You know when you have a moment you really want to capture? Only there is no way to capture. No picture would do it justice. No word could describe it. It's a just a moment you want to hold on to forever.
I hope I can describe a moment I want to remember forever. Really, it's two moments. Each boy. But it was the same reaction from each of them.
The night after I picked up Nolan from the airport - we had spent the day at the beach and we were headed home. You can drive down the highway - which is really a two way road (sometimes there are three lanes, maybe four at one point, but not far. Granny was surprised the roads were paved (I digress)) home, then make a left turn, go up a windy road for about a mile and then there is the house.
OR
You can take the back road. You turn off the main road, on to the "road in front of the house" - only it's 6 miles from the house. It's windy. There are huge trees. Hairpin turns. Chickens crossing the road. It's plush, it's green (it's paved) and it's beautiful. If you look out between the trees through the passenger side window, you can see the sun and the ocean. Our house is at about 1500 feet elevation, so you are also climbing as you are curving.
There is this one point, about a half mile from the house and I look over at Nolan. There was a smile from EAR TO EAR. There are really no words. A picture wouldn't have done it justice. The biggest smile ever.
A week later, I pick up Duncan. Same sequence of events - airport, beach, back road home. Another smile from EAR TO EAR. I literally could feel him about to explode. I seriously thought he was just going to burst right there in the car.
You could feel the happiness. The joy. The excitement.
One day, I hope wherever they are, they can remember this moment and "get there".
Friday, July 12, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
The Pied Piper
You know the bulletin board at the grocery store? Or the community center or inside your favorite fish market. You know the place in the middle of nowhere has a bulletin board too.
On those bulletin boards, or taped to counters or to walls there are announcements. Things for sales. Missing pets. Upcoming activities. Services offered. Some of them have those "tear off" slips with a phone number. Others just tell you when and where to go to do/get/see whatever it is. I guess Craigslist is life's ultimate "bulletin board" - and it changed my life.
I'm the person whom stops and looks at those. Not all the time. Not every time. Not only do I look at them, I then act upon those little "callings" in life. I call. I show up.
Example One: Jr Lifeguard training. There was a half of a piece of paper taped to the wall between the public bathrooms on the public beach last summer.
Example Two: Craigslist - I could list a million things here, but that's an older blog.
Example Three: Last week in a place called "The Poke Shack" (pronounced Po-kee), there was a flyer on the counter about a "FREE BOOTCAMP" Three weeks - every Wednesday and Saturday.
I had gone paddling on Saturday morning, so I missed the first Saturday. I went on Wednesday. There were 5 of us plus the instructor and her husband. The boot camp is on the same lawn as the bay where I go paddle. It was a good work out. When it was almost over, I asked, "So, why are you doing this for free". She answered, "well, we are in town for 3 weeks and I don't want to work out alone. That way I have people to work out with.". Okay, I'm now in love with the best idea ever.
What a great idea!!! Find something you like to do. Tell others that you are offering it "for free" - boom, you suddenly have a group of people all doing what you like to do!
Yes, we all spoke about how it hard to go do something on your own, by yourself. It's always easier when you have someone else. Yet, here we were, a group of individuals, going to do something by ourselves with other people.
Then in turn, I told them about me and the Canoe Club. "It's right here, Tues/Thurs/Sat at 6:30am or 8am - be about ten minutes early. It's a great group. Everyone is very friendly and it's free." (If you want to join the club you can, which I did today - the dues are good for a year)
One of the women from boot camp showed up this morning for paddling, and she brought a friend. Another one showed up for the 8am group.
And so it continues.....
On those bulletin boards, or taped to counters or to walls there are announcements. Things for sales. Missing pets. Upcoming activities. Services offered. Some of them have those "tear off" slips with a phone number. Others just tell you when and where to go to do/get/see whatever it is. I guess Craigslist is life's ultimate "bulletin board" - and it changed my life.
I'm the person whom stops and looks at those. Not all the time. Not every time. Not only do I look at them, I then act upon those little "callings" in life. I call. I show up.
Example One: Jr Lifeguard training. There was a half of a piece of paper taped to the wall between the public bathrooms on the public beach last summer.
