How many summers are you going to do this?
I've been asked this question before. And by this, they mean swap my house in Denver for the house in Kona.
The same answer has always been my reply: "For as long as I can". Meaning for as many summers as they want to switch. Each summer becomes a bit longer of a trade. It would even be okay if the trades became a little shorter, as long as we get to come over.
Two days ago though I was asked this question again. "How many summers are you going to do this?" This was asked by one of the local girls whom is friends with Lily. The one whom has had some problems. I had her at the house with just me the other day. A few hours of me working, her working on a puzzle. The other kids were off with Lily's dad running.
I realized though most of her problems are not her fault. It's not her fault she hasn't been raised well. She doesn't have good role models. That's not her fault. I think she is finally realizing it though. She is now becoming aware of what she doesn't have.
The other night at dinner, I told her to do a couple of things.(put your knee down at the table, and no I won't braid your hair at a restaurant). She helped me pack the cooler and make lunches.
And today, while she was off with Lily at the beach, she wanted to know why they weren't seeing me. Not the boys, but me. I guess it's true, children do crave discipline.
She has matured. I'm still unsure my level of trust with her, as she has tended to lie about things. The lies were little and stupid and last summer. So far this summer, she's been honest with me. And I now realize others lie to her, so she has learned this is normal behavior.
While people may have misbehaved in the past, people do learn to do things better. I also know how to forgive.
She's the one whom asked me last "How many summers do you plan to do this?" A different answer was uttered, I answered "One". She looks at me funny and says "Huh?". "I only planned to do this one summer. I didn't know my whole life was going to change and this was my new old way of life."
She replies, "You have to keep coming back. You are my "white summer mom", and us kids are supposed to grow up together".
I think she is maturing. I think Lily's friend will be okay. I think the kids (I guess I have four now) are already growing up together.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Paddling
Rowing and Paddling are two different things.
First, paddling is not hitting. When I hear the word "paddle", I used to think, of a child being punished. "If you don't behave, you are going to get a paddling". Of course, now, the adult would go to jail for "paddling a child".
Rowing is a different instrument. Also, a different type of stroke. By stroke, I mean what you do with the instrument in your hand.
Yes, it is a paddle - there are different types of paddles. Steering or stroking. Wood or fiberglass. T-grip or palm. Different lengths too.
You want to sit in a chair, reach your arm straight up in the air, put your hand around the top (t-grip or palm) and have the shaft sitting on your knee. Then your paddle is the correct length.
If you are in a double canoe - there are 12 people. A single canoe - 6 people. You stroke 14 times on one side. Someone is a "caller" they count the strokes. On the 13th stroke, the caller says "Hut". The entire crew replies "HO" at the start of the next stroke, then you change sides. The stroking on the other side of the canoe.
There is a "stroker" This is the person whom everyone else follows. The person that sits in the first seat on the boat. Everyone "enters" the water with their paddle at the same time. Everyone stroking at the same time.
There are different "drills" you can do. For example, the person whom is steering, may say "Ok, on the next switch, give the first 5 strokes 100%, then 80% for the rest. Do this for two sets." Meaning, stroke as hard as you can for the first five times (not faster, but more strength), then 80%, then switch sides and do it again." Then on each side one more time.
We go to the "recreational" paddling group. Which means we paddle for 1.5 miles (20 or so minutes), then hang out and swim for a bit, then paddle back.
I've "paddled". I've called. I've even stroked.
I'm the youngest one there most of the time. There are first timers, there are those whom have been paddling for years. There were a group of tourist hotties there a few weeks ago. A cute guy my age was there the other day too (I'm hoping he is back tomorrow!)
Then of course, there is my entourage. For two weeks, the boys didn't go. There was life guarding. Their days were pretty full. I either went by myself or with Mary down the street. Now, well there is me. My neighbor Mary (whom is in her late 50's) is gone to the mainland for a month - her cousin, Donna, is staying at her house. Donna had a daughter and son-in-law here (they came with us on Tuesday). But Thursday, I have me, my 70 year old neighbor's cousin and 3 teenagers.
