Thursday, July 11, 2013

Being the Bigger Person

It's hard to be the bigger person.  Not give into pettiness.  I believe it's a daily challenge for most people NOT to play the game.

What is easy?  To fight fire with fire.  I'm good at winning things.  Only most of the time, you realize if you have to fight for something, it's really not fighting for.  Standing up for what you believe in, is worth fighting it.

SO, we have an ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend whom just cringes when I walk up.  Rightly so, I think I would cringe as well if I had to see a boyfriends ex-girlfriend every day.  Wait, scratch that.  I wouldn't cringe.  After all, if I'm the one with the boyfriend, why would an EX girlfriend of MY boyfriend cause me any concern?  I'm living with him after all.

If I were insecure and immature, maybe.  As mentioned previously, the teenagers around here are acting more mature than some adults.

Aren't we all a bit insecure?  Of course we are.  Everyone has different levels of insecurity -

Maybe it's:
  •  trying something new
  • calling someone for the first time
  • asking a stranger directions
  • Admitting you miss someone
  • Making a right turn, instead of a left, because you've always made a left.
  • leaving the house some days
  • leaving the house without your car
  • trusting yourself - as you know you have failed yourself before.
The list could go on and on.  On and on for different people and different things.

But from someone on the OUTSIDE of your problems, it would be easy for me to tell you what to do.

(Don't you hate it when people do that???)  You know, tell you the way you SHOULD behave and the way you SHOULD act.

I think that is the problem.  We listen to other people.  Instead of acting with kindness and realizing even if they did hurt us, that's the past, and there is nothing we can do about it now.

Most of the time, other people don't really disappoint us, it's OUR expectation of others that disappoints us.  Yes, sometimes people do disappoint.  They tell you they will do something and they don't do it.  That is disappointing. 

A dear friend of mine didn't come to my grandfathers funeral.  He told me he would.  It still hurts me that he didn't show up.  He lived in the same town.  He disappointed me. 

I keep trying to be the bigger person and let it go, but I can't.  He knows it too.  We don't need to talk about it.  But an apology sure would be nice.  But that's MY expectation on the friendship situation.  Not his.

Isn't that funny?  Or is it just me?  A simple apology is all I want.  I'll either get the apology one day, or it will fade into the background of our friendship.  I'm sure he thinks I owe him an apology for something else.

But tomorrow, I can't apologize to anyone for being the ex-girlfriend.  Or apologize for being the mom of the boys whom the teenage girl loves.  I can be kind - even if it is not returned. 

I can be the bigger person.

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