Example Two: Craigslist - I could list a million things here, but that's an older blog.
Example Three: Last week in a place called "The Poke Shack" (pronounced Po-kee), there was a flyer on the counter about a "FREE BOOTCAMP" Three weeks - every Wednesday and Saturday.
I had gone paddling on Saturday morning, so I missed the first Saturday. I went on Wednesday. There were 5 of us plus the instructor and her husband. The boot camp is on the same lawn as the bay where I go paddle. It was a good work out. When it was almost over, I asked, "So, why are you doing this for free". She answered, "well, we are in town for 3 weeks and I don't want to work out alone. That way I have people to work out with.". Okay, I'm now in love with the best idea ever.
What a great idea!!! Find something you like to do. Tell others that you are offering it "for free" - boom, you suddenly have a group of people all doing what you like to do!
Yes, we all spoke about how it hard to go do something on your own, by yourself. It's always easier when you have someone else. Yet, here we were, a group of individuals, going to do something by ourselves with other people.
Then in turn, I told them about me and the Canoe Club. "It's right here, Tues/Thurs/Sat at 6:30am or 8am - be about ten minutes early. It's a great group. Everyone is very friendly and it's free." (If you want to join the club you can, which I did today - the dues are good for a year)
One of the women from boot camp showed up this morning for paddling, and she brought a friend. Another one showed up for the 8am group.
And so it continues.....
Being the Bigger Person
It's hard to be the bigger person. Not give into pettiness. I believe it's a daily challenge for most people NOT to play the game.
What is easy? To fight fire with fire. I'm good at winning things. Only most of the time, you realize if you have to fight for something, it's really not fighting for. Standing up for what you believe in, is worth fighting it.
SO, we have an ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend whom just cringes when I walk up. Rightly so, I think I would cringe as well if I had to see a boyfriends ex-girlfriend every day. Wait, scratch that. I wouldn't cringe. After all, if I'm the one with the boyfriend, why would an EX girlfriend of MY boyfriend cause me any concern? I'm living with him after all.
If I were insecure and immature, maybe. As mentioned previously, the teenagers around here are acting more mature than some adults.
Aren't we all a bit insecure? Of course we are. Everyone has different levels of insecurity -
Maybe it's:
But from someone on the OUTSIDE of your problems, it would be easy for me to tell you what to do.
(Don't you hate it when people do that???) You know, tell you the way you SHOULD behave and the way you SHOULD act.
I think that is the problem. We listen to other people. Instead of acting with kindness and realizing even if they did hurt us, that's the past, and there is nothing we can do about it now.
Most of the time, other people don't really disappoint us, it's OUR expectation of others that disappoints us. Yes, sometimes people do disappoint. They tell you they will do something and they don't do it. That is disappointing.
A dear friend of mine didn't come to my grandfathers funeral. He told me he would. It still hurts me that he didn't show up. He lived in the same town. He disappointed me.
I keep trying to be the bigger person and let it go, but I can't. He knows it too. We don't need to talk about it. But an apology sure would be nice. But that's MY expectation on the friendship situation. Not his.
Isn't that funny? Or is it just me? A simple apology is all I want. I'll either get the apology one day, or it will fade into the background of our friendship. I'm sure he thinks I owe him an apology for something else.
But tomorrow, I can't apologize to anyone for being the ex-girlfriend. Or apologize for being the mom of the boys whom the teenage girl loves. I can be kind - even if it is not returned.
I can be the bigger person.
What is easy? To fight fire with fire. I'm good at winning things. Only most of the time, you realize if you have to fight for something, it's really not fighting for. Standing up for what you believe in, is worth fighting it.
SO, we have an ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend whom just cringes when I walk up. Rightly so, I think I would cringe as well if I had to see a boyfriends ex-girlfriend every day. Wait, scratch that. I wouldn't cringe. After all, if I'm the one with the boyfriend, why would an EX girlfriend of MY boyfriend cause me any concern? I'm living with him after all.
If I were insecure and immature, maybe. As mentioned previously, the teenagers around here are acting more mature than some adults.