Are we going paddling? This is our conversation everyday. I will pick up Donna - she offered to drive, but well, we have to go get the girl. She said she would drive.
So tomorrow, I will drive. Leave the house at 5:45am Pick up my neighbors cousin (at 6). Pick up my summer daughter (at 6:10) then go paddle. Me and my entourage.
Not sure when you had people begging you to pick them up at 6 am, but I have a group of them. My tribe may not look the way I thought it would, but we are one loyal tribe. Following each other one paddle at a time.
First, paddling is not hitting. When I hear the word "paddle", I used to think, of a child being punished. "If you don't behave, you are going to get a paddling". Of course, now, the adult would go to jail for "paddling a child".
Rowing is a different instrument. Also, a different type of stroke. By stroke, I mean what you do with the instrument in your hand.
Yes, it is a paddle - there are different types of paddles. Steering or stroking. Wood or fiberglass. T-grip or palm. Different lengths too.
You want to sit in a chair, reach your arm straight up in the air, put your hand around the top (t-grip or palm) and have the shaft sitting on your knee. Then your paddle is the correct length.
If you are in a double canoe - there are 12 people. A single canoe - 6 people. You stroke 14 times on one side. Someone is a "caller" they count the strokes. On the 13th stroke, the caller says "Hut". The entire crew replies "HO" at the start of the next stroke, then you change sides. The stroking on the other side of the canoe.
There is a "stroker" This is the person whom everyone else follows. The person that sits in the first seat on the boat. Everyone "enters" the water with their paddle at the same time. Everyone stroking at the same time.
There are different "drills" you can do. For example, the person whom is steering, may say "Ok, on the next switch, give the first 5 strokes 100%, then 80% for the rest. Do this for two sets." Meaning, stroke as hard as you can for the first five times (not faster, but more strength), then 80%, then switch sides and do it again." Then on each side one more time.
We go to the "recreational" paddling group. Which means we paddle for 1.5 miles (20 or so minutes), then hang out and swim for a bit, then paddle back.
I've "paddled". I've called. I've even stroked.
I'm the youngest one there most of the time. There are first timers, there are those whom have been paddling for years. There were a group of tourist hotties there a few weeks ago. A cute guy my age was there the other day too (I'm hoping he is back tomorrow!)
Then of course, there is my entourage. For two weeks, the boys didn't go. There was life guarding. Their days were pretty full. I either went by myself or with Mary down the street. Now, well there is me. My neighbor Mary (whom is in her late 50's) is gone to the mainland for a month - her cousin, Donna, is staying at her house. Donna had a daughter and son-in-law here (they came with us on Tuesday). But Thursday, I have me, my 70 year old neighbor's cousin and 3 teenagers.
Are we going paddling? This is our conversation everyday. I will pick up Donna - she offered to drive, but well, we have to go get the girl. She said she would drive.
So tomorrow, I will drive. Leave the house at 5:45am Pick up my neighbors cousin (at 6). Pick up my summer daughter (at 6:10) then go paddle. Me and my entourage.
Not sure when you had people begging you to pick them up at 6 am, but I have a group of them. My tribe may not look the way I thought it would, but we are one loyal tribe. Following each other one paddle at a time.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Only
We ONLY have 12 days left.
When did 12 days in Hawaii become ONLY? We've all started to experience a bit of sadness. ONLY, I think it's ridiculous that we have 12 incredible, wonderful FULL days left in paradise, and we are all starting to get a bit sad.
Two years ago, the boys had 14 days here - TOTAL. And now, basically, that same amount of time, is well, ONLY.
I was going to ramble on here a bit. Make some comparisons, give other examples. But I can't.
I have to run. I ONLY have 10 days left now. I'll write more later. In the short time I have left on this island, I have to go swim, paddle, breathe.
I have to go be thankful I GET 10 more days. Feel it in my whole body and soul. If I could only truly hold on to this feeling I have for this place. Then I would be ONLY too lucky.
