Expiration Dates and Tattoo's

These words are mutually exclusive. 

The really funny thing:  I had to look up how to spell both the words.  I'm not good with either one.  Expiration Dates nor Tattoos.  Both link to my commitment issues.

In my mind - everything expires.  Even tattoos.

Let's start with expiration dates:

Milk (I don't drink - I don't drink coffee either, but I really like latte's (makes no sense to me either)).  Yogurt.  Cheese.  Eggs.  You can buy these things and they are still good LONG after their "expiration date".  Are expiration dates arbitrary? Is it a date the government (or whatever regulating agency) decides it will no longer protect you?

Think about medicine.  Medicine doesn't expire FOREVER.  Neither do condoms?  Do these things quit working or is that just the moment that the person whom was in charge is no longer responsible for what they said?  I kinda like that theory.

Today - I can say this:  "whatever that may be" and on July 1, 2013 - that thought expires.  WHATEVER that thought might have been. You can hold me responsible for that thought until a certain date.  Maybe we can say something and put on it a disclaimer?  I'm saying this - and this thought expires on such and such date.  Or maybe, it expires tomorrow.  Or yesterday......

Let's take a vote.  If you will allow someone else to "recall their vote" on their thought from yesterday - you can have two recall's.  Fair Deal.  (oh, by the way, this idea expires tomorrow).  ;-)

Both my drivers license and passport expire in June.  This makes me VERY nervous.  I don't say NEVER.  EVER.  NEVER makes you eat those words.  ALWAYS.

I can tell you, I have NEVER had a drivers license expire.  EVER.  And this one???? Its still has my old address on it.  I moved into this house 9 years ago.  I have NEVER had a passport expire.   EVER.   They won't let you leave the country within 6 months of expiration. This will be my third passport.

For years, I've put off getting a new drivers license.  I've put off changing the address.  ALWAYS.  Within a year, I change addresses.  ALWAYS. This time it scares me though.

My friends all say - this time it will be different.  Even though I've lived in the same house for 9 years.  They promise me.... this will be different.   I'm going to hold strong - I'm not moving. The boys have attended the same school for the last 9 years.  It's the longest I've EVER done anything.   Duncan goes to high school - time's are a changing. I pay the mortgage - here..  I LIVE here - my sons live here and so do their friends.  So do people whom needed to come find themselves.  I've just never committed to this house. Well, obviously, I'm committed (another word I had to look up!!), just can't let the rest of the world know I admit it.

My last house?????  I got the drivers license ---- and moved a year later. I was at the last house with the passport too.

Nolan goes to college in 5 years.  I have 5 years.  I have to change my drivers license by next June.  My passport by January.  In other words, I expire in 2 years - with a 6.4 month deadline.  This time, I'm fighting it. I'm here for 5 years.  Help me hang on...

It's impossible said PRIDE

It's risky, said EXPERIENCE

It's pointless said REASON

"Give it a try" - whispered the heart....

I'll have to tell you about the tattoo's later.....

The land of misfit toys

Ever wanted to be with the "in" group.  You know.  The group that in some fashion makes you feel inadequate about yourself.

Maybe it's human nature.  We all want to belong.  Belong to the group that everyone "likes"  With the "right" group of people.  Only, as we get older - we realize those people aren't any happier than us - it just "appears" that way.  "THEY" look like they have it so EASY.  SO WONDERFUL.  SO MUCH BETTER - than us.  Age happens.  We know.  They don't have it any better than us - it only SEEMS that way.  We actually then know, they might be LESS HAPPY than us.  They are just pretending. 

We have a couple of choices:

Join them.

Be something we aren't.  Or maybe we are.  We can belong to "that" group.  Be something we aren't.  Follow along.

OR

Join the group - or the non-group - of where we don't/do belong..  You know that group.  The group of "rare birds"  - those whom collect other "rare birds".  Those whom understand I may not talk to you for years.  And yes, you may send my best friend a wedding present, because you noticed her update on my "faceook page".  The "I might not call you for a year", but call me, on the side of the road in Chicago, and I won't ask questions.  I'll just come get you.  Because, you get me.

I've fought it my WHOLE life.

Yes, I look the part.  The part of "them".  You know.  I did too.  And I SOOOOOO wanted to be one of them.  And I still look like "them". If you don't know me - you think I belong to 'them".  BUT YOU.  YOU know........