Aren't we all a bit insecure? Of course we are. Everyone has different levels of insecurity -
Maybe it's:
- trying something new
- calling someone for the first time
- asking a stranger directions
- Admitting you miss someone
- Making a right turn, instead of a left, because you've always made a left.
- leaving the house some days
- leaving the house without your car
- trusting yourself - as you know you have failed yourself before.
But from someone on the OUTSIDE of your problems, it would be easy for me to tell you what to do.
(Don't you hate it when people do that???) You know, tell you the way you SHOULD behave and the way you SHOULD act.
I think that is the problem. We listen to other people. Instead of acting with kindness and realizing even if they did hurt us, that's the past, and there is nothing we can do about it now.
Most of the time, other people don't really disappoint us, it's OUR expectation of others that disappoints us. Yes, sometimes people do disappoint. They tell you they will do something and they don't do it. That is disappointing.
A dear friend of mine didn't come to my grandfathers funeral. He told me he would. It still hurts me that he didn't show up. He lived in the same town. He disappointed me.
I keep trying to be the bigger person and let it go, but I can't. He knows it too. We don't need to talk about it. But an apology sure would be nice. But that's MY expectation on the friendship situation. Not his.
Isn't that funny? Or is it just me? A simple apology is all I want. I'll either get the apology one day, or it will fade into the background of our friendship. I'm sure he thinks I owe him an apology for something else.
But tomorrow, I can't apologize to anyone for being the ex-girlfriend. Or apologize for being the mom of the boys whom the teenage girl loves. I can be kind - even if it is not returned.
I can be the bigger person.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
What makes me me
I read a quote yesterday and it really made me think:
I was on the water this morning with the Canoe Club. I ended up with in a OC3 (6 seats and something that keeps us balanced - yes there is a name for it, don't remember what it is called). I normally paddle with a group of 12 (two 6 seaters connected). At first I felt a bit like the fat kid whom gets chosen last for kickball - I'm not very experienced and it takes a little more skill.
The people are nice, so I wasn't really worried, it was just a new thing. As we get out the bay, there is a school of dolphins asleep. They are just floating up and down. It was beautiful.
Then on the way in, they were awake. They were playing. There was a baby. There was a show-off. He was jumping and spinning. Then there was one on his back, flapping his tail at us. They were making dolphin noises. "Good morning to you too", I replied. We stopped paddling. We watched.
Denver, you will always have my heart, but Kona you have my soul.....
"Seduce my mind, and you can have my body,
Maybe it was reading this quote yesterday that made me realize something today.Find my soul and I'm yours forever."
I was on the water this morning with the Canoe Club. I ended up with in a OC3 (6 seats and something that keeps us balanced - yes there is a name for it, don't remember what it is called). I normally paddle with a group of 12 (two 6 seaters connected). At first I felt a bit like the fat kid whom gets chosen last for kickball - I'm not very experienced and it takes a little more skill.
The people are nice, so I wasn't really worried, it was just a new thing. As we get out the bay, there is a school of dolphins asleep. They are just floating up and down. It was beautiful.
Then on the way in, they were awake. They were playing. There was a baby. There was a show-off. He was jumping and spinning. Then there was one on his back, flapping his tail at us. They were making dolphin noises. "Good morning to you too", I replied. We stopped paddling. We watched.
Denver, you will always have my heart, but Kona you have my soul.....
Monday, July 8, 2013
Repeat Business
The try-outs for Jr Lifeguards were a little different this year. There was actually a limit on how many could get in the class. They don't have as many instructors.
We go there early. There was still quite a line. Turns out - the city (I think the city, it could be county) didn't allot enough money for the extra instructors, so they are short on instructors. They limited the class to 25 kids - they signed up 30 (knowing some will drop off), and have 5 "Jr Lifeguard Leaders". "Jr Lifeguard Leaders" - those whom have done the class before.
First thing - this class is TWENTY DOLLARS. AND, they get a t-shirt at the end of the two weeks. That being said - PLEASE, charge me $100 or even $50. Then you could pay an extra lifeguard to teach this PRICELESS class. I can guarantee you, I've never told anyone to charge me more for ANYTHING. I'm telling you now.
