust these people?  Do you know these people?  What about your cat? What if they destroy your house?  What if you get there and it's not what they said?

YOU KNOW WHAT????

NOT ONE PERSON SAID:

"Hey, call me and I'll do I what I can to help you, if it isn't what you thought".  There were a few "Do you have a back up plan?"

Are we really stupid in life or is it just what people have been telling us all these years?  "Oh, I could NEVER do that".    That fine line between Brave and Stupid.

SO, let's run the story the other way. 

WHAT IF:
    I had arrived in Hawaii to find  a beat up car and a run down house and they were en route to my house?
or
    I had come home and my house was trashed?
or
    My cat had run away and they had wrecked my car?
or
   On and on and on?

It would be really interesting to compare the people whom wanted to come with me to the people whom believed in me....

IF the second thing had happened, would I be labeled as "STUPID" not "BRAVE"?  However, since the whole thing was a success, I was "BRAVE".

BRAVE MEANS:

• Taking a risk
• Trying
• Knowing the potential will be worth more than what you have
• Accepting you can fail, even when you take that risk

STUPID MEANS:

• Driving drunk
• Not listening to your instinct
• Not doing your homework
• Not trying

Not "Brave" and "Stupid"- there is a difference in the two, but the line is much finer than we think.  More like Brave/Stupid.

For instance:  I once went skiing with an old boyfriend, his girlfriend and a male friend of mine.  We went down an incredible run.  Then the girlfriend and I ended up riding up on a lift together.  She said to me:  "So, how do you know Justin?"  Seriously?  I'm sure my look was pure shock.  "You don't know who I am?" I wanted to say.  And in that moment, he went from BRAVE to STUPID.  "He didn't tell you I was the love of his life? And it wasn't going to work out between us?""  Okay, I didn't say all that - and THAT was the moment - he owed me.  He risked it all.  HE WAS BRAVE.  He would have only been stupid if he had known I wouldn't volley, but he knew I would. Truly, I told the truth, "We met years ago, I'm a recruiter, and we've been connected ever since."

However, maybe he wanted me to tell her all his secrets.  It would have let him off the hook.  Maybe I wasn't brave.  Was I the stupid one?  The one that held his secret?

I have a story to tell.  I know I've told this story before, but I'm not sure I've told more than one person or maybe two.  I can tell you a defining moment in my life about Brave and Stupid.

        I was 32 years old.  I had just moved out of the house with my husband and kids.  I was living in a 2 bedroom "row house" in Washington Park.  I had been laid off.  So, basically, I had no husband, 50/50 custody of my kids, no job and no house.  If you look at "standards" in life, I was failing.  I was buying a business.  It was April 30th.  In the middle of the night, I woke up in a cold sweat.  I called the business broker - it was 4:30 in the morning.  I can't do it.  Sorry!  

  

     I had never awoken in cold sweat.  I couldn't do it.  I had given it everything I had.  I had tried.  I had tried it all.  I couldn't take one more step.  I will go get a job.

     24 hours passed.  This time when I awoke in the middle of the night?  "What if I fail?"  And the voice inside my head said:  "So what?"  "What if you fail?".  Then I thought for a moment.  WORST CASE SCENARIO:  What is the WORST thing that can happen?  WORST THING?.  

• This whole thing falls apart
• I could have no place to live
• I could fail
• I could have to file bankruptcy

AND THAT"S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU?

No, the worst thing that could EVER happen to you:

• Staying married to a guy you don't love
• In a job you don't like
• In a career you don't want to do.

THAT, would be worse than filing bankruptcy?

These things don't mean you won't hurt if you fail.  Failure hurts.  Truly, the only failure there is, well, is the failure to try.  And failing to try doesn't make you "stupid".  It might just make you smart.  You know yourself.

I won't judge you.  I'm here to support you - call when you want to try - I'll help you pick up the pieces.  Or I'll help you celebrate your victory.  It's okay if you don't want me there for the victory lap - I've done my part.

Just go be brave.