When did 12 days in Hawaii become ONLY? We've all started to experience a bit of sadness. ONLY, I think it's ridiculous that we have 12 incredible, wonderful FULL days left in paradise, and we are all starting to get a bit sad.
Two years ago, the boys had 14 days here - TOTAL. And now, basically, that same amount of time, is well, ONLY.
I was going to ramble on here a bit. Make some comparisons, give other examples. But I can't.
I have to run. I ONLY have 10 days left now. I'll write more later. In the short time I have left on this island, I have to go swim, paddle, breathe.
I have to go be thankful I GET 10 more days. Feel it in my whole body and soul. If I could only truly hold on to this feeling I have for this place. Then I would be ONLY too lucky.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
The Decline of a Civilization
Week one on the island: I was a tourist with my Granny, so tourist life and rules applied. We did tourist things. We had a bit of a schedule. We went out to eat quite a bit. I went grocery shopping before she arrived so we had food ready. It was a tourist vacation. It was wonderful.
Week Two: Nolan arrives. Then Lily arrives. We have a few things scheduled. I had gone to the store before they arrived. Eggs and Bagels and Portuguese Sausage and some fresh fruit for breakfast every day. The "Dry Bag" is packed every day when we go to the beach. Fresh clothes to put on at the end of the day. Dry towels. The cooler is packed with homemade trail mix, sandwiches, plenty of water (bottle that have been filled the night before and frozen) and fresh fruit. There are clean beach towels in the car.
Week Three: Duncan arrives. Life-guarding starts. Back packs are packed the night before. Running shoes, goggles, towels, a snack. Grab a frozen water bottle in the morning. Grab a bagel and cream cheese and head out. I will go to the grocery store while they are at life guarding, the food supply is getting a little low. I pack up the cooler while they are at Life Guarding. The dry bag is good to go. We hang at the beach after.
Week Four: No new arrivals. We still have life guarding. Dry clothes and towels are grabbed on the way out the door. Fill a water bottle before we leave. Please eat something and grab a snack. The cooler is still being packed by mom while they are at training.
Week Five: Life guarding is over. Sandy damp towels are grabbed on the way to the car. The cooler has warm water bottles (ALWAYS have water), some ice, lunch meat, bread and chips have been thrown in - all in their original packaging. Please wear something over your swim suit - as we don't know where the "dry bag is". There is no food in the house, we are now staying at the beach past sunset. Fresh lasagna from a road side stand and dinner out the last two nights. Let's see I have on a summer dress. Duncan appears to have a shirt on, a swimsuit and no shoes, Lily's clothes were wet and left at the house, she has one of my summer dresses on - it had been left in the car, Nolan has a sweatshirt on, as it was left in the car from a few days ago and his swimsuit - we went out to eat.
We have a few more days left in week 5. There is no longer a routine or a schedule. There are no dry clothes or towels. And I guess, I should really go to the store.
There is water, pure joy, happiness and silliness
Week 6: I'm hoping we remember to come back to the house to sleep.
So as this group "slowly declines" in the order of the world and joins the ranks of chaos, we celebrate our happiness.
Week Two: Nolan arrives. Then Lily arrives. We have a few things scheduled. I had gone to the store before they arrived. Eggs and Bagels and Portuguese Sausage and some fresh fruit for breakfast every day. The "Dry Bag" is packed every day when we go to the beach. Fresh clothes to put on at the end of the day. Dry towels. The cooler is packed with homemade trail mix, sandwiches, plenty of water (bottle that have been filled the night before and frozen) and fresh fruit. There are clean beach towels in the car.
Week Three: Duncan arrives. Life-guarding starts. Back packs are packed the night before. Running shoes, goggles, towels, a snack. Grab a frozen water bottle in the morning. Grab a bagel and cream cheese and head out. I will go to the grocery store while they are at life guarding, the food supply is getting a little low. I pack up the cooler while they are at Life Guarding. The dry bag is good to go. We hang at the beach after.
Week Four: No new arrivals. We still have life guarding. Dry clothes and towels are grabbed on the way out the door. Fill a water bottle before we leave. Please eat something and grab a snack. The cooler is still being packed by mom while they are at training.