It's the middle of the night - and you are broken down on the side of the road.  In Chicago. You know.  I'll come get you.  MAYBE, you always knew, there was someone to come get you.  You just had to let go......

If you ever watch "Rudolph, The Red Nose Reindeer", the ones that don't "fit" perfectly are sent to their own island.  They do okay.  They band together and believe in each other.



Be comfortable enough to grab another misfit toy.   Take them with you - or let them take you.....

Maybe it's the living on the island???  

Alarm Clock - Part II

When I last left you, it was all about time. 

Waiting.  Settings.  Running on a schedule that doesn't belong to us. 

School begins next week for the boys.  Cross country begins and hockey try-outs start at the end of the week.  We are back to our color coded calendar of events.  Routes.  Bus schedules.  Carpools. 

Everything running "on time".  Scheduled.  Organized. 

It's all good.  This is how 90% of the world functions.  Some of those in the 10% live in a mud hut in Africa.  No need for that extreme......  We can function within this reality. 

BUT, to follow up from the alarm clock in the hall.......

First thing the next morning:  Duncan, please put the alarm clock in the Goodwill pile in the garage. (On a side note here - I'm not a "stuff" person - we stop by Goodwill on a weekly basis to drop things off. The rule around here:  if you don't like it, aren't using it and don't want it any more:  it goes in the Goodwill pile).  Of course, someone else can take what you wanted to "discard" out of the pile.  No, there is no "garage sale" pile.)   If it's something of real "value", we MIGHT list it on Craigslist. 

Alarm clock is the Goodwill pile in the garage.  Last I know.  Some time last week, I was told I had to "come outside, quick!"  (NEVER, a good thing)  I've learned. 

Two boys (yes, both mine) with hammers.  Shattering the "horrible" alarm clock.  I just shook my head and smiled.  Nolan lectured, "someone could have bought a good alarm clock at a good price".  Duncan proclaimed, "we aren't passing this alarm clock forward!"  Needless to say, it was already destroyed when I got there. 

When the electricity goes out in the house, the alarm clocks in the boys bedrooms blink.  (well, at least they both did - now the clock in Nolan's room blinks). 

We have destroyed the "evil" clock.  Nolan's clock has been blinking since we got back from Hawaii - 27 days ago.... (not that I'm counting)

Hope we make it to school on time Monday. 

Today

Today.  Just today.  This is my day:

I'm going to wake up.  Excited to see what is going to happen.

Work.  You know, that thing that pays the bills.  Have a job. Well, I don't really have a job. I have to make money in order to support myself and my boys. The one whom pulls it off.   I'm very lucky.  I've created my own luck.

But, today, I'm going to create my life.

You know, the one that we always wanted.  The life we think everyone else is living.  It's better than ours, right?

Today.  Well, today, is the day....

Today, I'm going to get up and work.  I'm going to work out.  Or ride my bike.  If it's hockey season, I'm going to take my sons to hockey. Come home cook dinner, watch a TV show. Help the boys with their homework. Do some laundry. The house will cleaned up.

OH.......what did you say?????  There is a party in Vail?  I'm going. A party down the street - and you want the boys to come hang out with their friends?  There is a bike ride around the corner?  The potluck around the corner?

You have free tickets to an outdoor concert?  Oh, by the way, no I don't mind if the pre-party is at my house?.......Yes, you can bring a friend.  And they can bring a friend too.

Want to get your nails done? Have you bought your ski pass yet?  What do you want me to do?  Where do you want me to show up????

Today.  WAIT!!!!!

I keep "tri-ing"; I tri and tri again to make my life mold into something that doesn't work for me.  Yet, I still fight it.

90% - acceptance rate.  That's where I'm at.  Pretty darn good.

I'm limiting myself to 21 days in August. Fifteen and a half days scattered during the year.  Those are the days weeks every year I can pretend I live like society tells us.  10% of the time.

The other 90% - I'm accepting that this is how my TODAY looks:

My sons
Do what I can to make my life better by spending the time helping the organizations my children are involved in.
Work (3 hours per day)

Work-out
See/visit/talk to family/friends - have lunch, go the movies, network, enjoy my life.

Play - bike ride,ski, surf, run, sit on the couch and watch a movie, holding my breath, attending my Hula Hoop class


The 10% of my life??????   Day in Day out

Kids
Work  (6 hours per day)

Hockey/sports/organizational things for other people

36.5 days.  I can do the 10% if I can do the other 90%.