And just go try.  It doesn't make you stupid.  It makes you brave. 

I'm face to face with the enemy

and it's me looking back in the mirror.

Whew, what a relief to say that out-loud. The truest part of that statement, well, it's the relief that I feel saying it out loud.

The only enemies we have in life, truly, are the one's we create.  I hate to break it to you.  But, only your mother cares that much about you.  Get over the rest.

There is a man in town whom I've been having lunch with.  I'm not sure how else to describe our friendship.  We have lunch once a week.  My goodness, is he a nice looking, nice dressed man.  He's 37.  And although, I can't tell you Canani from Murani - I know he's not shopping at Target...... (He would be SO offended if I told you that)   So, in other words:  He's a very well dressed man whom takes me to lunch.

That's it.

Oh, my is he handsome.  And wealthy.  AND........ a million other words we would like in our lives.  ONLY:  IT"S NOT THERE.

Sorry

Truly.

Then, even better, you remember a moment - at least 5 years ago when he was out with a woman, and you met him.  He's not going to remember you.  You met him in a "moment" at least 5 years ago.

There are several moments, I hope no one remembers me from.  The moment, I knew he knew this woman. Well, I hate to say this, but I had NO interest in ever seeing him again.  It's funny.  She's smart.  She's successful. There are lots of positives about her.  About him.

I've been recruiting now for 19 years and I know people.  People lie.  People tell the truth.  I'm almost 99% sure I can tell the difference.

AND I know real from not real. And if you are out with someone whom you shouldn't be and now "we're friends", well.....   

ONLY once have I been burned.  I thought my friend was a real friend, but he wasn't.  I just took it that GOD wanted me to meet the people in his life (they are still my friends).  This time.  Remember, I learned the lesson before.

Really, the funny thing is:  I'm a lot like this girl. Or am I?  At least I think I am.  I think I'm judging myself.  I'm looking at this woman like the rest of the world looks at me....

Only,

I'm prettier
smarter
more fun
real
and, well,



you get the idea.....


Maybe, I'm just Cinderella looking through the glass......

The worst thing:  I wrote this GREAT incredible story.  AND well all knew there was something missing.  The moment.  Quit tying to want more.  Just enjoy it.

The enemy,  she's going be on your side.  You know that.  Just breathe.

And I promise this is maturity.  It's only maturity because I can say this.  For the first time I believe it:

"I would rather you love  - even if that love doesn't include me"

She's looking back at me....

What is a Penny for?

• Fountain wishes - what else would I throw in a fountain?
• Horsey rides at the grocery store - yes, they are still just $.01
• When something is $1.99 - what would the store clerk give you for change?
• What if you wanted to pay the exact amount in cash and your total is $1.01?
• Something to put on the train track (or in the machine at the amusement park)
• Your thoughts
• A note from heaven.  (Google Penny's from Heaven)
• To make some one's day.  Have you EVER seen a penny on the ground and not smiled?  ;-) 

The next time to have a penny in your hand, don't get upset or annoyed.  Just smile.  Someone is smiling with you.

Dear Leasa,

You are 42 years old.  You live in Denver, Colorado and have two sons whom are in middle school - they play ice hockey.  One is defense, one is a goalie. (I realize you don't even know the positions = you will). One is finishing 8th grade, the other 7th. (You are also divorced, contrary to upbringing - it's not the end of the world.  You married a really good guy.  He's a GREAT dad. You couldn't have picked a better dad for your children).

And here is what I have to tell you.

Your Granny & Papo are still alive.  They will be married 65 years on May 1st.  Papo is not doing well, but everyone has been worried about him for years.  It's Granny that you need to watch.  She says she okay.  And she will still make you look like you are standing still.  She has a million activities - she loves everything about your life.