Week Five: Life guarding is over. Sandy damp towels are grabbed on the way to the car. The cooler has warm water bottles (ALWAYS have water), some ice, lunch meat, bread and chips have been thrown in - all in their original packaging. Please wear something over your swim suit - as we don't know where the "dry bag is". There is no food in the house, we are now staying at the beach past sunset. Fresh lasagna from a road side stand and dinner out the last two nights. Let's see I have on a summer dress. Duncan appears to have a shirt on, a swimsuit and no shoes, Lily's clothes were wet and left at the house, she has one of my summer dresses on - it had been left in the car, Nolan has a sweatshirt on, as it was left in the car from a few days ago and his swimsuit - we went out to eat.
We have a few more days left in week 5. There is no longer a routine or a schedule. There are no dry clothes or towels. And I guess, I should really go to the store.
There is water, pure joy, happiness and silliness
Week 6: I'm hoping we remember to come back to the house to sleep.
So as this group "slowly declines" in the order of the world and joins the ranks of chaos, we celebrate our happiness.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Peace
For the next TWO weeks, there is NOTHING on the schedule. And by NOTHING, I mean NOTHING. We don't have to be any where. We don't have to do anything. We are free to play. Ahhhh.......
I wonder what this is going to be like? I don't know how to be unscheduled. Or not make a list. Or not plan some activity or event.
Life guarding is over. The boys did not qualify to go to the state competition. Both are a little bummed as it would have been a free trip to Maui. But that also means they don't have to spend this week training.
Paddling is still on the schedule, but that is voluntary, and I GET to paddle. I don't HAVE to paddle.
Yesterday we competed in a biathlon. I swam and ran. The boys both ran. Lily swam. Lily and I won t-shirts at the raffle. No lamp this year.
After the biathlon, I brought the kids back to the house. An additional girl came too. She lives here full time. She's a bit of a challenging girl, but has actually matured a little bit. She still is way too interested in babies and doesn't seem to think drugs are as bad as we all think they are, but there might be some hope for her yet. She loved all the puzzle games the house holds.
We cooked pancakes on the Lanai (on a griddle), bacon and eggs too. We later all cooked home-made macaroni and cheese. (Not sure how much home-made cooking the girls actually get here on the island). We worked on a puzzle. The kids sat in the hot tub. Then teenagers just hung out on the back Lanai, with music playing and silly conversations. It was relaxing.
We were going to go back to town around 1. I think we finally made it into town around 4:30. No one wanted to leave. It was peaceful. We were all happy.
When we finally did leave the house, it took us at least 30 minutes to get moving and get in the car. How nice.
So for the next two weeks - that is exactly how this house is living. Puzzles, games, swimming, cooking, paddling and a couple of planned hikes.
Peace.
I wonder what this is going to be like? I don't know how to be unscheduled. Or not make a list. Or not plan some activity or event.
Life guarding is over. The boys did not qualify to go to the state competition. Both are a little bummed as it would have been a free trip to Maui. But that also means they don't have to spend this week training.
Paddling is still on the schedule, but that is voluntary, and I GET to paddle. I don't HAVE to paddle.
Yesterday we competed in a biathlon. I swam and ran. The boys both ran. Lily swam. Lily and I won t-shirts at the raffle. No lamp this year.
After the biathlon, I brought the kids back to the house. An additional girl came too. She lives here full time. She's a bit of a challenging girl, but has actually matured a little bit. She still is way too interested in babies and doesn't seem to think drugs are as bad as we all think they are, but there might be some hope for her yet. She loved all the puzzle games the house holds.
We cooked pancakes on the Lanai (on a griddle), bacon and eggs too. We later all cooked home-made macaroni and cheese. (Not sure how much home-made cooking the girls actually get here on the island). We worked on a puzzle. The kids sat in the hot tub. Then teenagers just hung out on the back Lanai, with music playing and silly conversations. It was relaxing.
We were going to go back to town around 1. I think we finally made it into town around 4:30. No one wanted to leave. It was peaceful. We were all happy.