Today, I"m playing a grown up, in a real life, created by me.  Today.  Only 35.5 more days to go.....

Alarm Clocks

I don't have a clock in my room.

In fact, I only have one "clock" in my house.  It's one of those "trendy" "have to have" clocks.  I LOVE the clock in my living room.  It's not a "watch" - it's something that tells time.

Did you know people don't wear watches anymore?  There was an article in some magazine, somewhere that said if you wear a watch, it actually makes you "look older".  Unless, of course, you are a male.  Male's wear watches.

It's their jewelry.

How do you manage without a watch or a clock?  It's funny, I'm NEVER late.  EVER.  (and I actually get annoyed with people whom are late).  There is TIME every where.  On your phone.  People telling you - you have to be some place and you "only have 10 minutes to get there".  The world is organizing you.

Just like those people whom say "I don't need anything else to survive - I live off the land".  Yes, you live off the land because others help you......

It's a group effort around here.

About 6th grade, the boys middle school teachers said to quit waking your child up, let them get up on their own.  I added, you have to wake me up too.  ;-)

We live in a corner house.  I sleep with the windows open year around.  Fresh air.  Always.  The traffic patterns change around 6 am.  ALWAYS.  Your sleep patterns change with the traffic patterns.  I wake up.  I can tell by the light if I can go to sleep or not.  I haven't set an alarm in 15 years.  Unless, of course, if I have a plane to catch.  I'm awake before the alarm goes off.  ALWAYS.  We just need a back-up at times.

Hawaii, I woke up when the roosters told us to wake up. The really funny thing, the room I stayed in didn't have a clock either. There was no timer in the kitchen.  I THINK there was a wall clock in the living room, but after I turned off my computer each day - it didn't really matter.   There is time all around us - we just need to listen.

I moved out of the "married" house in January 2002.  I had a great watch my kids dad gave me.  Suddenly, I couldn't find it.  I thought I had lost it.  In fact, I had lost it. I did find it again - in my gym bag, in a pocket, when I no longer needed it.

When I got divorced, I bought this cheap clock at Target that annoyed me.  Hit the sleep button wrong - and it would play for an hour.  Unless of course you hit the fast forward button at the same moment you are hitting the snooze button....AND THEN, you stop before, blah blah blah.... It makes life hectic.  I made it work.

The clock has been in Duncan's room since 6th grade.  Last night - he had it!!  I thought the house was on fire.  He explodes into the family room talking about how bad the clock is.  The sleep button does NOT work and all the music is Country & Western AND heaven, forbid, you can't hook an IPOD into it.... "MOM, can I get RID of this clock???""

YES, you can.

Just remember, this is a 14 year old male we are dealing with.  When I go to go to bed:  the alarm clock is in the hallway.  I stubbed my toe.  See why I don't like clocks?

Duncan received the alarm clock in 6th grade.  His teachers thought it was time.... ;-)

The Perfect Ending

Waves

Water always makes everything better.  Get in the water.  Cleanse your soul.  Wash all the dirt away.  All types of stuff.

Waves are like life.  There are days with great waves and the tide is perfect.  Catch a good wave - and you can ride it to shore.  Or catch one, and someone gets in front of you - you steer off course, you get caught in the "washing machine"  and spit out.

Up and down.  In and out.  High tides and low tides.  Sometimes you get rolled.

You hold your breath and enjoy the ride.

Our last day in Kona couldn't have been "more better".  We cleaned up.  We went to the beach.  We were starving and went to lunch with Al and Lily at the Kona Brewing Company.  I caught the PERFECT picture of the kids and the happiness of our summer.

Silliness.  Happiness and joy in every one's eyes.

It's 3:00. We need to leave our house at 6:15 at the latest.  We are all packed.  We will need to shower.  What do you we want to do we have two hours?  Go!

We want to go to the beach!  Of course!  The kids go in the back of the truck - through the town.  One more time.

I've already washed my hair.  Maybe I'll just sit on the side.  Sure.

I'll swim as far as I can.  I'll hang in the water with the man whom we can't speak to each other.  I have nothing to say - I've said all I can.  He doesn't know what to say - Actually, I don't know what he's thinking. 

We listen to the kids.  Laugh like they have never laughed before.  Like they will never laugh again.  For one more moment.

The grown-ups: they give us the boogie boards.  I road waves - waves I have ridden all summer.  Perfect waves.  In perfect moments.