But it took you until 42 to learn a few things.  And it's not just Granny, it's women from the South and life.  I hope you read this when you are young enough to change, yet old enough to know you need to carry some of it forward.  This is what you need to learn:

• When someone says  "Bless your heart"  - they really do feel empathy.  They also want you to get over yourself.  It's not that bad.
• When a lady tells you "That's nice" - she is bored - she's just being polite  (and you will have a GREAT JOKE that everyone in VAIL loves about this comment - you learned this one early)
• FIXIN - has NOTHING to do with the car.  It can be dinner, it can be your face and it can mean ABOUT TOO.  After all, you are from Texas.
• STILL - don't EVER tell someone "they look pretty - STILL"  or  "For their age".  Just stop at "you look pretty" OR 'You have nice skin'.
• PLEASE, don't ever say "are you wearing that?"  THAT'S just rude.  Obviously, whomever you are about to say that too is wearing it or you wouldn't have to think "are you wearing that?"  You can still THINK that.  Please just do not say it out loud.  It's embarrassing, for everyone.
• The thing that will really "drive you crazy" is the following phrase:  "don't tell anyone".  Here is your thought  "PLEASE DON'T BURDEN ME WITH your secret".  Some how, if you tell someone else, and tell them not to tell, it lets you off the hook.  When someone tells you this, please tell them something that you KNOW they will not keep a secret. Then say the same thing.  OR say, NO, please don't tell me.  I KNOW you are dying to know what they will say, but have some respect.  For yourself.
• The college kid on the plane next to you, buy him a drink - it turns out to be his birthday.  Sometimes, you can just be, being nice.
• The scariest words you will ever hear are in written form.  They come in an e-mail with a picture and it says "is this you?" or "do you know these girls".  Yes, STILL.  You've still got it.
• You will LOVE movies you never thought you'd like.  For reasons you won't even begin to understand.   
• You cry at Soul Surfer and the Blind Side not because you wish you were the main character, because you are jealous that they are the Mom you were supposed to be.  Only you didn't know you had it in you. You are just jealous.  That's Hollywood. 
•  That skinny teenager with glasses, and NO self-esteem.  She does okay.
• Your parents love you.  So does your Aunt.  You also love your sister. She loves you too.  And well, you all always knew your grand-parents would do anything in the world for you. 
• You have INCREDIBLE friends.  
• You are in for a bumpy ride, but hang on, it's all worth it.

I can't even prepare you for being 42.  After all, that skinny, curly haired girl is still in there.  She just has a few pounds on her (Believe it or not) .  And even better hair product. (You will have GREAT hair). 

Just remember - hang on.  You got out.  Don't ever forget what made you you.

You couldn't even have dreamed it this well.


Aloha

Plagiarism

What is plagiarism?  Whom has the first claim to a written thought?  Is anything ever new?

What if I had a thought - then wrote it down.  While you might have had the same thought and didn't write it down.  OR you had a thought - then months/years later you read the same type of thought. 

These are confusing times......

I wrote a post while in Hawaii this spring  AND granted, I QUOTED it from an article 

" a person can only take so much beauty and inspiration before they have to get back to the grocery list".  We take for granted what we see on the way to the store.

Today, I'm reading a book - "The Rum Diaries" - and NO, I'm not reading it because Johnny Deep is in the movie.  Once again, it's me and a "classic" I need to read.  Hunter S. Thompson  I'm on Chapter 17, page 169 and I read this:  "The delicate illusions that get us through life can only stand so much strain-"......

Those two quotes SOUND very similar.  I didn't plagiarize - I quoted what I had read.  BUT WHAT IF, that person took their writing style from Hunter S Thompson?

Where do we define the line?

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, to "plagiarize" means

• to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own
• to use (another's production) without crediting the source
• to commit literary theft
• to present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source.

In other words, plagiarism is an act of fraud. It involves both stealing someone's work and lying about it afterward.

I understand photographs.  If I take a picture and you use the picture I took for your brochure, website, etc without my permission that is plagiarism.  It's very simple.

What if some us actually think the same?  Not only think the same, but are able to express our thoughts the same?

I'm not talking college essays' here - I'm talking about my rambling thoughts used in your article.  Your quote used in my "wall post" on Facebook.

Where do we draw the line?   This line might make a circle......