When we finally did leave the house, it took us at least 30 minutes to get moving and get in the car. How nice.
So for the next two weeks - that is exactly how this house is living. Puzzles, games, swimming, cooking, paddling and a couple of planned hikes.
Peace.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Missing
I finally now know a disadvantage to Hawaii - it's really far away from anything. Normally, I would think that is good thing. I'm good at wanting to escape. Get away from it all. Yesterday I was able to realize it's not always a good thing.
My best friend's mom died yesterday morning. I'm a long way from Houston right now. I'm a long way from my best friend. She understands. Of course she would. I may send a proxy - a close girlfriend lives in Houston, I may see if she can go stand next to Carolyn for me. Or just be there. Carolyn will be fine. It will be a hard week, but she is strong, she can handle this. I know she can, because let me tell you about her mom.
I met "Mom Frusco" my junior year in college. I showed up over Christmas break at their house. I was raised in a WASPy family. Always loved, but family dinners never involved alcohol or singing. When Uncle Larry broke out into song, I'm not sure I knew what do. She knew I would be fine, I probably just joined in.
I was immediately welcomed in, and later was told I could stay. So, I stayed.
She taught me to love Pasta Fagioli. Although, for years, she said I wouldn't be able to cook it, because it would "take hours and hours". I did finally get the recipe. It doesn't taste as good as hers, but I always knew it never would. Carolyn and I would wake up in the middle of night and go to raid the kitchen - we ate plenty of Pasta Figioli in the middle of the night.
She was always there to listen. Give advice. (We now refer to that advice as WWFD - What Would Fran Do). It was fun to help her in the kitchen. Or just hang out on the bar stools with. Or watch movies in the TV room - as we would sometimes have movie marathons and she would join us to laugh and cry. Maybe that's why I like to join the kids when they are all hanging out. Or talk about books. She loved to read.
Things I remember, that won't make any sense to anyone but Carolyn:
She was at my college graduation. My wedding. I think she actually knew before anyone I was pregnant with Duncan - she and Dad Frusco were in California visiting and we were all out to dinner. I didn't like my wine. I didn't figure it out, but I think she did. She was on the phone with me at the hospital when I was in labor with Duncan, as Carolyn was in Mexico. The first flowers to arrive at the hospital were from her.
She had a stroke 15 years ago. And while, she was still "Mom Frusco" she became a different "Mom Frusco".
Twenty-five years is a long time to know someone. I could go on and on with stories.
They told us she went in her sleep. We'd like to think she went telling someone what to do and God finally said, "That's enough Frances, come home".
I'm missing the services. I'm missing being there for her daughter. And I will always miss her.
Rest in Peace Mom.
My best friend's mom died yesterday morning. I'm a long way from Houston right now. I'm a long way from my best friend. She understands. Of course she would. I may send a proxy - a close girlfriend lives in Houston, I may see if she can go stand next to Carolyn for me. Or just be there. Carolyn will be fine. It will be a hard week, but she is strong, she can handle this. I know she can, because let me tell you about her mom.
I met "Mom Frusco" my junior year in college. I showed up over Christmas break at their house. I was raised in a WASPy family. Always loved, but family dinners never involved alcohol or singing. When Uncle Larry broke out into song, I'm not sure I knew what do. She knew I would be fine, I probably just joined in.
I was immediately welcomed in, and later was told I could stay. So, I stayed.
She taught me to love Pasta Fagioli. Although, for years, she said I wouldn't be able to cook it, because it would "take hours and hours". I did finally get the recipe. It doesn't taste as good as hers, but I always knew it never would. Carolyn and I would wake up in the middle of night and go to raid the kitchen - we ate plenty of Pasta Figioli in the middle of the night.
She was always there to listen. Give advice. (We now refer to that advice as WWFD - What Would Fran Do). It was fun to help her in the kitchen. Or just hang out on the bar stools with. Or watch movies in the TV room - as we would sometimes have movie marathons and she would join us to laugh and cry. Maybe that's why I like to join the kids when they are all hanging out. Or talk about books. She loved to read.