Three perfect waves.  All the way in.  The kids thought I was surely going to "die".  They were "scared" for their lives.  Their mom was going to die.  "I was going to get rolled".  I was scared too.  Scared I was going to swallow a bunch of water.  Get stomped on by someone else.  Not once though.  I just rode the waves to the beach.  With someone right next to me, blue eyes smiling. And when it was time, rode the last wave in, got out by myself and went and showered. 

Showered to the music of the locals having a Sunday cook-out - playing their songs.  Cooking and playing their ukulele's.  Running into friends on the beach.  Everyone was happy.  A perfect ending to a wonderful summer.

I wish I could say this was one of those Hollywood moments and everyone was washed cleaned. And they all lived Happily Ever After.

Actually, I can.

It was three kids playing in the water.  Laughing so hard, and so pure, everything was right in the world.  It was two adults, riding some waves.  

Everyone covered in sand. Everyone arriving to shore.  Some before the others:   a little dirty, a little scratched and all still smiling. 

The End

or maybe, it's just the beginning ..

The BEST Twenty Dollars I've EVER spent

EVER.  PERIOD.

Hawaii Jr Lifeguard program.   

If you have a 12 - 17 year old and EVER - EVER have the opportunity to put them in the Jr. Lifeguard program in Kona.  DO IT.  I don't care if your kid likes to swim or not.  It will be the BEST twenty bucks you have ever spent.  Even if they hate the class.

What does $20 get you??  TWO WEEKS Monday thru Friday (except first day is just a swim test to see if they can swim 200 yards).  Trust me, if two of the kids there passed the test, your kid can too.  It's all about water safety.  Sorry, for the tangent.  Two weeks, from nine until noon.  CPR, Board Safety, Open Water rescue, traditional Hawaiian dance (Haku - more on that in a moment), a potluck, a competition and new friends.  ALL FOR TWENTY DOLLARS. 

Truly, the class is priceless.  I happened to see a sign at the beach our second day here.  Nolan and Lily didn't want to do the class - it was two weeks, then another class was starting the week after Duncan got here.  Duncan said he wanted to do it.  Only once, did he say, "I don't want to go" and then 10 minutes later he was in the main house with his bag asking what was for breakfast.  Not a complaint in my book.

Then today was the "Jr Lifeguard Competition"  Three teams.  We were team "Kona", there was "Hapuna" (the location of the event) and the "Hilo" team (the three main areas of the island).  Several events.  1000m run; Run Swim Run; Paddle Boarding; Swim;  - all those skills you need in Life guarding.  Broken into girls/boys - then 12, 13-14; 15-17 age groups.  Duncan won the 1000m run for the 13 - 14 males. 

The state championship is in Oahu next weekend - he won a free airline ticket over there, since he came in first to compete.  (He's not going). 

AND, I haven't even begun to tell begun to tell you about the other prizes.

Give aways.  Box lunches (a box lunch here is - okay, I will have to upload this picture to do it justice, but rice, hot dogs (cut up and they are a reddish color), chicken, spam and sliced meat.  Free Gatorade and Water. 

No - there is no membership fee.  There is no entry fee.  I kept waiting for the catch.

Yes, part of it is our tax dollars at work.  Yes, both National and then their tax dollars - state at work.  Water safety.  Public Safety.

Then sponsorships.  For this event, the Alex and Duke DeRego Foundation is a big sponsor.  Ironman Foundation is another sponsor.  This is why today's event was "free".

Let me tell you about the Alex and Duke Foundation.  Of course there was a banner and I walked up to a woman with a foundation T-shirt on and asked, "What is the Alex and Duke Foundation". 

The woman explained to me that Alex had died while camping  - he fell into the water and they never recovered his body.  (I couldn't remember when, I was just trying to hold it together at this point of the story - tears had been forming in my eyes all day). Then just two years ago, Duke had died in a golf cart accident - teenagers being teenagers and he went flying.  (more of the story on their site).  Of course, by this time, I'm crying.  And just gave the woman a hug and said I'm so sorry and thank you.  For Duke, they donated his organs and this way, they could keep giving. 

Re-thinking as I'm talking to her, and I realized she had said, "we lost" - thinking this is the vernacular the organization uses to explain their cause.  Then I realize, it was their mom.  I think that's when the tears began.  Not sure.

It was after my son had won his medal.  Before we helped clean up.  And ever since.

We may be "haloe's" (white people) from the mainland, but when we find a good cause, we know it.