They test a bunch of kids. About 12 didn't make the first session. We are about 2 kids from the table when they told us all the class was full. Very sad, as we had two extra girls ready for the class too.
I had spoken to one of the instructors, and noticed an instructor from last year - Uncle Hoku. I said "My son, Duncan was in the class last year, he wants to be one of your "leaders" this year." Uncle Hoku, looks over at the other guard, and says "That's Duncan's mom - he can be one of our leaders". And well, since he has a little brother, we will put him in the class too" He looks at Lily and asks if this is his Little Sister, and as much as I wanted to say yes, I shook my head. (I'm not sure why her dad is so grumpy, he's supposed to be happy - don't relationships make you happy???)
We are going to call her in the morning if there is an extra spot.
So, we can write the mayor of Kona and tell them our opinion of this great program. I know we are lucky.
The lifeguard didn't have extra paperwork, so we will fill it out in the morning. He asked if I still minded paying. Are you kidding? No, I have NO problem paying. I have no problem paying for them or a problem bringing the instructors lunch for the next two weeks! What is it that you want me to pay????
I've wondered for years if it's best to go to the same place or try new places? I'm beginning to think you try new places, then keep going there again and again and again......
We go there early. There was still quite a line. Turns out - the city (I think the city, it could be county) didn't allot enough money for the extra instructors, so they are short on instructors. They limited the class to 25 kids - they signed up 30 (knowing some will drop off), and have 5 "Jr Lifeguard Leaders". "Jr Lifeguard Leaders" - those whom have done the class before.
First thing - this class is TWENTY DOLLARS. AND, they get a t-shirt at the end of the two weeks. That being said - PLEASE, charge me $100 or even $50. Then you could pay an extra lifeguard to teach this PRICELESS class. I can guarantee you, I've never told anyone to charge me more for ANYTHING. I'm telling you now.
They test a bunch of kids. About 12 didn't make the first session. We are about 2 kids from the table when they told us all the class was full. Very sad, as we had two extra girls ready for the class too.
I had spoken to one of the instructors, and noticed an instructor from last year - Uncle Hoku. I said "My son, Duncan was in the class last year, he wants to be one of your "leaders" this year." Uncle Hoku, looks over at the other guard, and says "That's Duncan's mom - he can be one of our leaders". And well, since he has a little brother, we will put him in the class too" He looks at Lily and asks if this is his Little Sister, and as much as I wanted to say yes, I shook my head. (I'm not sure why her dad is so grumpy, he's supposed to be happy - don't relationships make you happy???)
We are going to call her in the morning if there is an extra spot.
So, we can write the mayor of Kona and tell them our opinion of this great program. I know we are lucky.
The lifeguard didn't have extra paperwork, so we will fill it out in the morning. He asked if I still minded paying. Are you kidding? No, I have NO problem paying. I have no problem paying for them or a problem bringing the instructors lunch for the next two weeks! What is it that you want me to pay????
I've wondered for years if it's best to go to the same place or try new places? I'm beginning to think you try new places, then keep going there again and again and again......
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Things you learn from teenagers
I'm learning bunches this trip. Did you know?
- If your sheets are filled with dead skin and sand, you just need to shake them - they don't really need washing?
- It is possible to send/receive approximately 500 texts in less than 3 days - to one person? (this one really makes no sense to me as texting is available year round, but seems to be much more popular when you are in the same town (or even the same car) as this person.)
- It's completely possible to forget to wear shoes, shirts, towels and anything else you left the house with.
- Coral pieces can work to play toss. And adults aren't very good at toss (I was told maybe it was just me)
- It's possible to have 1400 "followers" on Instagram. And if you didn't know what Instagram was, teenagers can have to set up in minutes (word of warning though, the median age of your "followers" will be about 14)
- Shaved ice, a soda and a sandwich don't count as a meal or a snack. I guess it's just something that holds you over until the next grazing.
- It's completely possible for you to remember the name of the dog (Sherrie) of the guy at the beach from last year.
- That it is completely possible for some adults to age, yet still act less mature than the real teenagers. Even the teenagers recognize it.
- And the highest compliment you could ever be paid is: "We all want to go with you, we don't want to hang out with the adults". At least I think that was a compliment.
