Sunday, July 28, 2013

How many summers?

How many summers are you going to do this?

I've been asked this question before.  And by this, they mean swap my house in Denver for the house in Kona.

The same answer has always been my reply:  "For as long as I can".  Meaning for as many summers as they want to switch.  Each summer becomes a bit longer of a trade.  It would even be okay if the trades became a little shorter, as long as we get to come over.

Two days ago though I was asked this question again.  "How many summers are you going to do this?"  This was asked by one of the local girls whom is friends with Lily.  The one whom has had some problems.  I had her at the house with just me the other day.  A few hours of me working, her working on a puzzle.  The other kids were off with Lily's dad running.

I realized though most of her problems are not her fault.  It's not her fault she hasn't been raised well.  She doesn't have good role models.  That's not her fault.  I think she is finally realizing it though.  She is now becoming aware of what she doesn't have.

The other night at dinner, I told her to do a couple of things.(put your knee down at the table, and no I won't braid your hair at a restaurant).  She helped me pack the cooler and make lunches.

And today, while she was off with Lily at the beach, she wanted to know why they weren't seeing me.  Not the boys, but me.  I guess it's true, children do crave discipline.

She has matured.  I'm still unsure my level of trust with her, as she has tended to lie about things.  The lies were little and stupid and last summer.  So far this summer, she's been honest with me.  And I now realize others lie to her, so she has learned this is normal behavior.

While people may have misbehaved in the past, people do learn to do things better.  I also know how to forgive.

She's the one whom asked me last "How many summers do you plan to do this?" A different answer was uttered,  I answered "One".   She looks at me funny and says "Huh?".  "I only planned to do this one summer.  I didn't know my whole life was going to change and this was my new old way of life." 

She replies, "You have to keep coming back.  You are my "white summer mom", and us kids are supposed to grow up together".

I think she is maturing.  I think Lily's friend will be okay.  I think the kids (I guess I have four now) are already growing up together. 

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