Things I remember, that won't make any sense to anyone but Carolyn:
- Sometimes you need to just get in the closet
- Find yourself a "nerd" (and this could be a dork, but I'm thinking it was a nerd) They rule the world.
- Writing "hi mom" on the memo section of the checks Carolyn would write as she would balance her account.
- I think you two were a little "tipsy" - okay, tipsy is not the word she used. I will think of it in the middle of the night.
- "A pitcher" is the usual???"
- Coming to see us at college
- Easter baskets - where you don't use a basket. You use shorts, or something else. A tradition I carried on with my sons.
- Hearing stories of her teen years. While driving barefoot and using her forged birth certificate as a fake id on the Jersey Shore.
- Shopping at Sam's club for "spring break supplies" or for the New Year's Eve parties we through at the house.
- Laying on the bed and telling her our grand idea of Carolyn having the girls, me having the boys and deciding that one of them could marry the other. Her replying "And that would be the end of a beautiful friendship". (ironically, Carolyn has the girls, I have the boys)
- Teaching us that the song "YMCA" actually has a movie!
- Her singing "Achy Breaky Heart" on the karaoke machine when we had a pool party after college.
- Her losing weight and us all sharing clothes for a time.
- Love her referring to changing her hair color as "Visine ing" her hair - as in "getting the red out".
- She was the expert "tooth puller" and Duncan remembers her pulling one of his teeth
She was at my college graduation. My wedding. I think she actually knew before anyone I was pregnant with Duncan - she and Dad Frusco were in California visiting and we were all out to dinner. I didn't like my wine. I didn't figure it out, but I think she did. She was on the phone with me at the hospital when I was in labor with Duncan, as Carolyn was in Mexico. The first flowers to arrive at the hospital were from her.
She had a stroke 15 years ago. And while, she was still "Mom Frusco" she became a different "Mom Frusco".
Twenty-five years is a long time to know someone. I could go on and on with stories.
They told us she went in her sleep. We'd like to think she went telling someone what to do and God finally said, "That's enough Frances, come home".
I'm missing the services. I'm missing being there for her daughter. And I will always miss her.
Rest in Peace Mom.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
How did we get here?
I've been here a month already. From date to date - exactly a month. From the calendar, I've been here for 4 weeks and two days.
How the heck did that happen? No wonder I woke up one day in Colorado and realized I've been living there 21 years. I woke up today, and it's been three summers in Kona.
I asked the boys if they were ready to go back. This time last year, this was our last full day. The lifeguard competition was today, and we left the next night.
The first summer was filled with adventure and wonder. What will happen? There is so much we want to do.
The second summer was filled with a routine and bit of unwanted drama. But still the adventure of what will happen and what can we do.
This summer? We've settled into our life here on the island. We have routines. Habits. Friends. We are doing things we have done before. But also new things.
Why is it in our own town, we stop exploring the new things? I KNOW I haven't done everything there is to do in Colorado, much less Denver. Our town becomes HERE, rather than THERE. We feel we must go THERE, to try something new. When there are plenty of adventures to be had in our own backyard.
Well, we are now HERE doing old things. Still trying new things. Not sure when THERE became HERE.
How the heck did that happen? No wonder I woke up one day in Colorado and realized I've been living there 21 years. I woke up today, and it's been three summers in Kona.
I asked the boys if they were ready to go back. This time last year, this was our last full day. The lifeguard competition was today, and we left the next night.
The first summer was filled with adventure and wonder. What will happen? There is so much we want to do.
The second summer was filled with a routine and bit of unwanted drama. But still the adventure of what will happen and what can we do.
This summer? We've settled into our life here on the island. We have routines. Habits. Friends. We are doing things we have done before. But also new things.
Why is it in our own town, we stop exploring the new things? I KNOW I haven't done everything there is to do in Colorado, much less Denver. Our town becomes HERE, rather than THERE. We feel we must go THERE, to try something new. When there are plenty of adventures to be had in our own backyard.
Well, we are now HERE doing old things. Still trying new things. Not sure when THERE became HERE.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)