Your Happy Place
Find your happy place. Mine's on an island. Although you've probably figured that out by now.
I keep trying to make this place - well, normal. Regular. You know the place. The place where you do laundry. You run errands. You run into old grumpy boyfriends. You take the kids to their practices. You go to the grocery store. You drop off recycling. A place where you want to escape FROM. Not TO. Really, I try.
I keep trying to make this "life" - you know "just like at home". Well, I'm succeeding at that part. I joined the Canoe Club - I paddle on Tues, Thurs and Saturday mornings at 6:30am. We have to leave the house at 6:10. (Nolan's gone twice). Thursday we swam with dolphins in the ocean while out there paddling.
I work early in the mornings, I go paddle, I come home and work some more. The only time I do get annoyed? When I have to work. Well, I have to work. I figured it out though, Gypsy Girl lives stifled and a bit hidden nine months out of the year - so PLEASE, career woman, could you just go away for a couple of months?
Next week I will take some kids to Jr Life guarding - it's starts Monday. Pick them up at noon and then, well, we will go to the beach. Lunches have to be made. Laundry done.
Pretty much sounds like my life on the mainland. Hectic. Busy. Scheduled - the dreaded word. Only here, well, it doesn't make me sad or stressed or well any of those things. It makes me happy. I guess this would be my happy place.
Please, everyone, go find your happy place. You know - that stroll down the street - the one you love best - and go there. The quilt shop, the hike, the place that helps you be well you. Hang on to it for as long as you can. But not long enough to be afraid that there isn't another happy place to discover. Shhhh..... There might be more than one.
I'm envisioning a group of condos I'm going to own and manage one day. I'm calling my company "Happy Place". Come find it - it will be on VRBO. While this might not be YOUR Happy Place. It's mine. Go find yours too. Only don't get to hung up on the way you "think" your happy place should look. Never in a million years, could I have created this in my mind. It was larger than that. I wasn't capable of thinking I could create THIS happy place. I'm also sure I can't even imagine the vision of my "next" happy place. I am just here to enjoy this one.
PS. My imaginary dog's named Mango.
I keep trying to make this place - well, normal. Regular. You know the place. The place where you do laundry. You run errands. You run into old grumpy boyfriends. You take the kids to their practices. You go to the grocery store. You drop off recycling. A place where you want to escape FROM. Not TO. Really, I try.
I keep trying to make this "life" - you know "just like at home". Well, I'm succeeding at that part. I joined the Canoe Club - I paddle on Tues, Thurs and Saturday mornings at 6:30am. We have to leave the house at 6:10. (Nolan's gone twice). Thursday we swam with dolphins in the ocean while out there paddling.
I work early in the mornings, I go paddle, I come home and work some more. The only time I do get annoyed? When I have to work. Well, I have to work. I figured it out though, Gypsy Girl lives stifled and a bit hidden nine months out of the year - so PLEASE, career woman, could you just go away for a couple of months?
Next week I will take some kids to Jr Life guarding - it's starts Monday. Pick them up at noon and then, well, we will go to the beach. Lunches have to be made. Laundry done.
Pretty much sounds like my life on the mainland. Hectic. Busy. Scheduled - the dreaded word. Only here, well, it doesn't make me sad or stressed or well any of those things. It makes me happy. I guess this would be my happy place.
Please, everyone, go find your happy place. You know - that stroll down the street - the one you love best - and go there. The quilt shop, the hike, the place that helps you be well you. Hang on to it for as long as you can. But not long enough to be afraid that there isn't another happy place to discover. Shhhh..... There might be more than one.
I'm envisioning a group of condos I'm going to own and manage one day. I'm calling my company "Happy Place". Come find it - it will be on VRBO. While this might not be YOUR Happy Place. It's mine. Go find yours too. Only don't get to hung up on the way you "think" your happy place should look. Never in a million years, could I have created this in my mind. It was larger than that. I wasn't capable of thinking I could create THIS happy place. I'm also sure I can't even imagine the vision of my "next" happy place. I am just here to enjoy this one.
PS. My imaginary dog's named Mango.
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